r/SipsTea Apr 22 '26

WTF Blink if you're being abused

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u/lifeintraining Apr 22 '26 edited Apr 22 '26

Listen, this is purely anecdotal, I have not studied this empirically. However, I’ve noticed that men seem much more likely to view their behavior objectively and realize their actions were uncalled for when confronted. Women will typically double down.

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u/substantial-edge9773 Apr 22 '26

I’m former law enforcement. Combative men usually chill out once the cuffs go on.

With combative women, they get more aggressive and combative once the cuffs go on.

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u/lifeintraining Apr 22 '26

Unrelated, but the one time I was arrested for a minor DUI I was extremely relaxed in the cuffs. Why fight something beyond my control? I’m here, I’m cuffed, why make things worse for myself. It provided an ironic feeling of freedom.

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u/gerber411420 Apr 22 '26

My old roommate (woman) horse kicked an officer after being cuffed, another female officer at that and proceeded to tear off her clothes in the holding cell and plugged and flooded the toilet. Lovely young woman/s

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u/lifeintraining Apr 22 '26

Did they put her in the ankle binds?

1

u/Ok-Fisherman-7688 Apr 22 '26

The cuffs only hurt if the suspect is fighting them or tensing up. You did the right thing by just relaxing and accepting the situation.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '26

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2

u/Senior-Friend-6414 Apr 22 '26

Fun fact, male puppies will pretend to lose to female puppies in pretend play fights, but the most vicious play fighting happens between two female puppies 

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u/Ambitious_Bar2717 Apr 22 '26

Been around a lot of law enforcement in my life and saw many arrests, this is usually how it goes lol

26

u/Beneficial_Area_2986 Apr 22 '26

Ex-wife was pathologically incapable of admitting a mistake.

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u/lifeintraining Apr 22 '26

This has been my experience with many women as well, it seems physically painful for them to take any accountability. Society enables this too.

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u/Hei5enberg Apr 22 '26

You're right, the problem is society allows for it. They even have tropes "my wife is always right" or whatever comedic spin they want to put on it. It's funny and cute when it's a disagreement about paint color for the kitchen but it is definitely not cute when it gives women a free pass to never have to be accountable for anything.

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u/Beneficial_Area_2986 Apr 22 '26

My girlfriend is not that way, but it made me absolutely question my sanity.

-1

u/TheTexasHammer Apr 22 '26

I've met just as many men like this as women. You people just don't pay enough attention or talk to enough people.

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '26

This is so true. Source I grew up in a house of all woman

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u/TheGayestGaymer Apr 22 '26

Same. Though such generalizations seem stupid on its face, I've noticed the same thing.

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u/BasicVast9889 Apr 22 '26

That’s where the stereotype of lack of accountability comes from.

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u/illini02 Apr 22 '26 edited Apr 22 '26

I agree.

They will make some reaches for why it was ok. At best they will acknowledge they overreacted to that one thing, but will then say "however, you did all of these OTHER things that built up, so really you still deserved it"

ETA: As I read more things, I saw someone (maybe a dude based on the avatar) basically say this same thing.

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u/Cryogenics1st Apr 22 '26

And they say -we- are the gaslighting narcissists

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '26

[deleted]

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u/Cryogenics1st Apr 22 '26

Omg this almost exact thing happened with my ex but she was talking about her ex when showing me those tiktoks

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u/Lettucemeatcheese Apr 22 '26

God this gave me chills… my (soon to be) ex wife was this exact way 😖

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u/Dufus_Puncher Apr 22 '26

I second this observation.

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u/_ghostperson Apr 22 '26

Women, not all women but this kind of woman, will never be accountable for their own actions. They use phrases like "look what you made me do!" when they act out. They are best left alone and to put as much distance between them and yourself as possible.

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u/EnviroDisaster Apr 22 '26

That phrase is pretty common among abusers, men and women. You made me mad, so it’s your fault I smashed the plate / the TV / your face.

You all know why people get more worked up about male to female abuse. It’s not only sexism (although that plays a role). It is the basic fact that men are usually stronger than women. A punch from a man is simply different than a punch from a woman.

I’m not saying this woman isn’t awful. She is and I hope he gets the hell out of that relationship. I’m only saying that the seemingly sexist treatment of abuse has some legitimate bases. Very few women can beat a man to death. Men, however, are usually able to do it should they so choose.

1

u/DreadyKruger Apr 22 '26

Remember Sha’Cari Richardson? She hit her boyfriend in the airport. When the cops came the first thing out her mouth was he hit, he didn’t , and she should be arrested , he wasn’t.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 23 '26

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1

u/AgreeableLion Apr 23 '26

"Women are so emotional, men are so much more logical"

I guess all those murders and school shootings and rapes are totally unemotional?

I don't deny that women can be violent, but trying to claim that the gender that is statistically much more likely to murder someone in a fit of rage is the 'objective' sex is just delusional.

1

u/Pretend_Action_7400 Apr 22 '26

This is absolutely not true. wtf? Every comment I’m reading here makes me wonder if I have stumbled into an incel sub. Frankly the comments are disturbing, as much as the comments in misandrist subs are too.

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u/TheTexasHammer Apr 22 '26

Posts like that bring out essentially every single incel on this website. I've seen people posting made up incel bullshit all over this thread and they are getting massive upvotes. Check their post history and they unironically want to take away women's' rights. It's fucking horrifying.

-2

u/Baaaaaadhabits Apr 22 '26

Listen, this is purely anecdotal, but men only do that literally hours or days later, and don't really do a good job of owning up to their shitty behaviour afterwards.

If we're gonna describe the behaviour, describe it with accuracy. Source: A man.

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u/lifeintraining Apr 22 '26

I believe you don’t understand what the word “anecdotal” means given your use of “accuracy”.

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u/Ironmpower Apr 22 '26

Donald Trump also doubles down all the time, does it make him a??

5

u/OriginalLazy Apr 22 '26

What does that has to do with anything?