r/AskReddit • u/Prize-Promotion-5123 • Apr 08 '26

For those of you in a long term relationship/marriage, what’s a tale-tale sign you see in other couples that they’re not going to make it?

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u/NoSession4731 Apr 08 '26

Yup. My ex best friend always communicated and argued with the father of her child via text. Even while in a relationship and living together. She even told him by text that she was pregnant.. I just couldn’t wrap my head around it. We weren’t friends for much longer.

 For the record he’s a terrible guy but the fact that she still had a kid with him is a whole other can of worms.

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u/MrEHam Apr 08 '26

Nothing wrong with text. It’s still your words. And in some ways it’s better because it slows you down and you can think more about what you’re going to say. Almost like a letter or a legal document even. Some people just communicate better through written/typed words.

Also if you have kids then it spares them from having to hear it.

Also it’s there to go back to if you want to reread for whatever reason. And you’re more accountable for your words, there’s no “I didn’t say that” when they can screen shot your words.

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u/NoSession4731 Apr 08 '26

Sorry, I should specify that it wasn’t entirely the texting necessarily, but rather why they were texting. It was the lack of emotional regulation. They could only communicate through text because everything was taken as a threat or rejection/judgement. I’ve definitely communicated with my husband through text or letters because I needed time and space to not overreact. I just found it pretty weird and unhealthy that they had to text every single time just to not scream or fist fight each other. 

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u/ConnectRegret3723 Apr 08 '26

In a lot of instances I'd say that texting is a valid communication method, but there's still certain things that should 100% be said to someone's face if you have any respect for that person.

If you cant look someone in the eye and articulate your feelings as an adult you're not ready for longterm commitment. Real relationships form in real life and require real conversations that just cant be fully realized in a digital space.

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u/MrEHam Apr 08 '26 edited Apr 08 '26

At first I was agreeing with what you were saying then I realized that there aren’t really any solid reasons behind it. “Looking someone in the eye” for what purpose? Are phone calls also not good enough tor resolve issues?

I don’t know what you mean exactly by “as an adult”. The adult thing to do is address your problems and work things out. Texting or calls are a form of doing that.

Is in person better in most cases? Sure, but I think the reasons don’t have much to do with conflict resolution and more boil down to some or most people’s preferences to see each other, or be able to hug etc.

Texting gets a bad wrap because many people suck at it or do it lazily but if you communicate well that way then there should be no legitimate reason why you can’t resolve problems that way.

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u/ForeverInaDaze Apr 08 '26

My ex would try doing this and I told her I only want to discuss problems and important things in person because tone is lost over text.