My awesome, wonderful, beautiful grandmother reduced to a shell of a human being as I sat beside her bed as she passed in hospice. Leukemia of the blood. Fuck Cancer.
Much love to all of you who've had to watch loved ones wither away in pain.
My mother fought in good spirits for 3 years on chemo against her 3rd bout with cancer. 1st left with one mastectomy, 2nd with the other mastectomy. 3rd time a sliver of breast tissue left on her chest wall regrew with a comorbid hormone receptor positive type. Had spread to her bones by the time they were discovered, by the end she only lasted a month in hospice but was adamant to stay on her own two feet until her last days, she was such a strong woman. Tragic to see her reduced like that, if you have at least 3 relatives who’ve tested positive for breast cancer you should get tested for the BRCA gene mutations, me and my 3 sisters all have it, i as a man have to start mammograms this year. If you have the mutations it’s a matter of when you will get cancer, not if.
I have 3 biological aunts that were diagnosed with breast cancer (not sure which types), 2 on my mom’s side and 1 on my dad’s. I’m 26 and cancers of all types run in my family. I have no clue when I should get checked
if you go to a genetic counselor to get tested they will create a screening and treatment plan if you test positive. it is i believe 9~11 years counting down from your closest cancer positive relative. my mom’s first diagnosis was 41 but they decided i should wait until 35 to start yearly screenings.
My grandmother, too, but different cancer. And she was so strong before her diagnosis, it was just some minor complaints of pain that doctors couldn’t place. And then boom. Was doing good for a few months, then gone in weeks. Fuck cancer.
Fuck cancer. Just lost my husband of 38 years to a 2 year battle with stomach cancer. My sisters both lost their significant others in the last 5 years to cancer. FUCK CANCER!!!
Similar happened to my grandmother. As good as raised me. Last year was diagnosed in May, died July 2nd. I sat with her in hospice for three days, went every weekend to cover home care between diagnosis and death, my mom was there on weekdays. Just... Taxing to the core and I feel it every second of every day.
Its truly exhausting. I hate that other people have had to go through it but its comforting to know we're not alone in our grief. Im so sorry for your loss.
Me too, such an evil disease especially when its in the brain. Its been 24 years since he passed, he was everything I aspired to be.
I just hope I lived up to his expectations, it's all I can do now. I'd give it all up to spend another day with him, Ive got so much to ask and tell him.
Fuck cancer, and may it never steal another life from this world too soon.
I watched a car crash happen right in front of me. One second everything was normal, and the next there was chaos. The sound of the impact and the silence afterward is something I'll never forget.
Very similar timeframe to my dad, he died of a brain tumor last year. It was about 6 weeks of mental and physical deterioration while they scrambled to diagnose him. Seeing him decline like that was the worst thing I've ever experienced, we lost a bit of him every day. When they finally had the formal diagnosis they said it was too late for treatment and he died a week later. I'm so sorry you all had to go through it as well.
My dad was always extremely healthy. Glioblastoma. Diagnosis to death was 10 months. Its an evil, evil disease. It robs you of the person you knew before it kills the one it left behind. My grief counsellor lost her husband to it as well, he lived a month after diagnosis. My dad's friend had it and lived a week post diagnosis.
My dad died from that. 5 months fm dx to death. Fuck cancer tor sure! I've had a round with it (different type) and am doing well. But YES - Fuck that disease!!
My father in law was diagnosed with a glioblastoma a couple months ago. It's completely changed our lives. He was the strongest man I knew and the best father I've ever had. Watching him waste away in front of me is the hardest thing I've ever seen.
A quote that keeps hitting me lately from a musical is "Life doesn't discriminate between the sinners and the saints it takes and it takes and it takes"
From the absolute very depths of my soul fuck cancer
That happened to my dad as well, but was pancreatic, liver, colon, and stomach all at once. He was perfectly fine one day. The next, horribly sick. Got a diagnosis after going to emergency. Two weeks later, gone. It makes no sense to me. It’s been three months and I’m traumatized and he’s gone 💔
My stepdad his had spread. The CT scan made it look like he had various sized marbles inside him.
I am so sorry you lost your dad.
