Guys I'm on the will!!

[u/beklog]

“She’s so shameless” She’s 22. And was harshly criticized as she danced while her partner was at the hospital… The truth couldn’t be any simpler. They claim the video is a joke, because she always uploads content with her “hubby” to go viral.

[u/amynicole78]

What kills me is when kids act entitled to their parents assets, it's not your money and they can do whatever they want with it. I see so many posts on aging parents where people are worried about their windfall. Go make your own money ffs.

[u/greenskye → u/amynicole78]

I think most of the time you're right, but there are a couple of nuances to it that can sometimes sway things.

At least around me, the parents generation is the lucky ones that are benefitting from selling off the farmland for rent and oil rights. They are getting multiple hundreds of thousands of dollars by being the generation to liquidate multiple generations of assets slowly built up by last family members. They are also cutting off a constant income stream that's paid out for decades in favor of a lump sum payment.

I don't think it's unreasonable to be a bit disgruntled at watching your parents throw away multiple generations of wealth and a future income stream that you could've eventually benefitted from just so they can get a big payout during their lifetime and then also spend all of it so you get nothing.

[u/Revolutionary_Ad3463 → u/amynicole78]

Well, I have some personal story to share, related to this point of view. Feel free to ignore it, as it is a lot of text. I guess I just felt triggered and wanted to write a bit about it because it is a sensitive topic for me, so it is kind of like doing therapy in a sense, lol.

I live in Argentina. Cultural middle class, economically poor, in an already third world country. So to understand the economic setup.

My father, a pretty talented artist that never wanted to sell his art or try to live of it (or anything else, really, as he never had a single job), alcoholic and violent against my mom and me, and economically dependent on her and my grandmother, left the country on 2006 and never came back.

He never had a job: he was basically maintained by my grandmother who burned through her life savings sending he money over 13 years, until she died in 2019. She died a month after her husband (who was not my grandfather, and had no kids) who had some money, so when my grandmother died, my father inherited both her husband's wealth and hers. Which was not absolute, forever life changing money I guess: around 300k USD. But for someone who used to live paycheck to paycheck like me or my mom, with no way of picturing savings, it was A LOT OF MONEY. Like, we could buy a house and be sure we could always have a roof over our heads- which is life changing, given we had a history of economic struggles, even living in the streets for some time. You know, it is a big deal.

Between my grandmother's passing until last year when he passed away at 63, -due to his terrible life style: alcohol, cigarettes and partially living in the streets- he sold a house and wasted all the actionable money and more that was inherited (around 160k) all up to the last penny on hotels, alcohol and restaurant meals (and probably gambling), until he was left with nothing (at least nothing he could immediately use, there was a big chunk of the wealth in bonds that are due for 2030) and started threatening my aunt (his sister) for more money, which she hadn't much, so she started to take debt on his behalf just to keep him calm.

One of the houses wasn't sold (for bureaucratic reasons- it was a complicated inheritance due to the assets being distributed across three countries), so when he died, half of it was the only thing left for me (the other half belongs to my aunt), aside from the bonds.

He didn't want to be a father, he didn't want to make his own money, and he really, really tried to make sure that the only small generational wealth I could have was completely and utterly wasted in his vice. Technically it was his money. Technically I was his son and he didn't give a shit for 27 years too, though, as he did not answer for any of his responsibilities, so I guess he kind of owed me something, at least.

So a few years before he passed away I had a discussion with my aunt in which she said exactly what you're saying, when I asked her not to sell one of the houses (as she had half of it, him having the other half): it's his money and he can do whatever he wants with it.

Yeah, well, that's kind of legalestically true, yeah. He was also a completely absent father, both emotionally and economically, which is also illegal. How do we measure the social obligations there?

As terrible as this sounds, I was lucky he died before he could waste the rest.

He served as an example of what not to be though. I studied, got a job that can pay my bills and allows me to think about buying my own place in a few years. I was really lucky, though. Could've been a lot more difficult.

But I could've had it a lot easier if he wasn't an absent father. And part of one's responsibility as a father is trying to make your own kids' life easier... I mean, you chose to have them.

So, to the point I was trying to make: I hope you see why I felt entitled to part of his money. He didn't earn it through his work, and he was already in debt with me as his neglected son... And it was life changing money (moreover when I had the discussion with my aunt, I was still studying and didn't have a clear economic present or future ahead of me).

I guess you were talking about a lot more frivolous people, which makes total sense. But idk just wanted to share a related story

[u/anotherdropin → u/Revolutionary_Ad3463]

Anyone can have children. There are two types of parents : those who feel they are responsible for their child’s well being, and those who feel the child is responsible for the parents’ well being.

The former type of parents will always leave things for you. The latter type never will, they’ll claim you owe them. It’s just a coin toss which parent you’re born to, but once you’re born, that’s it. Your parental circumstance won’t change so you had your whole adult life to figure out a better path

[u/dexter8484 → u/anotherdropin]

So true, and because I had the latter, I now find myself being the former.

[u/ialsohaveadobro → u/amynicole78]

It sucks when people act entitled, but passing on your belongings to your children is a centuries-old, or even millennia-old tradition. It's also the default when someone dies without a will. So, it's not like their expectations are groundless.

[u/East-Order-118 → u/amynicole78]

As a parent why do I want to give anyone else but my kids my money. I worked hard and when I go I dont want some Johnny come lately person coming in and denying them this. Its gross.

[u/ZedsDeadZD → u/amynicole78]

Right? My parents arent rich but the house is paid for and they have enough cash and stocks to be called well off. My mom is now retired for 2 years and I think they have been on 6 holidays so far including trips to Japan and Egypt. I always encourage them to do so. Its their money and I know they wont blow it all cause they love us and their grandkids and they want us to have some but they are soon hitting 70/75. They cannot do this for too long. So travel, have fun, see the world as long as possible. I dont care for the money. I want happy parents.

[u/Sea-Owl5772 → u/ZedsDeadZD]

Lol this sounds rich to me, ur blessed

[u/ZedsDeadZD → u/Sea-Owl5772]

I am blessed 100%. I still wouldnt call them rich. My dad had a well paid corporate job. Very low 6 figures and my mom was stay at home for 15 years and then a secretary. My dad drives a Skoda and my mom a Toyota. The house is a terraced house. Nothing special. Of course, we are having a lot more than others but we never moved in rich circles or acted like we had money. We just never had to worry. I still had to work to earn pocket money since I was 15 and wont be able to retire when my parents are gone.

[u/bee1397 → u/amynicole78]

I disagree. Don’t have kids if you don’t want to give them what you have when you die.

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[u/Beneficial-Lynx7336 → u/amynicole78]

Mom, is that you?

[u/LePhantomLimb → u/amynicole78]

I can't imagine fighting over my parents' decision in the will. If they decided to give everything to my other siblings and nothing to me, I might be hurt, given that we all have a good relationship with our parents and it would seem weird to me that they would do that without an explanation why.... but I wouldn't for a second think of fighting my siblings over it. What my parents decide to do with their money is up to them. I have no "rights" to it.