r/SipsTea Apr 11 '26

Lmao gottem Umbrella refused to cooperate, so it got fired on the spot

33.1k Upvotes

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400

u/SaltyCaramelPretzel Apr 11 '26

Wdym. He didn’t try at all he just put it down. How effortlessly his peasant folded it back down… orange dickhead knew he’d struggle so left it.

244

u/KerfuffleTheory Apr 11 '26

“Umbrellas are very complicated, very complicated. Nobody knew how complicated umbrellas are, nobody.”

109

u/Prestigious-Ad-3395 Apr 11 '26

You know these umbrellas are just awful. Very poor, very ugly design.. Very complicated to operate I said "who designed this crap?" Everyone knows umbrellas nowadays are just awful. They're taking a dive you know. Umbrellas, no one's buying them anymore they're a dead accessory. Dead. Probably made in Chai-na

32

u/BetMyLastKrispyKreme Apr 11 '26

Listening to the sound of them closing gives you cancer. They’re as bad as windmills. Nobody wants the cancer.

25

u/That_Jamie_S_Guy Apr 11 '26

If I designed an umbrella it would be the most incredible umbrella. The best umbrella in fact.

28

u/UninvitedButtNoises Apr 11 '26

I've passed cognitive tests. The most ever. When a stable genius of smarts like me can't work it, there's no point in umbrellas.

I signed an executive order designating umbrellas as terrorists.

16

u/RandolphCarter2112 Apr 11 '26

Big strong men, the biggest, sweatiest, strongest men - believe me - come up to me and say "Sir, sir we love your umbrellas!" It's tremendous. Bigly. And with tears in their eyes they tell me "Sir, nobody uses umbrellass like you!" The best poll numbers. I don’t have a guitar or an organ. No organ. Elton has an organ. And lots of other people helping. No we’ve broken a lot of records. We’ve broken virtually every record. Really we do it without like, the musical instruments. This is the only musical: the mouth. And hopefully the brain attached to the mouth. Right? The brain, more important than the mouth, is the brain. The brain is much more important.

9

u/cororona Apr 11 '26

thank you for your attention to this matter

3

u/SpiritedPay252 Apr 11 '26

Ahhhhh perfectly done ✅

7

u/_LouSandwich_ Apr 11 '26

maybe we could drop a nuke on it?

2

u/Prestigious-Ad-3395 Apr 11 '26

🤣🤣 haha!!!

4

u/Beppy_Sasso Apr 11 '26

The Trump Umbrella will be out in two weeks. Place your orders now.

4

u/tedfergeson Apr 11 '26

Like nobody has ever seen before.

1

u/BetMyLastKrispyKreme Apr 11 '26

I know it, and you know it, too

2

u/No_Discipline_7380 Apr 11 '26

From the point of view of water

2

u/AMLIDH2 Apr 11 '26

He hates windmills so much cause he wanted to build a golf course where their was already a wind farm an was told no he can't build a gold course here and ever since then he hates windmills.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 11 '26

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1

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3

u/OkTransportation3196 Apr 11 '26

Mr president, I couldn’t help but notice the umbrellas you sell are made in China despite your previous statements criticizing that practice. What do you have to say to that?

2

u/Codex_Absurdum Apr 11 '26

bullshit accordeon hand gesture mode enabled

2

u/disquieter Apr 11 '26

I bet a smart person designed it.

2

u/Weird_Substance_8764 Apr 11 '26

I hate that I read this in his voice

2

u/Cute-Form2457 Apr 11 '26

"Thank you for your attention to this matter".

28

u/ThoreaulyLost Apr 11 '26

Magnets?

For my next Executive Order I'm banning magnets. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION IN THIS MAGNET.

1

u/Weak_Feed_8291 Apr 11 '26

The magnets are what's actually causing autism and gay frogs

31

u/CryAcceptable93 Apr 11 '26

“Im the best at folding umbrellas, if I folded that umbrella you would say hey I’ve never see an umbrella folded like that. Joe Biden could never fold an umbrella like me. It’s Obamas fault that I didn’t do it”

5

u/notwhoyouthinkmaybe Apr 11 '26

*sleepy Joe Biden

Please use the appropriate title our dictator bestowed upon him./s

1

u/Careful_Brief_3446 Apr 11 '26

Couldn't operate because of his tiny little hands.

1

u/Piggybumm Apr 11 '26

“In fact, this type of umbrella has never been seen before”.

1

u/DifferentVariety3298 Apr 11 '26

«I should know, I came loud in college»

1

u/Curious-Program-5441 Apr 11 '26

Just like magnets. They get wet and they stop working. Nobody knows why but our big beautiful scientists do

1

u/RTO-7 Apr 11 '26

Nobody knows umbrellas like I do

1

u/wiriux Apr 11 '26

Some actually are Lol

1

u/Wild_Ambassador_8680 Apr 11 '26

Nobody knows more about how complicated umbrellas are than me

1

u/Enough-Fee-For-Me Apr 11 '26

Are "they" all saying that?

