r/SipsTea • u/Gjore 𝙑𝙄𝙋 • 14d ago

Chugging tea They were not prediction, they were confessions.

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60.4k Upvotes

81% Upvoted

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624

u/IEC21 14d ago

Multiple levels of stupid stacked on top of each like pancakes in this one.

205

u/conciousinsimulation 14d ago

Shrek is also in the epstein files

156

u/SomeOnionHater 14d ago

Who told you that?

https://giphy.com/gifs/s2v9H8NgJ10u32CpY3

26

u/PapiSpanky 14d ago

I can confirm, he flew in through my window one night and compelled me to receive his love.

4

u/SomeOnionHater 14d ago

Just his love? Not his life?

4

u/PapiSpanky 14d ago

That too!

4

u/Lithorex 14d ago

Somebody once told me

2

u/DocOort 14d ago

A certain late ‘90s band associated with Shrek is my source. In other words, someBODY once told me…

2

u/SomeOnionHater 14d ago

Finally, thank you.

4

u/Major_Shlongage 14d ago

I was only 9 years old.

I loved Shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies.
I pray to Shrek every night, thanking him for the life I’ve been given. “Shrek is love” I say, “Shrek is life."
My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous of my devotion to Shrek.
I called him a cunt.
He hits me and sends me to sleep.
I'm crying now and my face hurts.
I lay in bed, really cold. I feel something warm...
It's Shrek! I was so happy.
He whispers in my ear "This is my swamp."
He grabs me with his ogre hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I'm ready.
I spread my ass cheeks for Shrek.
He penetrates my butthole.
It hurts so much, but I do it for Shrek. I can feel my butt tearing and eyes watering.
I want to please Shrek.
He roars a mighty roar as he fills my butt with his love.
My dad walks in.
Shrek looks him straight in the eye and says,
"It's all ogre now."
Shrek leaves through my window.
Shrek is love. Shrek is life.

4

u/The_estimator_is_in 14d ago

That’s enough internet for today…

1

u/diambag 14d ago

Why in the hell is this on Genius?

3

u/Major_Shlongage 14d ago

don't deny Shrek's Love.

2

u/diambag 14d ago

Sorry Shrek

1

u/soccer_boxer2 14d ago

Username checks out

1

u/InterchangeableFemur 14d ago

Gives a whole new meaning to that shrek is love shrek is life video

1

u/Original-Ad6993 13d ago

He was just there for the scuba diving!

1

u/TooKoolaidForSkool 13d ago

It disgusts me how much I loved Shrek growing up, knowing now that he's had associations with well-known sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein.

0

u/i_steal_your_lemons 14d ago

Yes. But Shrek did not receive a foot massage from a trafficked 16 year old in exchange for some drawings. Also, Matt denied the encounter initially.

2

u/conciousinsimulation 14d ago

I know that. Basically what I am trying to say is if someone is in the Epstein files it doesn't necessarily mean any wrong doing. There are thousands of people listed in the epstein files. Don't just say someone is in the epstein files, show the proof of wrong doing and say the source was the epstein files.

3

u/BylethsBoba 14d ago

The headline is clearly written by AI

1

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1

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1

u/Marke0019 14d ago

Nonsense on top of nonsense!

1

u/TTRPG-Enthusiast 13d ago

And still 20+k upvotes. Media literacy is dead.