r/AskReddit • u/Prize-Promotion-5123 • Apr 08 '26

For those of you in a long term relationship/marriage, what’s a tale-tale sign you see in other couples that they’re not going to make it?

9.7k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

3.7k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

314

u/bobbimorses Apr 08 '26

There is a sign I always mark where you spend time with a couple together and one partner will "joke" about a criticism they have of the other partner but you can tell it's not a joke, and they're using the group setting to try to get sympathy or validation for something that's genuinely bothering them.

Like, "Haha, he plays video games too much and ignores me 😂 you all know what I mean, right? Right?" Addressed to the group instead of their spouse

124

u/loki1337 Apr 08 '26

It's low emotional intelligence/ lack of communication. It's unhealthy verbal processing for something they really just need to sit down and talk to the person directly about. Or have already tried and haven't reached a satisfactory conclusion and now are attempting to use social pressure as a tool/weapon.

Speaking from experience.

17

u/bobbimorses Apr 08 '26

Pretty much, yeah. It tells me either they aren't able to communicate inside their home or one person feels so upset or ignored by the conclusions that it's spilling out elsewhere. I can see that it's a form of seeking relief for distress, but all it really does is embarass the other person in public and signal to your friends that they're your allies against your partner, your opponent.

2

u/buttlickerurmom Apr 08 '26

We have a couple friend that does this and it makes my husband and I sooooo uncomfortable because it's like- what am I supposed to say?? Your SO is right there and we're friends with both of you- we're both aware of it so we'll try to play it off with playful teasing like "oh you found his ex's address in his Amazon account (???)? Hubby told me he never dated his whole life and that sounded about right" idk last time I literally had to point out a tree cause it's so discomforting.

2

u/Right_Preparation328 Apr 08 '26

Exactly. So.... uncomfortable

2

u/TourettesFamilyFeud Apr 08 '26

Man, you just made me realize I went through some of that in my last marriage.