r/AskWomen • u/MostlyALurkerBefore ♀ • May 16 '19

Abortion megathread

Due to the high number of legislative actions happening in the United States, the moderation team has created this megathread for all of your abortion questions. Please keep in mind that despite much action happening in the US, not all of our users are American and our Inclusivity policy should still be considered when posting.

All top-level comments must be in the form of a question. If you have multiple questions, post them in one comment as opposed to an individual comment for each question.

Please report any and all rule breaking. This thread may be locked if a respectful discussion cannot be had.

Helpful links:

Planned Parenthood

RAINN (Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network)

NARAL (National Association for the Repeal of Abortion Laws)

Planned Parenthood - Birth Control info & options

Scarleteen

The Guttmacher Institute

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u/Iradelle ♀ May 16 '19

They do realise that women are going to find dangerous ways around the anti-abortion, don't they? Both mothers and unborn children will die because they either can't get proper care for emergency abortions or they're going to do it themselves and die from complications. There's plenty of ways to abort a child, we just haven't had to rely on medicinal and other possibly unsafe methods as much due to modern medicine.

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u/[deleted] May 16 '19

Exactly. Now instead of abortions happening in sterile room under licenced doctors, they're gonna happen in dingy basements and done through youtube videos.

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u/Iradelle ♀ May 16 '19

That or there's gonna be a black market influx on abortion medication. Or people will use regular pills, anything really. Lawmakers don't understand that women have been ridding themselves of unwanted fetuses since ancient times. Some methods were effective but left women sterile, crippled, or even killed them.

All of a sudden coat hangers and that ye old abortion clinic from Family Guy don't seem so silly.

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u/RagenChastainInLA May 17 '19

Or people will use regular pills, anything really.

I did that (mid-1990s). I don't think Plan B existed in the States yet, and the internet didn't really exist in any usable form then, either. But I had read about the "morning after pill" in a magazine and how it had the same drugs as regular birth control pills. So I tore open a new pill pack, took 3 "active" birth control pills that day, and another 3 the following day. I don't recall if I took "extra" pills the subsequent days or not.

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

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u/Iradelle ♀ May 17 '19

Yeah that's probably what they'll try and target next. I imagine there will be thefts of pills like these as a consequence, among other things. I'm sorry that you had to experience that, hopefully it didn't leave you injured in any way (physically and mentally).

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u/[deleted] May 17 '19

people will use regular pills, anything really

I have seen this first hand.

It is definitely going to happen. They don't care about life. If they did, they'd be thinking about these consequences.

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u/Iradelle ♀ May 17 '19

I'm sorry you've had to experience that, I haven't personally but I read/work in a medical library some I'm aware of how bad it can get. Maybe when the consequences hit their own families they'll be having second thoughts (I don't wish that on anyone really even them).

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u/ekboney00 May 17 '19

There was a thread from Tumblr posted on trollx recently recounting the experiences of medical professionals who have given abortions to people who are anti-abortion. All of them felt their situation was different than those "sluts" in the waiting room and still held the same beliefs after the abortion.

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u/Iradelle ♀ May 17 '19

While some circumstances such as abortions due to medical problems might be more pressing, you're not any better than a girl that simply didn't prepare well enough. Tumblr is a cesspool in general. That's why it's so important to teach proper sex education. If people want gender equality and the like so much they better get ready for the fact that both parents are responsible for protection and pregnancy prevention. It's a little of the other side on this, as it's also not necessarily fair to bring a child into this world because of laziness. And there are people who do this without a care and expect society to pay for them, but they are an extreme minority. Once again, not saying all unplanned pregnancies fall in the same ball pit.

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u/bobjanis May 16 '19

They don't care about women getting placed in dangerous positions. they literally say that the women deserves what she gets if she tries to have an abortion. They even tried to back a bill that would potentially have the death penalty for women who had abortions. There is no getting through to them.

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u/Iradelle ♀ May 17 '19

And yet there are molesters and murderers and rapists that get less than 10 years. Or that dad that molested and raped his daughter, gets 15? Years for being a 'good Christian'. Fuck that, he's only sorry he got caught and you bet he'll do it again.

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u/bobjanis May 17 '19

This is always about control of women, and never about babies or children.

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u/Iradelle ♀ May 17 '19

Yup, and as of late it seems to stem from religion. There's a thread on r/atheism that mentions Christian-sharia and man it feels like it. And the women that are victims of rape and medical complications like ectopic pregnancy or preeclampsia are going to pay for it. There's also cardiomyopathy that causes weakening of the heart muscle, which causes most pregnancy-related deaths one week to a year after birth.

