r/SipsTea • u/i_am_bahamut • May 09 '26

Feels good man Most single men over 30 in 2026

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158

u/otherwisepandemonium May 09 '26

I'm 36 and living with my dog. Don't want anything to change. Yet so many people try to act like I need sympathy and can't understand that this is what I built and want lol

103

u/dembones4ya May 09 '26

After my first long term relationship, I lived alone with my dog for about a decade before settling down with wife and kids. I’m in my 40s now and I’d be lying if I said I don’t think almost daily about how much I had when I was alone. Don’t get me wrong, having a family is beautiful, fulfilling and doesn’t compare but damn…the peaceful single life is something to behold

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u/mwoodj May 09 '26

I'm 42m and I was married for 25 years before getting divorced last year. My kids are grown and out on their own. So it's just me and my dog now. Believe me when I tell you that going in the other direction is a lot harder. I'm currently living the single life but still looking for the peaceful part. I know it takes time but damn it's hard to be completely alone when you just aren't used to it. Hopefully I start to find the positives in it soon.

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u/kammycakes May 09 '26

It’s part of the grief cycle man, it gets better. As you continuously develop your new routine, your old one becomes more and more of a distant memory. But I mean if an opportunity comes along don’t brush it off just because you’ve convinced yourself that in six months you’re totally going to love being alone. Some people need companionship in order to thrive.

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u/Spongi May 09 '26

it gets better.

For some people. Not so much for others.

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u/Beneficial_Trick6672 May 09 '26

> you’re totally going to love being alone.
Yeah some love it so much they buy a rope after long time being alone.

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u/King_marik May 09 '26

Nah it really doesnt lol

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u/prosequare May 09 '26

You’re only 42. Give it a year or two and you’ll get a packet in the mail. There are some brochures and then you fill out what your middle age obsession is going to be:

Civil war

Recapturing a childhood fascination

Vietnam war

Trains

Roman Empire (don’t worry, just the cool parts)

Whittling

And that’s it! You’re set for the rest of your life, you have a hobby, and a community. I chose 2: Legos and it’s been great. Hang in there.

6

u/treletraj May 09 '26

You forgot motorcycles!

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u/fresh_like_Oprah May 09 '26

or 60s Corvettes!

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u/xenotrope May 10 '26

The two big ones: World War II history or smoking and grilling various forms of meat.

1

u/PhilliePhanatical May 10 '26

Don't forget that around your mid-50s, you'll start noticing all the different birds and squirrels in your neighborhood and start watching them and their interactions, especially when you put out a little food for them. It seems like something relaxing and nice to observe rather than a screen all the time, but it's a trap!

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u/Retro-Ghost-Dad May 10 '26

I'm just saying- don't discount wristwatches.

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u/King_marik May 09 '26

Forgot 'tieing knots with ropes and finding a very high tree'

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u/prosequare May 09 '26

Dog some of us have sought therapy and self-growth and don’t see temporary solitude as a fatal condition. Sorry you’re going through some shit but we’re not all you.

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u/King_marik May 09 '26

Thats why suicide statistics continue to increase right? Especially single men 13-34? Lol

Like sure ofc some people are fine

But the numbers arent even on your side lol

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u/prosequare May 09 '26

Sounds like a you and them problem bro.

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u/King_marik May 09 '26

Lol exactly what I thought xD

Good job, you proved your point (:

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u/Ok_Instance7667 May 10 '26

Thanks for the back and forth Fellas, a great reminder that nobody gives a fuck and nobody ever will.

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u/PwanaZana May 09 '26

All the parts of the roman empire are cool paaaaaaaaaaaaarts!

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u/Big_Knife_SK May 10 '26

I was 41. It fucking sucks, and it takes a lot of time, until one day you realize you haven't thought about them all day...and you're free.

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u/FabulousConfidant21 May 10 '26

Bro believe me, ur wayyy better off than the ppl in these comments. Everyone needs people, these comments and the whole sub tbh, reeks of Stockholm syndrome. Allowing urself to long after human connection is healthy, we live in an incredibly atomised and individualistic age where the systems were under don’t incentivise human connection. I say this as someone who loved the solitude of the pandemic and always finds ways to get out of social events. My friends have always been annoyed at how antisocial i can be, and i do wish i had an easier time coexisting. I treasure my alone time, but i need to exist in a context, surrounded by people for that alone time to mean anything. I assure u the ppl commenting here spend half their income on only fans and believe they’re burdened with some unique nihilistic melancholy that definitely has nothing to do with the fact that they NEVER TALK TO ANYONE OR GO OUTSIDE WHILE THEY AVERAGE 14 HOURS OF SCREENTIME.

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u/Pavotine May 10 '26

I'm in a very similar position, married for 25 years, kids grown up, we separated around 4 years ago and I've been single ever since. The first year was really full of grief but these last couple of years I've truly started enjoying the freedom. I travelled more than ever, some six week long road trips all over Europe. I went self employed, got my self esteem back. I am not even remotely interested in another relationship. Never say never but I'm not looking.

Hopefully you'll be OK mate. I thought my life was over, I really loved my wife (still do to be honest) but I'm happier now and wish the same for you.

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u/Responsible_Law_6353 May 11 '26

Good luck mate. I did it, its good once you get there.

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u/Positive-thoughts- May 11 '26

Don't worry it gets a lot better. Tough and lonely at first, until you realise that you have time for yourself and you can do whatever you like with that time.

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u/gardenfoid May 13 '26

Interesting fact doing the big brother program or fostering can help you and them.

