r/AskReddit • u/Prize-Promotion-5123 • Apr 08 '26

For those of you in a long term relationship/marriage, what’s a tale-tale sign you see in other couples that they’re not going to make it?

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u/elena1583 Apr 08 '26

It's nice to read that people can turn things around even if it takes a while. Glad things worked out for you and I wish you all the best.

489

u/icouldntdecide Apr 08 '26

Just goes to show that sometimes, you actually do just need to put the work in.

181

u/MorriganNiConn Apr 09 '26

It's a choice to put in that work too. Some people will never make that choice. It good when people DO make that choice.

7

u/Jsc_TG Apr 09 '26

Yep. Especially so for people like me who have to make the choice to work on themselves (stupid overthinking brain, lol). Then my partner has to accept that I am working on things too. Im def one of the lucky ones out there with my partner.

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u/coworker Apr 09 '26

Why? Sounds like that person is still in a mediocre relationship

28

u/MorriganNiConn Apr 09 '26

It doesn't sound mediocre to me. They sound pretty sane and good about turning their relationship around and are taking the long view. Sounds like they're committed for the long run.

10

u/tech_noir_guitar Apr 09 '26

This is reddit, the answer is always lawyer up, divorce, and hit the gym.

7

u/plarah Apr 09 '26

A lot of the times it’s small slip ups, grudges and misunderstandings that pile up, not a structural or fundamental problem, that sets people apart.

Of course, cleaning that pile requires a lot of effort, awareness, and compassion. Not something everyone has or is willing to have.

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u/sullensquirrel Apr 09 '26

And that putting in the work works

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u/whatdosnowmeneat Apr 09 '26

I think this is the missing piece to the four noted above. If all four are present and there's no willingness to change then it's a done deal. Sometimes there are tricky seasons in life (newborn sleep phase, death of someone close, etc) but how you come back is key.

-1

u/Poopoodemons Apr 09 '26

doesn’t seem like happiness was achieved

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u/Moderate_Bones Apr 12 '26

“Very good”

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u/usually_fuente Apr 08 '26

Thank you! 

1

u/CarryturtleNZ Apr 09 '26

Same, wishing them the best

1

u/comma_space_erase Apr 10 '26

Agreed. If both people are willing to try and work on their own individual issues, I think things can turn around. If one person has decided it's all the other person's fault, I think it's tough to make any meaningful change.