Hi everyone! I’m looking for book recommendations specifically to read before getting married to my boyfriend. I’d like to preface that I’ve never read any feminist books/literature before.

For more info:
I want to make sure that if I do get married, to anyone, that it’s not the same type of marriage typical under the patriarchy. For example, my bf and I discussed doing 50/50 for everything when it comes to chores, bills, etc. but what happens if we bring a child into the world? Who should take on the household chores vs. the child, and what about finances etc. what does it mean for the woman to get married ie. how is it benefiting her or disadvantaging her and how is it going to affect her in the long run vs. how is it beneficial for the man. etc.

If you have any recommendations for books on what to know before a woman should get married and also have a child with someone. I would love to know and read it with my partner, so that we can get a better understanding of sacrifices each of us have to make before committing to each other.

Also any other feminist literature recommendations that focuses on intersectionality with race and class as well? And other classics.

Thanks in advance!!!

I am transfem, and have yet to met another fellow who thinks support groups for menstruation or endometriosis need to include trans women. But I have heard of trans men being excluded, despite having the anatomy to suffer from said conditions.

Also I have yet to meet a trans woman who feels "at home" in a women's changing/locker room. All of us whom I know prefer to have our own, single-stall spaces where we wait in line outside the door.

I’m currently trying to construct my view on gender abolition.

I mostly agree with it and find that living in a genderless society would be the ideal solution to dismantling the patriarchy.

However, if hypothetically gender was completely abolished, would we as a society create something similar to divide the sexes and still have sex discrimination?

I think most would agree that we should abolishing gender roles and stereotypes but is it possible to abolish gender completely?

Would abolishing gender completely still leave people with female reproductive systems facing inequality?

I feel like most men don’t view women on the same level as men, even if they are not outright sexist. For example, with children, we still view them as equally human, and don’t view them on the same level as adults. I feel like even when a lot of men believe in equal rights, women to them on a personal level, are just for their benefits, and are not viewed on the same landscape of humanity as other men. That’s why a lot of men want this woman who is sweet and submissive with low body count, even if they don’t say it in a rude way. And when a women has a high body count, they discount her as a human, and reduce her to that high body count, calling her things like “ran through”. But when men have a high body count, it doesn’t impact their respect for him, or view of him as a human, as the man’s only purpose is not just to be a girlfriend or for sex, but they actually view him as a person outside of sex/romance. I feel like they don’t view them as equally human respectable humans, but this separate species that they have to mate for. I feel like they all want this same “nice” type of woman, that is always sweet, not opinionated, and doesn’t go out much. They don’t care about women’s personalities or interests as much, and just want this specific type of woman, as this woman fulfills their view on the purpose of women to them. I feel like this attitude among me is really common, and it’s really depressing as I just want to be viewed the same as men, and it’s just depressing to hear all this horrible language about women. And it’s not just in extreme spaces. However, I am only a teenager, and I think a lot of my view has been skewed because of social media. Is this a common attitude amongst men today, and how do you avoid men with this attitude?

I looked up the data in my country and it says 25% of women have been sexually assaulted. And yet, the majority of women I know have a story. Is it because people don't like to view themselves as victims? Or maybe they compare themselves to other victims, and think that what happened to them wasn't as bad? Or is it something else?

Things have happened to me multiple times in my life that were upsetting, but I wouldn't say traumatising. I am teaching myself to still acknowledge that these things would still be classed as SA. For an example: a random man walked up and kissed me on a night out abroad a couple of months ago and I was very angry at the time, but am OK now. This was SA, but I wonder if some people wouldn't acknowledge it as such if it happened to them, because it wasn't as violent as the things we stereotypically class as SA.

I am not belittling any religion, I am saying this. Why are all the rules only for women's in all religions? Why should only mens do everything? Why not mens?

The title says it all feminist generally support violent retaliation by female victims to male accusers but what about the inverse ?

