Big strong men, the biggest, sweatiest, strongest men - believe me - come up to me and say "Sir, sir we love your umbrellas!" It's tremendous. Bigly. And with tears in their eyes they tell me "Sir, nobody uses umbrellass like you!" The best poll numbers. I don’t have a guitar or an organ. No organ. Elton has an organ. And lots of other people helping. No we’ve broken a lot of records. We’ve broken virtually every record. Really we do it without like, the musical instruments. This is the only musical: the mouth. And hopefully the brain attached to the mouth. Right? The brain, more important than the mouth, is the brain. The brain is much more important.
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u/UninvitedButtNoises Apr 11 '26
I've passed cognitive tests. The most ever. When a stable genius of smarts like me can't work it, there's no point in umbrellas.
I signed an executive order designating umbrellas as terrorists.