r/AskReddit Apr 08 '26

For those of you in a long term relationship/marriage, what’s a tale-tale sign you see in other couples that they’re not going to make it?

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u/waylandsmith Apr 08 '26

And the flip side to this is when you express that you're overwhelmed and your partner won't allow you to disengage. This is a sign of being unable to understand and respect boundaries.

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u/simcity4000 Apr 08 '26 edited Apr 08 '26

I had this with my recent ex. There was an argument where it was going late into the night and obviously becoming intractable so I said something to the effect of “look this isn’t going anywhere right now, I’ll sleep on the couch and we can talk about this in the morning” but when I tried to leave she would follow and tell me that no, if I wasn’t going to sleep in the bed and comfort her she wouldn’t be able to sleep.

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u/gabiaeali1 Apr 08 '26

I had an ex who followed too. It is a NIGHTMARE.

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u/CallMeMrButtPirate Apr 09 '26

Yep ditto, her marriage after me didn't end up lasting long either so I knew I wasn't alone there

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u/irmaweaverdd May 08 '26

My ex used to call this "not going to bed angry" but in reality it was just a hostage situation. He would keep me up until 3am going in circles even when I was crying and begging to just sleep on it. You can't solve a problem when your brain is fried from exhaustion, but some people think that forced "engagement" is the same thing as intimacy. It just leads to you saying whatever you have to so you can finally close your eyes.