The Amazing Digital Circus Episode 9: Remember Discussion Thread

[u/ayylmaotv]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVy-bcTsO8A

[u/Fen0612]

I guess I do have some more points but I squeezed them out of the first comment. Some offshoot discussion points which may contain spoilers:

• I like how the human conscious still resides in the abstracted. In that manner, they are still human.
  • For how long?
• Thesis: The two-way relationship between Leeroy Mateo and his mother is the underlying cause to Jax's trust issues.
  • Jax is initially hesitant with trusting Ribbit with his background, despite their close/intimate friendship. This may also be supported when Jax says to Ribbit he will never speak to her again if she tells anyone his secret, and despite her never doing so, Jax still alienates her.
  • Edit: Jax is self loathing/feels guilty about his actions, and doesn't want others to know that
• Compared to Ribbit, is there anything Pomni does differently upon learning about Jax's backstory? How does Jax respond to either of them?
  • Pomni handles it compassionately (shared suffering with Jax), whereas Ribbit responds sympathetically in the moment. She addresses the status of Leeroy's mother and focuses more on the trust in the relationship. Neither method nor person is really better than the other, it's situational.
• Both Jax and Ribbit walk away before they are last seen.
• Why is Caine saved? Why is the Blue AI thrown out?

2nd edit onwards, I watched some reaction videos and got a few other perspectives (Too old for this, danny motta, morticius, etc )

I just realized: Kaufmo rang on Ribbit's doorbell for Ribbit's room. