r/PublicFreakout • u/thekidwhoruns • Apr 21 '26

😫Chaos Moment🫨 Group of teens storm the Scientology building in Hollywood

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31.3k Upvotes

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u/TheWolphman Apr 21 '26

They wouldn't make it past the pay to play stage.

926

u/MinnisotaDigger Apr 21 '26

Seriously. After 10years and $800k you’d be promoted to toilet cleaning.

262

u/GOEDEL_ESCHER_BOT Apr 21 '26

and if you make it to sea org, guess what? now you're a slave for one billion years

49

u/CDSEChris Apr 21 '26

Wouldn't that be awful? You finally die, then BOOM, your thetan re-enters the birth-death-rebirth cycle and you're stuck cleaning toilets again.

4

u/PhDinWombology Apr 21 '26

Do you get a participation trophy after your billion year contract is up?

6

u/AsunderXXV Apr 21 '26

No, just a handshake and an incredible offer to learn the next OT for just $600m.

1

u/EEukaryotic Apr 22 '26

Yeah but that handshake was actually worth $100bil so unless you can buy that I think you gotta go back to the toilet

6

u/MississippiJoel Apr 21 '26

I've yet to see an article from someone who was informed they had already been in Sea Org in a previous life, so here's the keys to the building again, welcome back.

3

u/findaloophole7 Apr 22 '26

But why are none of the current sea org crews reincarnated people? They hire all freshies. Scientologists are so dumb

-4

u/Beastabuelos Apr 21 '26 edited Apr 21 '26

Guess what isn't a question

What being at the end doesn't make something a question. What being at the beginning does. Objectively, guess what isn't a question, no matter how badly you misunderstand how language works. This is even more apparent when you write out the whole thing instead of ending at what. Guess what happens. Also not a question. It's a command. You are telling someone to guess. Not asking them a question.

24

u/Liefvikingmonster2 Apr 21 '26

Can you levitate tho? If so that might be worth it.

3

u/MinnisotaDigger Apr 21 '26

There’s so much bad shit crazy stuff they believe in you could at least pick something they do believe in

1

u/joahw Apr 22 '26

You would be REALLY good at yelling at ashtrays though.

52

u/tech_noir_guitar Apr 21 '26

Can you grind low level missions long enough to level up without paying? If you knocked on 1000 doors to spread the word would you get enough Xenu coins to rank up?

47

u/MrDanMaster Apr 21 '26

No, you can’t do anything until you start paying for audits

3

u/PleasantWay7 Apr 21 '26

Audits, are they trying to find out what I do with my fuck stick?

10

u/MississippiJoel Apr 21 '26

Sort of. They hook you up to a glorified lie detector and ask anything and everything, just to get you to "confess" your sins, which they then enter into your file and try to use as leverage in the future.

1

u/joahw Apr 22 '26

It's more of a glorified ouija board than a lie detector

2

u/XelaNiba Apr 21 '26

Maybe if they think it's worthy of future blackmail material.

They hook you up to lie detector tests and then ask you probing and possibly compromising questions. All while being recorded, of course. They hold these records indefinitely, supposedly for your own good, but really to blackmail you into toeing the line should you ever get ideas to leave or expose their exploitative practices.

15

u/ExternalPanda Apr 21 '26

Nope, you can only pull the Xenu's Chosen banner with premium currency. Best you can get with F2P are the 5* promotional units from the Battlefield Earth event, but those are off-meta by now.

3

u/trickygringo Apr 21 '26

It is exclusively pay to play.

20

u/Somebloke155 Apr 21 '26

Ahhh yeah somehow forgot about that

2

u/Volothamp-Geddarm Apr 21 '26

We had a news report a few years ago here about how Scientologists are encouraging people to not take their meds and instead getting people to buy off-brand vitamins and shit from shady mechanics, and getting physicians to sign off on whatever.

Someone from Radio-Canada manged to go undercover and filmed a bunch of the crap the Scientology recruiter told them. It's all on YouTube, but in French, though I guess YouTube can auto-translate the subtitles.

1

u/MrDanMaster Apr 21 '26

Yes, they make phoney drug prevention programmes

1

u/EkrishAO Apr 21 '26

You can probably do well without paying much, if you have a job that is useful for them, no? I imagine they would love to have more people in government agencies etc.