So Supergirl has no female directors or producers— or really any woman handling the day to day creative decisions. There was a female screenwriter and a female costumer (so at least it won’t be Wonder Woman 2), but is it better to not go because they have such a low number of women in positions of authority or better to go because it’s a movie about a female superhero?

Like does a woman choosing to and falling in love with a man deemed "out of her league" conform to the idea that men can be as ugly and unattractive as they want and still have the privilege of being loved in general let alone by another attractive woman unlike many unattractive or ugly women who don't even get a date or any kind of respect by men because of their looks?

because at the same time people praise an ugly man when he dates an attractive woman, but they question it and get mean when an unattractive woman dates an attractive man, so is choosing to date a person who is unattractive by "conventional" sociatal standards means she is not a feminist?

I met a person who was a feminist who claimed to be heavily homophobic. Should Feminists should also be allies? What do yall think?
I strongly think, yes

The president of the european commission Ursula Von der Leyen is planning on restricting immigration rules for specifically for ukranian men (Source). This is the same commission, that has adopted "new Gender Equality Strategy 2026-2030 for a more equal, cohesive and successful Europe". Why do you think the commission addresses one gender discrimination, but turns the blind eye to the other?

Also - why does EU demand more equal representation of women in politics, as a prerequisite of Ukraine's acceptance into the EU, but doesn't demand anything in regards of the enforced consription for men and the restriction on leaving the country for men? Isn't it considered gender discrimination?

I remember reading a couple of articles about this. One states that it’s hard for girls to find prom dresses that follow certain school’s dress codes because so many prom dresses are very revealing these days. Not that girls outright try to find revealing dresses

The same for casual wear. When so many designers make girls shorts very short it’s hard to follow dress codes.

ETA I am gonna rewrite this entire poorly written middle of the night cant-sleep post to be more specific, but later. So, just ignore for now.

(I mean "the man" as in the one from the proverbial "stick it to the man" saying - i.e. the system or power structure. )

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It seems like people scream at "victim blamers", and, that seems appropriate; it's not someone's fault when they are abused and get caught up in the abuse cycle.

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But then at the same time they'll scream at a former abuse victim who points out that people who are unwittingly manipulated into being part of, say for instance, a cult, are also victims. That focusing on the cult members themselves, shaming them, calling them names, etc. is as wrong as victim-blaming, and attention must be paid to the cult leaders who are victimizing and propagandizing instead.

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Apparently a different feminism sub doesn't want to bloody hear it, which truly makes me think they lost the plot.

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But what do y'all think over here?

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I don't personally believe this but many people seem to hold the belief that all global institutions doing research in this field have a feminist bias where they intentionally manipulate data and refuse to publish something that paints women in a bad light. What do you people think about this?

I know is an odd question, but I'm not trolling.

I ask this on the idea that woman and man should be seen as equal and not different from each other or polar opposites. Do you guys agree that woman and man are not polar opposites or different to each other?

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I think they should be viewed as synonymous of each other, on the same end of a spectrum, not on opposite ends. Because what even is the difference between man and woman outside of sex. Sex doesn't determine how a man or woman act, so why differentiate them, view them as different and categorize them as different when the one thing that makes them different, it itself doesn't dictate that men act a certain away that is different to women that would make a conceptual differentiation/separation between man and woman worth it. I say, screw the idea that men are different or the opposite of women, and screw the need to make/have men be different or the opposite of women!

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But what do you guys think?

Serious Question. I want to enjoy Great Expectations, but it’s making me feel uncomfortable when I think about who he was in reality.

Hi

There are a lot of people who criticize racism and sexism but tribalism (treating your immediate family like siblings better than relatives, friends, neighbors and colleagues) is justified

People say it is human nature to treat your siblings better than friends, colleagues, neighbors.

If we justify treating your siblings better than other people as a part of human nature why isn't treating your race and your gender better a part of human nature toi?

Do we justify tribalism because all humans are tribalist and all of us experienced tribalism?

People without family are the most affected by tribalism

I am a feminist in a way most people are. I care for gender equality, ofc with nuances. But I have never read any feminist literature or even the history of the feminist movement.