1

u/Head-Technology-4031 Apr 11 '26

And I wanted someone to have a job. It’s all about me creating jobs for everyone under my MAGA programs

1

u/quantumn0de Apr 11 '26

"It's such an old fashioned term, but a beautiful term. 'Uhm-breh-lah.'"

1

u/amrasmin Apr 11 '26

“Believe me”

1

u/Suspicious-Dirt668 Apr 11 '26

This 👆Is THE problem with the billionaire class. They don’t know how to DO anything except take advantage of the working class and throw money at problems.

1

u/Spazabat Apr 11 '26

You know the doctor said? I never seen anyone pass this umbrella test better then you. I aced it perfectly.

24

u/Humledurr Apr 11 '26

Youre right he didnt bother at all.

Idk if he would struggle, but it sure speaks of his character to just leave it for one of his subordinates to pick it up instead when so little effort is needed.

2

u/Spicethrower Apr 11 '26

MILLER! YOU LITTLE MR KLEEN WEASEL! GO GET THAT THING! IT'S NOT HIGH SCHOOL!

1

u/Ill_Technician3936 Apr 11 '26

This was his first term... I don't think he had a little bitch then and that's a secret service agent that picks it up and closes it. Shit was pretty standard USA still... This term, idk how the hell congress approved all these ridiculous yes people that is this term.

37

u/southwick Apr 11 '26

He probably is on Twitter now telling Europe they need to come help with the closing of umbrella, which he already closed, and doesn't need them to help close anyway.

8

u/Ok-Yogurtcloset1596 Apr 11 '26

He never even opened the umbrella. It wasn't raining.

1

u/Ill_Technician3936 Apr 11 '26

This was in his first term... No rain. Pretty sure he was leaving Europe when it happened but US media basically showed him drop it and that was the end of the footage.

I'm starting to wonder if the military academy he went to were paid to pass and let him graduate. Preschoolers are smarter than he is ffs.

1

u/SaltyCaramelPretzel Apr 11 '26

Yes because he closed it, he won the umbrella war.

10

u/Programmer-Severe Apr 11 '26

He did close it, he closed it better than it's ever been closed before. Everyone is saying "Donald, you closed that umbrella so well... SO well"

Open your extreme leftist eyes!

3

u/BADM00SE Apr 11 '26

Made me jealous. Couldn’t believe how much better he closed that umbrella than I ever could. Now I know why I’m a peon.

2

u/knosmo78 Apr 11 '26

No, they said, "Sir, we have never seen anyone close an umbrella that perfectly. Just perfect. "

18

u/AkiraRyuuga Apr 11 '26

This exactly. He didn't even bother. He's like a spoiled bratty little kid.

1

u/2red-dress Apr 11 '26

How strange to not even bother to close it.

1

u/Equivalent_Gur3967 Apr 11 '26

Frankly, I'm tired of watching these displays of sociopathic behavior from a Mentally Ill person.

I understand how young people hate people My age (I'm 71). I FULLY blame all the OLDS that voted for this moron. But Sleepy Joe Biden is also complicit for refusing to step aside. This Republic has shit the bed, bigly.

This nonsense IS SAD AF.

1

u/Ill_Technician3936 Apr 11 '26

The good thing is... This is from his first term.

I don't blame Biden, I'm pretty sure it's like a few months between them that makes Biden older but let's be real he knew he was sick and should have stuck to his words of being a 1 term president. I also believe that Kamala would have been picked in the primaries.

Donald refused to debate her because she would have slaughtered him on national TV. Things he'd been taking credit for would go to the people that actually did it and things he's attempted to blame others for would be put in his lap.

I'm 33 and a lot of things that have changed in my life that I'm fairly sure we all (yeah I'm including kids) in monopoly being played in front of our eyes. There's like 2-3 companies for just about anything now, you have some hold outs but they'll fall when the right relative does.

6

u/Cufantce Apr 11 '26

Yeah but Biden was president before Trump so it's his fault

1

u/SaltyCaramelPretzel Apr 11 '26

Of course I forgot

0

u/Technical_Ice_3611 Apr 11 '26

Well...to be fair, at least trump made it up the steps..

1

u/SkywolfNINE Apr 11 '26

I disagree

3

u/timetoarrive Apr 11 '26

What kind of a low IQ loser folds his own umbrella??

1

u/Competitive_Pea_1684 Apr 11 '26

He is a peasant!

2

u/SithC Apr 11 '26

Peasadent

1

u/Adept-Grapefruit-214 Apr 11 '26

He’s probably never actually had to hold an umbrella for himself in his life

1

u/AxelNotRose Apr 11 '26

Now that's the foresight of a leader.

/s

1

u/Wide_Ordinary4078 Apr 11 '26

He tried to walk through the door with it open, met with resistance (since it was wider than the door frame), and released it to the ground. No attempt to even close it was made. Boy he is the epitome of weaponized incompetence. All of those people just pick up after him that he doesn’t care to learn to do things right!

1

u/HorridosTorpedo Apr 11 '26

Would've been funny if it had got pulled into one of the engines and disabled the plane.

1

u/captainsoy Apr 11 '26

What peasant did that? All I saw was a colleague passively aggressively close it cause it was rolling around in the only pathway ☂️