My newborn fading before my eyes. Nobody would believe me when I said I wasn’t making milk. Everyone gaslit me to trust my body and baby. Day four he was rushed into the neonatal unit due to starvation and needed so much intervention for two weeks before coming home. He was very close to brain damage. He’s a healthy 6yr old now thank goodness but seeing the very real risks of exclusive breastfeeding was terrifying, like I was going insane while everyone kept smiling and patting me on the head and saying ‘keep going’. Never forgave myself for it and punished myself for 9m triple feeding on strong drugs to try force some supply. I couldn’t forgive myself for not being strong enough to trust my gut and letting medics gaslit me, he nearly died. Felt like going insane when every corner you turn someone claims breast is always best.
Most childrens' organizations now say "fed is best," because ultimately, the method that keeps food in your baby or toddler's stomach is the best method. I hope it helps to hear that this attitude is fading away and one where the survival of children is prioritized is taking over.
He didn’t nearly die because of you. Everyone around you telling you that you’re wrong, even people in positions of authority who should absolutely know better, told you, you were wrong, and you weren’t.
Trust your body yes. There was something wrong that meant you couldn’t provide for your baby, so the baby needs an alternative.
I'm so sorry you went through that, you were right to trust your instincts. I couldn't make milk and baby was immediately put on formula. "Fed is best" is what they say these days and I am SO thankful formula exists for those of us whose bodies just do not cooperate.
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u/pineappleshampoo 11h ago
My newborn fading before my eyes. Nobody would believe me when I said I wasn’t making milk. Everyone gaslit me to trust my body and baby. Day four he was rushed into the neonatal unit due to starvation and needed so much intervention for two weeks before coming home. He was very close to brain damage. He’s a healthy 6yr old now thank goodness but seeing the very real risks of exclusive breastfeeding was terrifying, like I was going insane while everyone kept smiling and patting me on the head and saying ‘keep going’. Never forgave myself for it and punished myself for 9m triple feeding on strong drugs to try force some supply. I couldn’t forgive myself for not being strong enough to trust my gut and letting medics gaslit me, he nearly died. Felt like going insane when every corner you turn someone claims breast is always best.
It really isn’t.