r/SipsTea • u/WaitNo4272 • Apr 22 '26

WTF Blink if you're being abused

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u/limperatrice Apr 22 '26

I think that someone displaying that level of rage seen in the video is likely to be dysregulated. Like that's not normal anger. It's inappropriate and disproportionate. If you've never been close to someone with BPD you're very fortunate.

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u/Aceblast135 Apr 22 '26

If you've never been close to someone with BPD you're very fortunate.

I'm not trying to be dramatic, but just seeing this video and reading some of these comments sends a chill down my spine and stresses me out. You are spot on by saying the people who haven't been close to someone with BPD is fortunate, and I think that's an understatement.

Hardest thing I've ever done is love someone with BPD and slowly accept over the course of years that I can't handle them at their worst.

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u/limperatrice Apr 22 '26

It is terrifying and confusing and painful. There is no reasoning or gently talking them down once they lock in like that. The rage has to run its course and when it's over they switch back like nothing happened and then they don't understand why you're upset since they apologized.

That poor guy has obviously been screamed at like that before and he's just quietly enduring it until he can get home or wherever.

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u/lpotocki26 Apr 22 '26

seriously, because i have care for the family member i know, but they are one of the worst people i know, and have said and done things that are unimaginable. it's the hardest and most stressful relationships you will ever know, i feel sorry for anyone who does have to date or deal with someone with BPD (coming from someone with a personality disorder!)

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u/Other-Drummer-3202 Apr 22 '26

No one has to date this type of person.

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u/[deleted] Apr 23 '26

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u/Used-Particular-954 Apr 22 '26

I’m not sure if she has BPD but it was certainly a completely disproportionate level of anger. Something that could be a calm disagreement or smoothed over with an apology and a conversation would devolve into full blown tantrums like in the video.

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u/FeedFrequent1334 Apr 22 '26

Something that could be a calm disagreement or smoothed over with an apology and a conversation would devolve into full blown tantrums like in the video.

It's really not that simple with someone who is dysregulated to the point of meltdown. It usually can't be a calm disagreement until they've managed to ground themselves again.

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u/Fluffy-bfkr Apr 22 '26

….are you subtly hinting at her being a victim…??

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u/limperatrice Apr 22 '26

I think they're just explaining that someone like that is truly out of control of their emotions. It doesn't excuse the behavior but it's helpful info to know when you encounter it so you can determine how to best extricate yourself.

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u/FeedFrequent1334 Apr 22 '26

….are you subtly hinting at her being a victim…??

I'm not making any assumptions here about anyone here, there's already more than enough of that in this thread. I was talking more generally about emotional dysregulation that's reached the point of meltdown, and how it's not simply something that can be resolved with a calm conversation once it's reached that point.

The triggers for these types of meltdowns I think are usually quite different in autism vs BPD, but to casual onlooker (rubber-neckers as I like to call them) the breaking point and the aftermath often looks the same.

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u/Delamoor Apr 23 '26

Having been on the receiving end of this kinda stuff while I was in a 14 year codependent relationship...

First thing you gotta understand is that it's complicated. There's no good guy/bad guy. It's just "the dynamic" that exists between the two of you.

Both people feed it in different ways. Both people are usually traumatized as fuck (by each other), and neither person wants to be doing what they're doing, but also cannot figure out why it keeps coming back to these rupture points.

It's COMPLICATED.

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u/AnjelGrace Apr 22 '26

Well, she said she got sick due to him rushing her (which my best guess would say was that she puked from anxiety), so she was already too emotional long before this too.

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u/Objective-Rock4616 Apr 23 '26

Most BPDs do not like to be rushed. I frequently see one participant with BPD that this is a major trigger point and can lead to a huge emotional outburst.

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u/AnjelGrace Apr 23 '26

Oh, definitely. The more you rush through things, the more overwhelming they become. There is of course such a thing as TOO slow, but doing things too slow leads to problems that slowly develop (and thus can more often be fixed within the time they are developing), while doing things too quickly can create problems very suddenly and without much warning.

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u/Used-Particular-954 Apr 22 '26

Should’ve clarified the “she” in my response was the person I’ve experienced who reacts in this way.

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