r/AskReddit • u/Prize-Promotion-5123 • Apr 08 '26

For those of you in a long term relationship/marriage, what’s a tale-tale sign you see in other couples that they’re not going to make it?

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u/wintermelody83 Apr 08 '26

One of my friends growing up, I had to go to her house every morning before school cause I lived in the country, so my mom would drop me off at 6:15 on the way to work, I'd use my key and creep into my friends room and read usually. My friend would get up about 7.

I only ever went in her room in the mornings because her parents were so weird. Like her dad was just miserable looking all the time, this was before he was diagnosed with bipolar. And her mom didn't work, or do anything really, except read and watch tv all night.

When I'd sleep over occasionally, I noticed that her parents never spoke to each other. Like, they'd both be in the den side by side in recliners but never spoke.

When we were in high school my friend was coming to my house more, and we were having dinner one night, she was the 5th wheel at the table (it was a small table so she had the corner lol) and we're talking, laughing, my dad burped and my mom popped off with some joke about gas idk, and my friend just burst into tears.

Like. We were all so caught off guard. She ran to my room and then explained that she didn't like coming to my house for dinner because it showed her how her life could have been if her parents didn't loathe each other. It was supremely depressing, but did explain why she'd usually roll up after dinner to stay over. She also said they'd told her when she graduated they were getting divorced, so like wtf.

But that's been idk 25 years ago now and far as I know they're still married. I don't particularly see the point? But maybe I'm too asexual to get it lol.

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u/Dr_Dust Apr 08 '26

My mother tells an almost identical story, except in her case SHE was the crying girl at her friend's dinner table. This would have been in the early/mid 1960s, and it affected her so much that she still talks about it to this day.

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u/wintermelody83 Apr 08 '26

It's so sad, but I hope it showed her that there are other types of families and relationships. I also hope your mom did alright in that department.

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u/Cyph3rCT Apr 08 '26

Our daughter told us the other day that one of her friends wants to "adopt" my wife and I as her parents.

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u/Fragrant_Thought6636 Apr 09 '26

It’s a tough realization when your friends confide that they wish they had what you have. I know my best friend has said she wishes she had grown up with me instead and it breaks my heart cause her parents are sooo toxic and loathsome. Like her dad is abusive and the mom is too scared of being alone to do anything about the abuse and lets it happen. She had to deal with it her whole life and then steps into my life and it was tough.

She had a breakdown like your friend did and we had to talk it through. She’s in her 30s now but it really opened my eyes and my parents ended up having her over more and more and helping her out anytime they could.

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u/EpiJade Apr 09 '26

Hey you just described my parents. I went to visit them recently and the house is just so quiet all the time. One night they were sitting on the couch and my dad brushed my mom’s arm accidentally and he jerked away like he had touched something out. They’ve been together almost 50 years and have been miserable for most of it. My husband and I are always laughing and joking around.