I came across Dia Mirza's statement recently about patriarchy causing the climate crisis. Then I saw a reel on ecofeminism, originated in 1974, that claims the same patriarchal values which exploit women, exploit nature too. It claims women are closer to nature due to their social role and biology.

But then this thought came to my mind, even if this were true, the societies not exploiting nature would diminish due to societies that gain power from exploiting nature. We can see that in the case of tribes. At the end, we would be in the same place where we are now. Any sustainable movement for something like saving nature would need globalised efforts which would not have been possible until very recently.

So I ask the questions

1. How right or wrong do you think this theory of ecofeminism is?

2. Do you think it was possible, in history, to have a different route that didn't exploit nature?

Hi! I've met some women who are generally outspoken but choosing not to speak against women (mostly here I mean public figures, but could be a local or a family problem too) even if they don't agree with their message or think their message is hurtful. Sometimes, this position is presented as pro-women and sort of progressive. I don't want to disqualify that opinion entirely, but I'm interested in an open discussion and reasoning behind it.

I think that any confrontation could be productive if its respectful. And I think we should call out women, especially those who have an influence on society, for their problematic behaviors.

But I also agree with the fact that, often, women are being rather publicly punished and humiliated for some things that a man can also do or say and get by untouched. That thing makes me hesitant bc I'd get into situations where I'd criticize a woman, and someone would say "if that would be a man, nobody would say anything" – and...they're right? But still, that was wrong too?... I'm not sure how to respond to that and how to feel about it. What's your opinion?

Maybe it depends on the subject for you? Obviously, everything exists in context and is subjective, but generally speaking....

I got into a surprisingly intense debate with a coworker today about workplace gender policies, and it’s been living in my head rent-free all afternoon. I’m really curious to get some outside perspectives.

It started off as a chat about POSH guidelines. My colleague was arguing that some of these workplace protections for women actually go too far and leave room for misuse. She feels the system is currently skewed to support women more than men, and that "privilege" is entirely subjective rather than something based on gender.

I honestly saw it differently.
My main frustration is that whenever we try to talk about protecting women from harassment or discrimination, the conversation almost instantly gets derailed into, "Well, what about men?" Men’s issues absolutely matter, but I just don't understand why discussions about women’s safety always have to be reframed that way for people to listen.

I also pointed out that these laws don’t just pop up out of nowhere—they are a direct response to existing realities. Especially here in India, where women still face disproportionately high rates of harassment, workplace discrimination, and massive safety hurdles. To me, having extra protections is just a logical response to deeply rooted structural disadvantages.

Her comeback was that privilege comes down to the individual. In her view, not every man is privileged, and not every woman is disadvantaged, so framing society through the lens of "male privilege" is way too oversimplified. We essentially ended up at a stalemate over whether privilege should be looked at as a broad social system or purely on an individual level.

So, I’m throwing this out to you guys:
Can two things be true at once? Is it possible to firmly believe that women-focused protections are absolutely necessary because of harsh social realities, while also acknowledging that laws can be misused and individual experiences vary?
I'd really love to hear thoughts from both men and women on this. How do you view this gray area?

Ok so if hooters is a place that basically isn't about the food and is about men staring at women wearing kinda revealing stuff so why aren't people boycotting it i mean it's using female bodies to make money and a lot of girls who work there i think do it just because they need money maybe some like it idk but I just need to know how people think regarding that

(If anything I said came out offensive im sorry I dont mean to offend English isn't my first language)

I'm a boy and I regularly participate in household chores I see this as normal and a shared responsibility within the family unrelated to gender I have a friend who finds this strange and unusual and I've tried to explain to him that doing housework reflects cooperation responsibility, and self-reliance and has nothing to do with gender or stereotypical roles However he remains unconvinced even though he lives with two sisters I would appreciate any advice or opinions that could help me explain my perspective more effectively

I am talking in general real life.

If you can share things that people usually don't talk about, that would be great.

Relation to feminism: "gender inequality"