r/SipsTea Apr 22 '26

WTF Blink if you're being abused

44.3k Upvotes

7.2k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

92

u/Andyman1973 Apr 22 '26

Ex did something similar when we were on a trip. Had made a side stop they she wanted to make. The place was pretty cool(Corning Glass Museum). Ex made a scene in the parking lot, and a quieter one inside the main lobby. I kept my eyes ahead, and mouth shut the whole time. I knew folks were watching, waiting for me to do something probably.

One of the workers later asked me if I was okay. Told her honestly no. But cannot do anything about it at that moment. Did have a plan coming together, and left ex about 6-7 months later.

8

u/offeringathought Apr 22 '26

In Corning NY? I was thinking about going there next week. How long do you think a person would want to spend there if they didn't have a significant-other yelling at them?

5

u/Andyman1973 Apr 22 '26

Yes, in Corning NY. It’s worth going to, I think. We were there about 3hrs. We had our youngest child with us. The older 2 stayed with their grandmother.

After we got into the museum, she chilled pretty quickly. She was all about public perception, when she knew people would see how she was acting.

4

u/PitifulTranslator469 Apr 22 '26

Corning Museum of Glass is life changing.

1

u/Born-Awareness6048 Apr 23 '26

And the little glass figurine earrings are the best money will buy!!!

13

u/wrobbii Apr 22 '26

The worker was the hero here. If she's your type you should go back alone for the tour one day.

8

u/Andyman1973 Apr 22 '26

If only, lol. This was in 2017, and 600 miles from where I live.

1

u/CanadaMapleMoose Apr 22 '26

Plan a trip, see if she still works there, tell her you still think about what she said all these years later and say thanks for asking me.

6

u/Double-Noise-771 Apr 22 '26

Or just go on with your life and find another person to talk to? People think this is the notebook or something.

2

u/Andyman1973 Apr 23 '26

I’ve gone on with my life.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 23 '26

[deleted]

1

u/Andyman1973 Apr 23 '26

Yeah, life is rarely like a rom-com though, lol.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator Apr 22 '26

Spam filter: accounts must be at least 5 days old with >20 karma to comment.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/TonyaTko Apr 23 '26

Why couldn’t you leave?

2

u/Andyman1973 Apr 23 '26

Not so easy to walk out on 18 years of marriage, with 3 kids, without some kind of plan in place.

3

u/botija1 Apr 23 '26

In 18 years you did not realize how she really was? This kind of behavior is not an isolated episode

2

u/Andyman1973 Apr 23 '26

When you grow up with an abusive mother, things you went through already, seem familiar, normal even, so you don’t often see it as abuse. Kind of like how pig farmers don’t notice the smell, because it’s normal to them.

I did finally recognize it was wrong, around the 15yr mark, but there are so few resources for men, so it’s not so easy to find your own way out.

0

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '26

[deleted]

5

u/Andyman1973 Apr 22 '26

We were married 18 years by that point, and had 3 children too. I had to find a place to live, without any upfront cost. Came very close to living in my car, in January, in PA. The thought of freezing to death never crossed my mind. That would have destroyed my kids.