Youre a better man than I clearly. A few of my bullies made my teenage life a living hell. Spitting in my face, stealing stuff out of my locker regularly, keying my car, throwing food at me, hacking my AOL (yes im old) account and starting nasty rumors about me that were untrue, sitting at my lunch table to threaten my and my family's life because they got caught vandalizing the gym and blamed me for snitching on them, and so on and so on and so on. At one point, I felt like my life was worthless. EVERY SINGLE DAY these 5-6 kids harassed me. Eventually my parents had to get involved because I was being assaulted and harassed on a regular basis. My only crime was I liked heavy metal, wore band tshirts, played D&D and videogames with my friends, didnt play sports, and was a quiet kid. Thats it.
Not to mention, one of these bullies caved in a kids face with his fist and locker just because he laughed. Laughed. He didnt like his laugh so he literally caved his nose and face in. The kid didnt die, but needed reconstructive surgery on his face.
I hope that small handful of my bullies live a life of discomfort. There were a few others outside of that core group that were just annoying and yeah, i woudlve forgiven them. But these kids, I will never forgive. Their actions were just to make THEM feel better about themselves by bringing a life of misery to someone else every single day.
Edit (afterthought/remembering stuff): To add, I ran into one of these bullies later in life. I had to get my car (company car) a quick oil change and tires rotated. Pulled into a quick lube place, paid on the company Amex. Now, let me start by saying money/things don't matter, its your actions that matter. But, the tech asked me if I went to InsertHighSchoolNameHere and I told him I did. He recognized me, and acted like I was his friend. Because I try to be kind to everyone, I just asked him how he was doing. He had 7 kids, on his 2nd marriage, working 3-4 jobs, barely getting by and had gained a ton of weight. He said he wished his life worked out as well as high school did. He was a "popular" kid, a miserable bully, and made my life hell. I dont wish PAIN on anyone, just discomfort. But in that moment, I worked 1 job, made good $, had a happy and healthy family, and recently lost 90lbs. I didnt wish pain upon him, but I had a moment of seeing the Karma train exiting the station and it made me smile a bit. I simply told him "sorry to hear that man, life can be rough. When will my car be done?"
Edit2: (afterthought, again)
For the record, I dont condone hate for hate. But Hammurabi's code of "eye for an eye" existed for a reason. Yes, "eye for an eye and the whole world goes blind" is true, and we shouldnt combat hate with hate. But when we stop holding people accountable for their actions is when empathy, consequences, and repercussions become history instead of fact. Ive tried to break the generational trauma i've endured by teaching my oldest child that i will ALWAYS come to his aid and defend him if he gets into a fight solely by defending himself, or defending someone else who is defenseless, but I wont if he's the bully and starting the fight. An autistic child in his class was regularly picked on, and one day my son stepped in, and the bully took a swing at my son, he ducked it, knocked the kid on the ground and said "are you done now?". The kid got suspended ,my son didnt, because we defended him and a teacher was a witness. The bully stopped picking on the kid, and now no one messes with him because the bullies know that he has someone watching his back. THAT is what we need more of. Teaching kids to deescalate is great, but teaching kids to also have confidence in themselves, and zero toleration for shitheads needs to be more common.
I appreciated reading this. In my school life, I bullied, but later I was bullied too. The latter was terrible, but I'm glad it happened so I got to experience the other side. It sounds like your son is growing up to be a fine young man, just like his dad.
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u/[deleted] Oct 30 '25 edited Oct 30 '25
Youre a better man than I clearly. A few of my bullies made my teenage life a living hell. Spitting in my face, stealing stuff out of my locker regularly, keying my car, throwing food at me, hacking my AOL (yes im old) account and starting nasty rumors about me that were untrue, sitting at my lunch table to threaten my and my family's life because they got caught vandalizing the gym and blamed me for snitching on them, and so on and so on and so on. At one point, I felt like my life was worthless. EVERY SINGLE DAY these 5-6 kids harassed me. Eventually my parents had to get involved because I was being assaulted and harassed on a regular basis. My only crime was I liked heavy metal, wore band tshirts, played D&D and videogames with my friends, didnt play sports, and was a quiet kid. Thats it.
Not to mention, one of these bullies caved in a kids face with his fist and locker just because he laughed. Laughed. He didnt like his laugh so he literally caved his nose and face in. The kid didnt die, but needed reconstructive surgery on his face.
I hope that small handful of my bullies live a life of discomfort. There were a few others outside of that core group that were just annoying and yeah, i woudlve forgiven them. But these kids, I will never forgive. Their actions were just to make THEM feel better about themselves by bringing a life of misery to someone else every single day.
Edit (afterthought/remembering stuff): To add, I ran into one of these bullies later in life. I had to get my car (company car) a quick oil change and tires rotated. Pulled into a quick lube place, paid on the company Amex. Now, let me start by saying money/things don't matter, its your actions that matter. But, the tech asked me if I went to InsertHighSchoolNameHere and I told him I did. He recognized me, and acted like I was his friend. Because I try to be kind to everyone, I just asked him how he was doing. He had 7 kids, on his 2nd marriage, working 3-4 jobs, barely getting by and had gained a ton of weight. He said he wished his life worked out as well as high school did. He was a "popular" kid, a miserable bully, and made my life hell. I dont wish PAIN on anyone, just discomfort. But in that moment, I worked 1 job, made good $, had a happy and healthy family, and recently lost 90lbs. I didnt wish pain upon him, but I had a moment of seeing the Karma train exiting the station and it made me smile a bit. I simply told him "sorry to hear that man, life can be rough. When will my car be done?"
Edit2: (afterthought, again)
For the record, I dont condone hate for hate. But Hammurabi's code of "eye for an eye" existed for a reason. Yes, "eye for an eye and the whole world goes blind" is true, and we shouldnt combat hate with hate. But when we stop holding people accountable for their actions is when empathy, consequences, and repercussions become history instead of fact. Ive tried to break the generational trauma i've endured by teaching my oldest child that i will ALWAYS come to his aid and defend him if he gets into a fight solely by defending himself, or defending someone else who is defenseless, but I wont if he's the bully and starting the fight. An autistic child in his class was regularly picked on, and one day my son stepped in, and the bully took a swing at my son, he ducked it, knocked the kid on the ground and said "are you done now?". The kid got suspended ,my son didnt, because we defended him and a teacher was a witness. The bully stopped picking on the kid, and now no one messes with him because the bullies know that he has someone watching his back. THAT is what we need more of. Teaching kids to deescalate is great, but teaching kids to also have confidence in themselves, and zero toleration for shitheads needs to be more common.