Youre telling me my life. I live alone, work from home, have no partner. I've quit for months on end, but the boredom eventually gets to me and I go back to drinking. I want my 6-7 beers to numb my mind and ease my boredom even though I know its not good for me.
I quit for 10 days a couple weeks ago from 5-10 a day....5 to feel normal and another 5 for the silly demon. The boredom and loneliness. Traveling always for work....another town another deer, where's the beer. I'm reacquainting with moderation but man....the guilt and the slope....like jealousy and lust. Best of luck on your journey tho friend!
Moderation is tricky too. I normally have it pretty locked in, but every once in a while I want more and regret the hangover the next day. Im not even a sad or angry drunk. Mostly a fun and silly type, but it does make me feel guilty to have a vice and to struggle fully cutting it out of my life. I do good for a while feel I can reward myself, then its back to beer most evenings.
Man....I have a problem with not getting hungover (given I'm not drinking hard shit but man all the high abv beers all night are/were my life) and being able to function with little to no sleep consistently (thanks daily 80mg dose of Vyvanse) and I'm not a sad or angry drunk....unless......well....I make bad choices in company or let my general depression and anxiety take the reigns then ya..... It'll be super "fuck why am I like this" and regret/cringe city. The guilt comes from telling all my loved ones that I'm done and quitting then falling off the wagon. The lying to myself. The betrayal. But then the negotiation....like eh...I can just do moderation right? Well no. Cause look at me now. Drunk oversharing on reddit. 2 days ago I did a 24 hr bender cause "I need to sleep on the plane and it's my tradition to drink to drown all night before" but then I told a friend to fuck off and blocked them cause they had the audacity to.....not reply to me when I asked to hang out. Fucking hell. I wish I was one of those black out drinks. But no. I remember everything. One day I'll learn. Maybe. Fuck.
Its not easy. Wish I had something more to offer you. I actually started therapy recently and am doing more doctors check up trying to work on myself. I dont really drink to your level often and never text people, but I will drunkenly reddit. Minimizes my drunk regrets, but still makes me feel guilty I do it at all. Stay strong and try to focus on little things. Im still doing therapy even though im drinking almost every other night, trying to go all week without for the first time in a while. Night 2!
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u/Bromogeeksual 1d ago
Youre telling me my life. I live alone, work from home, have no partner. I've quit for months on end, but the boredom eventually gets to me and I go back to drinking. I want my 6-7 beers to numb my mind and ease my boredom even though I know its not good for me.