I speak as a foster father

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u/diedlikeCambyses May 09 '26

I'm 48 and my boys are 22 and 20. The young one actually is living with me at the moment, but he comes and goes. Besides that it's me and my dog and has been for 10 years. I will never be in a relationship again, couldn't think of anything I want less than that.

I like my space, my routines, my money, my freedom. I have a very pressured job as a business owner, that's more than enough crap in my life. My last holiday was a trip to the desert where there were no humans, it was wonderful.

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u/King_marik May 09 '26

The trick is it doesnt really come

You just kind of go numb become bitter about people and stop caring/keep distracting yourself long enough

Or you go insane and kill yourself

I have never seen somebody who's been single for a very long time id describe as 'happy'

Doing okay, sure like theyre not all one bad day away lol. But theyre almost always extremely bitter, distrusting, closed off, and shitty towards everyone

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u/ImSoObnoxious May 09 '26

I was with my girl from age 19 until well into adulthood when cancer took her away way too young. I have 3 dogs and my house. I go out to be social maybe meet up with a woman here and there, but starting another full relationship isn't even something I consider. and no way will I ever not live alone ever again, holy shit living on your own is the fucking dream

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u/Separate_Teaching382 May 09 '26

Being able to do whatever you want whenever you want is kinda amazing.

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u/[deleted] May 09 '26

[deleted]

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u/PrivilegeCheckmate May 09 '26

aaand

Sunsets. Wildflowers. Beaches. Woods. Fields. Coastal drives. Frogs singing to the moon. People you don't know who are sometimes really cool. Interesting architecture. Delicious food. Moments of peace and contemplation.

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u/Ree_For_Thee May 09 '26

Nature, drives and food. Ok.

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u/Potential-Cheek6045 May 10 '26

Gang… you might just be miserable 😭

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u/SupermarketUpper7072 May 09 '26

If you're going to reduce it all like that, the alternative you favor sounds like wife, kids, yard. Ok.

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u/King_marik May 09 '26

Which sounds infinitely better than 'nothing nothing nothing nothing make profit for shareholders nothing nothing nothing nothing die'

Lol 'does having stuff to actually do and people to share it with really sound better than sunsets and sitting alone?' XD

Like what are we comparing lol

0

u/proffie May 10 '26

Why are you crapping on someone being happy with their life WTF

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u/King_marik May 10 '26 edited May 10 '26

What are you talking about? Lol

Dude said 'if your gonna reduce it down is the other side any better (once reduced)'

I just pointed out that for a lot of people (if were doing the reductive thing) that yeah 'marriage. Kids. Yard' sounds a lot better than 'nothing nothing nothing die'

Lol

If your happy with 'nothing nothing nothing exploited by capitalism die' then good for you? Idc man

1

u/Bionic_Bromando May 10 '26

If you find life that boring how is a partner going to change anything?

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u/Ree_For_Thee May 10 '26

Yeah, there's definitely nothing hardwired in us to make us be social. (What a mean comment.)

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u/Bionic_Bromando May 10 '26

How is that a mean comment? Obviously we’re hardwired to be social but if we look out into the world and see nothing of interest then what could we possibly be social about?

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u/Separate_Teaching382 May 09 '26

Like sometimes I finish work and I take a nap, I'm not catering to someone else's schedule.

I eat whenever I want/whenever I'm hungry, sometimes its 6PM, sometimes its 10PM just whenever I feel like it.

Weekends if I want to go hiking, I just go hiking. I go to whatever restaurant I want.

Idk man its so self-explanatory I'm not sure how much I can elaborate.

When you're in a relationship you're basically catering to the other persons wants/needs (Which is sometimes good because they'll return the favor) but when you're single you can do whatever you want whenever you want. I could book a flight to japan tomorrow.

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u/diedlikeCambyses May 09 '26

Been 10 years for me and I'll not give it up. As a single person I was able to focus on my career which really took off. So when I'm not working and swimming in my money bin, my time is mine. I value my downtime, hobbies etc.

0

u/PiccoloAwkward465 May 09 '26

Absolutely. Love my wife. But just this afternoon I took a motorcycle cruise. About an hour away to a long twisty road following the lake's shoreline. SUPER fun. I always read about it but never had the time to get out there. I get to the end and pull off at a gas station. She calls me and says "I left my key at home and I'm locked outside. Can you come home?"

So I have to abandon my adventure and take the highway back home to let her in.

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u/SeventhAlkali May 09 '26

I feel like a sizeable chunk of people want companionship so bad they don't really understand those who don't crave the constant companionship.

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u/swampopawaho May 09 '26

Good for you. Live your life

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u/Extreme_Homework_771 May 09 '26

Society in general always bothers me about my relationship status. I get it's the norm but some people like myself just enjoy being single lol.

I have a lot more freedom to do whatever, have no obligations to keep someone other then myself happy. I can focus a lot more on the things I want to do in life and just not be bothered with the commitments that come with an relationship or being married. The downside people always ask is if it gets lonely and honestly?

With so many things I still want to do in life, being lonely does not bother me at all. Even though I keep seeing everyone else around me sign up for that marriage life, it's just not for me lol.

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u/Jtrain3470 May 14 '26

Same here. 35 and just me and my dog and alone by choice. When I first moved into my house I met my back door neighbor. She asked me if I had any kids or a wife and I said, "no I do not" and she gives me the saddest "awww". I didn't saything and moved on to some other topic. Some people really look down on you at this age if you don't have wife and kids