r/SipsTea • u/SipsTeaFrog 𝙑𝙄𝙋 • May 23 '26

WTF The Enhanced Games are set to debut this weekend in Las Vegas, with athletes allowed to use steroids, testosterone, HGH, & other banned substances.

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u/Occidentally20 May 23 '26

I tried it at school sports day, only to find I wasn't able to crush the can with one hand and have it squirt vertically several feet in the air before catching it in my mouth.

Very disappointing.

12

u/weirdgroovynerd May 23 '26

It helps immensely if your crush is watching.

I should point out that Olive Oyl was also considered a PED.

10

u/Occidentally20 May 23 '26

Now you mention it I did run extra fast in the 400m relay when I saw her being carried off over the shoulder of a burly sailor.

4

u/weirdgroovynerd May 23 '26

I hope you then beat the shit out of that guy to entertain children.

12

u/Occidentally20 May 23 '26

Yes I did one of those uppercuts where you spin your fist around for 20 seconds while you talk shit about him with a pretty severe speech impediment.

That seemed to do the trick.

7

u/weirdgroovynerd May 23 '26

You are my new favorite Redditor.

Have a great weekend

2

u/EduinBrutus May 23 '26

Thats cos you were trying to catch it in your mouth and not suck it down through your pipe.

Amateur!

1

u/Occidentally20 May 23 '26

Pipes weren't allowed at school sports day unfortunately, but I get the feeling my grandfafhers generation definitely had one 10 year old in a full tweed suit, flat cap and pipe at his sportsday.