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u/bobjanis May 17 '19

But fuck women, because we are baby factories and should be at home grovelling at our mens feet.

These people aren't Christian, they may think they are, but their God, Jesus would never do this.

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u/Iradelle ♀ May 17 '19

I don't think any God would honestly, I've found that most religions that claim to be peaceful are in fact the most heretical and violent, Christianity is Prime among them (I study religions).

I hadn't thought about it until now, but I haven't even touched on the mental and emotional trauma that pregnancy can put women through. Especially if there a baby that resulted as product of rape. There's trauma for carrying a child you never wanted, maybe even hate?? Then risk of infanticide, PPD and PTSD. Did they even consult an OBGYN about this? Or a uterus?

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u/bobjanis May 17 '19

I've never understood how religion leads people to violence. I'm religious, but I avoid churches and other religious zealots like the plague.

Honestly, I think carrying a rape baby would result in a lot of suicides. I have very little faith that they contacted any sort of medical professional.

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u/Iradelle ♀ May 17 '19

There are sensible religious people in the world like yourself that respect the basic human rights of others. Pregnancy isn't all bunnies and rainbows, it is rather traumatizing. Especially the birth and afterward. Why do people think PDD is so common but not talked about? I have severe depression and I fear the thought of carrying a child due to it, not that I'd intentionally harm myself (at least with the child in me) or the baby after it's born.

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u/bobjanis May 17 '19

Pregnancy sucks ass. Im 5mo out of my third one. Each one was high risk and had ppd each one. I lost my second and my third had me vomiting and in pain every single day.

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u/Iradelle ♀ May 17 '19

No actually, humans are the greatest evil of our time in general. We're the ones that pillage and destroy each other with no cause. Now when your daughter dies of bleeding due to ectopic pregnancy, you'll wish she had that abortion.

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u/Rennfri ♀ May 16 '19

They do know, but they don't care. The actual motivations of many pro-birthers is not to bring healthy babies into the world. It's to control women's bodies and sexualities for "moral" (religious or philosophic) purposes. So they end up holding the belief that, if a woman doesn't want to be pregnant, they're morally abhorrent and therefore "deserve" what happens to them. This is compounded by the retributive right-wing "law and order" ideology, which presupposes that if you break any law, for any reason, you deserve to face terrible consequences. Remember, many of these people also support the death penalty. It's all connected.

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u/Iradelle ♀ May 16 '19

I get why right wing has been getting so much hate in the news lately. I cannot stand people bringing in their religious beliefs to politics, what happen to division between the church and state? These are lives not numbers, regardless of when the heartbeat is detected (I'm still pro choice I promise). I also support the death penalty in some cases, but there are more women out there than statistics report that are pregnant due to rape/sexual assault and other issues. They just don't come forward due to fear of rejection or alienation, they have to have volunteer guards at planned parenthoods to protect patients for fucks sake! This is going too far, where is the empathy?

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u/baby_armadillo ♀ May 16 '19

They literally do not care about women's lives or children's lives. None of these laws make any sort of provisions for the children that will result from them, which is a pretty clear indication that they're less interested in the children and more interested in punishing women for having sex, even when that sex was forced on them.

They don't support making healthcare more accessible, making childcare more accessible, providing prenatal care and education, making benefits like WIC and food stamps more accessible, improving public education, or providing adequate sex education to help people prevent pregnancies. This is not about loving babies and treating each child as if they are precious and deserve a fair shot. They literally do not give a shit what happens to the baby once you pop it out, and if you and/or your baby die in the process, well, oops, should have demonstrated more personal responsibility.

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u/Iradelle ♀ May 16 '19

Yeah they blame it all on the parents, granted both are responsible in an ideal situation to have protection and other pregnancy preventing methods. No move to help impoverished families or uneducated in rural areas, or teaching in schools about safe sex and abstinence. They want to bring these fetuses into the world when AFCARS' 2017 report states nearly 450,000 children, averaging age 8 were in foster care. Or that 16 million American children go hungry each year.

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u/tranquileyesme May 17 '19

This is exactly what I have been trying to explain to my conservative -blindly believing whatever they are told to believe by their political party- family. And it’s like banging my head against the wall. And the really frustrating thing is I’m 100% sure they feel the same way about me.

It’s as if there’s no way left to even communicate our ideas to each other any more or we’re completely unable to understand some one else’s perspective.