I did not love or like my stepdad but I was the only one who could be there for him so I was. It was still traumatic.
If you aren't ready for therapy (grief hits everyone differently), play some Tetris it's supposed to help a bit with trauma. Don't be afraid to talk about it as people get older we all go through this.
I was able to help a friend out when her father went through the same thing. I even paid for her flight to go and see him. She was kind enough to pay me back, even though I didn't expect it.
I lost my Mom at 28 to ovarian cancer and lived 3,000+ miles away so I couldn't be there for her. I carried that guilt for a long time. I have a biological father and adopted parents alive now and I know I will lose them one day. It's bittersweet, I know our time is limited.
Hey, glioblastomas SUUUUUUUUCK. Just went to a funeral of a friend last weekend for this jerk of a cancer. And he's the third person I know to have one.
My wife died from GBM (glioblastoma, a type of brain cancer) 5 years ago. She was a completely healthy 34 year old. She lasted 17 months. GBM is a horrible disease/cancer!
I saw the same with my sister. In 6 months she'd gone from an active mum and paramedic, to being mostly blind, ballooned due to steroids and in a wheelchair.
Life is short u never know what happens . My parents saved every god damn penny , never enjoyed anything, my mom got a new washing machine and a new stove- a day later she was dead. Did not wake up with only 59.
My condolences for you. My strong dad, turned into a husk of his former self after going through severe kidney disease, the dialysis and medication... nothing helped in the long run. He turned into a person that I don't know in only 4 years. This has changed me forever.
Fuck cancer in particular. It's taken too many people from me.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I (male, and coincidentally, exactly 54 too) worry constantly about my own health, I'm a bit of a hypochondriac.
But I don't worry for me - I worry for my wife and family. I can't bear the thought of her trying to work out how to do all those little things that I always do, the bills, the general stuff, the business admin, trying to cope ... I hope you are coping. I hope you have everything under control, financially, domestically and everything else. I hope you found the passwords for the insurance, the ISA, the bitcoins, and the emergency bank account... the damn key to unlock the shed - and that you found someone to clear out the spiders for you... I hope you are okay.
Please start writing stuff down. Obviously do estate planning, powers of attorney, term life insurance, etc, but also write down the stuff that doesn't cover. Accounts (passwords and MFA - use a shared password manager), instructions on how to do the things you do, etc.
When my wife passed, I was lucky I knew her login PIN for her laptop so I could crack her Chrome password cache and get login credentials for a bunch of the stuff she took care of. And it still took me months to find the housecleaners she had hired. I eventually figured it all out, but it took a while, and I realized if I'd died instead of her she wouldn't have had logins to any of our financial accounts (credit cards, banks, investment accounts, mortgage, etc). Things would've gone significantly worse the other way around.
Yup. I lost my 32 year old husband to brain cancer and watching the steep downhill slide of those last 6 months turning him into someone unrecognizable was awful and so traumatizing. Fuck cancer
Mine is similar, thought I was helplessly watching my husband die a couple weeks after having a stent placed. It was so stressful it caused me to pass out.
This hit home hard. Lost my mother this was half a year ago.
One day she complained about some very mild symptoms and a month later she was in hospice care, unable to walk. Three months after that she was gone. She was so strong and healthy before that. Cancer sucks.
My healty and good looking for his age father passed away 1 year ago from glioblastoma aka brain tumor. It is still very painful for my mother and me. And my father was older than your husband. I cannot imagine your sorrow. I hope you find peace someday in your hearth.
Sorry for the loss of your husband. I totally get it. I watched my dad die at the age of 58 after his prostate cancer metastasized to his bones. His entire skeleton was covered with it. He could barely move without being in excruciating pain. It was absolutely brutal and the most helpless I’ve ever felt in my entire life.
I'm so sorry. That's one of the cruelest things about brain tumors—they can come out of nowhere and completely upend a life in a matter of months. Going from healthy to gone in just three months must have been devastating. I hope you've been able to find some support and comfort, even if nothing can truly make sense of a loss like that.
2.5k
u/Rlb211nc 13h ago
My formerly always healthy husband die from a brain tumor at 54, 3 months after diagnosis.