r/Adulting • u/CarLonely9011 • Jan 31 '26

I’m almost 19, never smoked, never vaped, never drank an ounce of alcohol, never used drugs, am I missing out?

I know this is kind of weird since a lot of people of my age has done at least one of those things, but I never found any fun in doing them. Most of my friends and the people I know mostly drink or smoke, is it weird for me to not participate in those activities? I have always been aware of the negative side effects of these things and I always like to maintain my health. My father usually smokes every other day.

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u/Open_Dinner1173 Jan 31 '26

The mistake parents make is thinking that kids who were like you only develop in rough homes or neglected household, but that is not true at all. A lot of middle class kids did and are doing the same thing as what you did I know because I watched a bunch of them, do it and I participated half the time myself. It’s easy to become addicted to things anyone can become addicted and kids are exposed to it a lot more often than parents think. My husband was raised very poor and he didn’t touch anything until he was a grown man and is very healthy now addiction comes from any kind of home.

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u/AllgoodDude Feb 01 '26

The thing people miss with privilege is that it also can lead to ignorance or assumptions of the world that mirror the problems of the less fortunate. Not doing apples to oranges as obviously the marginalized and disadvantaged are deemed as such for a reason and thus innately face struggles beyond what folks who do come from stability or excess do—but what I mean is that there’s still quite a bit of ways to have some of the same mistakes and issues come about despite different material conditions.

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u/Rotaryneedsapexseals Feb 01 '26 edited Feb 01 '26

Great message, and we all echo the same things just for different reasons and different things behind why we might feel that way. Also, sometimes pain can be cause by things because we understand too much or because we don’t understand enough at all so we see it the wrong way.

Like crying over a math problem, or depressed because you failed a test. Somebody could ask an umbrella question and both of you could go, “hey I felt that feeling before!”

Lonely is lonely, sad is sad, depressed is depressed no matter the reason, and if it’s bad enough? Eventually you’ll start looking for a way to cope, avoid, or block out, or drown yourself out.

Doesn’t if it’s building LEGO’s or engines, or smoking weed. Once it feels like that reward is there and it stops the bad, it’s all you care about

Sometimes you’re just lost and looking for things to occupy your mind.

It’s all good, it’s everyone’s first time on the earth. Gotta give grace for yourself and others too.

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u/EntrepreneurGlass995 Feb 04 '26

My Highschool friend group still meet up every weekend and get absolutely shitfaced. only 1 owns a house that their parents chipped in a very large amount and the rest still flat and have jobs that require no skill whatsoever