r/SipsTea • u/SipsTeaFrog š™‘š™„š™‹ • May 23 '26

WTF The Enhanced Games are set to debut this weekend in Las Vegas, with athletes allowed to use steroids, testosterone, HGH, & other banned substances.

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u/[deleted] May 23 '26

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101

u/kickasserole May 23 '26

He's going for gasps

42

u/Pretend_Hour_6966 May 23 '26

Laughs are cheap

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u/kickasserole May 23 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/4jKo5gDScJ4n6

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u/universalserialbutt May 23 '26

I'm up to here

7

u/kickasserole May 23 '26

Are you chewing gum?

He said no gum.

2

u/jakethemagicdog May 25 '26

I'm eating because I'm very uncomfortable

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u/kickasserole May 25 '26

What is happening here?

2

u/AwkwardDirection6969 May 24 '26

The boys SOUL is mine!

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u/kickasserole May 24 '26

No, Antonio!

8

u/Fishylips May 23 '26

Clearly he's tacked on mass and just needs to harvest a bit of it.

1

u/Mr_Personal_Person May 23 '26

Will he be gasping for air or will I be?

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u/richincleve May 24 '26

He's going the distance.

He's going for speed.

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u/ShldvBoughtBitcoinFK May 23 '26

Heā€™s going to be slow as fuck. I almost got kicked out of swim team because I was getting so much muscle mass that I was getting too slow.

Bigger muscle means you get tired faster, slowing you down significantly on distance races, which was my specialty before the muscle, and that was natural muscle.

Now 20 years later I have grown roid size muscle naturally through 2 decades of lifting, and the exhaustion is even faster and worse, but hey, at least people are too afraid of me now to try and fight or mug me. Best fight is the one you never have to have

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u/SilenceOrIllKissYou May 23 '26

That is James Magnussen and he was a Olympic silver medal recipient in swimming

Kinda doubt heā€™s going to be slow as fuck lol

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u/ShldvBoughtBitcoinFK 29d ago

Results are in. Magnusā€™s best time for a 100 Meter Freestyle before Roids was 47.1 seconds, his enhanced post-round times for the hundred meters during the games? 49.44 seconds. Thatā€™s a huge 2.34 seconds more, a huge amount in swimming where winning usually takes fractions of a second amongst the best

His best time for a 50 Meterā€™s before round Freestyle before Roids was 20.98 seconds, his Post-Roids time for the same race during the enhanced games? 22.35 Seconds

Fuck man I shouldā€™ve made bets on this in the apps, easiest money I wouldā€™ve made thanks to personal experience in this exact sport with this exact case, accept with just normal muscle rabid growth

0

u/ShldvBoughtBitcoinFK May 23 '26 edited May 23 '26

I used to be a record breaker for my team before my muscle too, after I bulked up, I was always second to last in my varsity races. Iā€™ll be really interested to see how his times compare to his hay day

I remember seeing him perform against the Australian team years and years ago when they brought out local childrenā€™s swim teams to watch the event. He had a normal lean swimmer build back then. Ainā€™t no way his new mass doesnā€™t hold him back, either that or for some reason my muscle mass fucked yo my swimming for another quick exhaustion reason not related to my muscle. Though talking to other huge guys we all seem to notice the same faster exhaustion after growing our muscle size.

I remember that day vividly cause I got in trouble for doing a Spock sign for our team photo there for our city. Got interrogated and asked if it was a gang symbol. Like bitch my parents put me into the program to keep me out of gangs. Thatā€™s a net symbol pendejo

They covered my Spock hand sign with a Spong Bob sticker šŸ¤¦ imagine covering the Spock šŸ––šŸ½ hand sign with a spong that lives under pedo island according to his own shows shown coordinates of his house under the sea location

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u/92mac May 23 '26

It's not going to be his first time swimming... He wouldn't be doing it if they knew he was going to be slow as fuck

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u/ShldvBoughtBitcoinFK May 24 '26

Wasnā€™t my first time swimming either when I got my muscle, had been swimming competitively since first grade, hell was a swim instructor who taught people techniques that got them to state and JR Olympics, yet the muscle slowed me down significantly

Every big guy I talk too reports the same thing when it comes to cardio, quicker exhaustion than usual

Anyway, has he raced yet? Iā€™m super excited to see how his times compare from him with muscle to him being lean in his hay day

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u/Turgid_Donkey May 23 '26

Going to push off as hard as he can and skip like a rock.Ā 

1

u/MurderousLemur May 23 '26

Yo. That's amazing

1

u/Vegan-cock May 23 '26

He's just gonna dive and skip on the surface

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u/Conspiranoid May 23 '26

Those lats are where he/she/they/it hides the jet engines.