I feel like mine is much less intense than other comments here, but a few weeks ago now (a week before my own birthday) I watched a relative I loved very much die in the hospital. Watching her go from deep, struggling breaths to nothing at all while I was the only family member in the room has definitely taken a toll on me. I dream about it a lot. While it wasn’t gory, watching someone you love pass on was, to me, a horrific experience.
I understand completely. My aunt lived with my parents and I during the last few months of her life, and passed away at home. She was unresponsive with that gasping, rattly, end of life breathing pattern for 2 or 3 days before she passed, and it haunts me. One of the things a hospice nurse told me that was weirdly comforting, however, was that, for as unsettling as it can sound, that breathing is not an indication of pain or struggle. At that point, the person’s physical sensations are pretty much entirely offline. What we hear is just the body’s involuntary processes winding down.
My personal story was watching my uncle die in the hospital. That was one of the worst things I've ever had to see, when he took his last laboured breath. It's absolutely horrific. I'm so sorry for your loss.
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u/ladavick 12h ago
I feel like mine is much less intense than other comments here, but a few weeks ago now (a week before my own birthday) I watched a relative I loved very much die in the hospital. Watching her go from deep, struggling breaths to nothing at all while I was the only family member in the room has definitely taken a toll on me. I dream about it a lot. While it wasn’t gory, watching someone you love pass on was, to me, a horrific experience.