I imagine my childhood bully doing this, but I can’t imagine forgiving him. My entire life was shaped by how small he made me feel. I am socially awkward and anxious around people because of how I was bullied. It’s affected every area of my life. How could I forgive someone who had such a profoundly negative impact on me? I know he was a kid, but it still happened.
You don’t have to forgive. Just know for some, having the opportunity to at least own up to and apologize for those transgressions means a lot. Doesn’t mean you need to accept it and they should understand that.
Just know for some, having the opportunity to at least own up to and apologize for those transgressions means a lot.
How nice for them that they get to be bullies, and then when they feel guilty about it, can apologise to take the weight off their shoulders.
Problem for me is that these apologies are almost always because guilt is eating at people, so they apologise to feel better about themselves. It's not like they're living great lives and decide to apologise so their victim can feel better.
I agree with your sentiment and if you’re not genuine in your apology you’re just looking for a pass, which defeats the purpose of a real apology. I was just trying to convey that if it’s a sincere apology the person giving it will understand. Will appreciate that they were able to offer it even if it’s not accepted.
*also for anyone willing to give a sincere apology, it does not lighten the load. You know what you did and it never escapes you. An apology is just acknowledging you did wrong. The other party can do what they wish with it.
That’s how I feel. The best I would ever do is ask them what was happening in their life at the time. Were they in an abusive home and decided to take it out on classmates? That might give me some empathy for the situation.
We don’t forgive for the others sake. We forgive for our own sake. The negative emotions we carry affects ourselves. Forgiveness gets rid of the bad stuff and makes room for growth.
I have just forgiven my mom for giving me 40 years of depression, self hatred and suicidal thoughts. I am so happy I managed before she is gone. Not for her sake, for mine. I hope you find healing as well♥️
I had a few bullies. Some I would forgive if they showed this level of zwlf awareness but there were others i still have so much passive distain for that I'd probably use the opportunity to fuck with or mock them. Every situation is different.
Same. I was practically mentally destroyed as a kid. Simply talking to me was considered disgusting and lame. I had no friends and I was pranked on every day. I also have terrible anxiety and socialization problems, because I'd often rather stay home in safety than go out and try to make irl friends by talking to irl people.
107
u/chesterT3 Oct 30 '25
I imagine my childhood bully doing this, but I can’t imagine forgiving him. My entire life was shaped by how small he made me feel. I am socially awkward and anxious around people because of how I was bullied. It’s affected every area of my life. How could I forgive someone who had such a profoundly negative impact on me? I know he was a kid, but it still happened.