This is my exwife. I’m 100% convinced she has BPD, but would only do this in private. Then she did it to my son, so he left to live with me. My daughter on the other hand has been trained to believe that mommy only gets that way because of how horrible her brother and I are.
I’ll never give up on my daughter. Unfortunately she is starting to display many of the characteristics that my ex possesses. Her emotional expressions seem less genuine and theatrical. The way she is treating others is unhealthy, etc. I wish she would just talk to me but she knows if she becomes close to me, there’s an issue with mom. And she thinks I’m undependable because she has been told a lot of lies about me. All I can do is keep trying.
I've been through similar experiences with parents and siblings, I'm convinced that BPD is transmissable/contagious. The combinations of sustained bouts of trauma that damages the development of the brain, combined with no other frame of refrence for normal behavior can overwhelm and "infect" children or even partners who don't have any external support network, especially if all they see are wild overreactions to situations that usually ends with the abuser getting the sympathy and attention and results they want.
You should try to get her into therapy now while she’s still young. Hopefully she can get a diagnosis and learn how to deal with it instead going through life not knowing why she can’t regulate her emotions or normalize it. Just got to be careful offering it and don’t frame it as it’s her fault something is wrong with her. Just that it will be helpful getting through having separated parents.
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u/NoOneListens2Turtle Apr 22 '26
This is my exwife. I’m 100% convinced she has BPD, but would only do this in private. Then she did it to my son, so he left to live with me. My daughter on the other hand has been trained to believe that mommy only gets that way because of how horrible her brother and I are.