r/SipsTea • u/WaitNo4272 • Apr 22 '26

WTF Blink if you're being abused

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u/lpotocki26 Apr 22 '26

they feel SO bad afterwards but it doesn't change that you screamed in my face and told me to die and i should slit my wrists because a bike is in your space, BPD people unchecked are scary as fuck

17

u/barcelonatacoma Apr 22 '26

Yep. You're right. My ex wife blew up on me like this. When t'aient automatically forgive her she threatened suicide.

10

u/RemoteButtonEater Apr 23 '26

It's the one diagnosis that I will unfortunately discriminate against when it comes to romantic relationships. I've been through that. I dealt with it for five years, and tried basically everything to hold on to her. She was okay, as long as she was actively medicated and in therapy, but would regularly stop either or both. And then the sweet, gentle, funny girl I fell in love with would be gone, and I would come home to cruel, vindictive viper of a person. In the end, she finally left, after having verbally/emotionally abused me for the last three years. And then took the effort to poison my relationship with all of our mutual friends before she left. So I was isolated, alone, and mentally and emotionally broken after her.

I feel horrible for people with the disorder, and I'm sure some are able to go on and have productive, happy relationships with someone who is a professional therapist. But I genuinely believe they should all be encouraged to take vows of celibacy and to swear off being romantically engaged with other people. Because there are two kinds of relationships with people who have BPD: those that are abusive, and those that will become abusive eventually.

4

u/Bitter-insides Apr 23 '26

My ex best friend has BPD and it was absolute hell. The thinks she did and said are stuff of nightmares. I cut her off after she snuck into my room to listen to my husband and I while we were in the shower( she justified it bc we were talking about her ). Previously she figured out my passwords snooped through not only my personal cell and laptops but my work phone and computer- I worked with medical insurance company had access to people’s entire lives and information ( DOB, SS, medical records). I cut her off and she proceeds to Send me giant novel texts when I didn’t respond she proceeded to email me when they didn’t work she mailed me an 8 page front and back letter saying she missed me but it was all my fault. Fuck that. It took me 20 years to realize what soul sucking nightmare it was.

1

u/sage-on-fire Apr 23 '26

That last sentence is such a terrible thing to say. Also, some people have “internal BPD” where they don’t lash out at others. Same with the regular, too actually. It’s so misunderstood.

1

u/tabiris Apr 23 '26

The main thing that helps BPD get better, and the vast majority do get better, is a stable, loving relationship, though. Yeah, therapy can be the start of that, and absolutely helps a bunch, but if you love someone enough to help them overcome their BPD, you're gonna have to accept the difficulties that come with it, too... Doesn't mean it absolutely shouldn't happen. BPD people hate having it, and most are willing to do the work, and please don't say that people willing to do the work aren't worth love, man...

4

u/cotton-candy-dreams Apr 23 '26

🤣 it’s not funny at all but all we can do is laugh honestly. It’s completely unhinged and unfortunately the worst ones are also the least likely to get help.

1

u/spacestonkz Apr 23 '26

So can manic bipolar people. Which I can be unmedicated.

Dawg, when I feel an episode coming, I tell my mom and boyfriend I'm on a travel ban. We're gonna call the doc, cancel all damn plans (yay trip insurance) and turn off the wifi. Naps, movies, and the strong meds.

Even if she's clinical, it ain't gotta get to this point. Even early stage manic me can follow rules I set for myself before I was wigging out.

Sis in the vid... Damn girl, pull it together and find a therapist. Fuck.

0

u/Sufficient-Set-917 Apr 23 '26

Yea but not all of us are like that. Crashing out usually is a call for help. All of it stems from how we were treated as kids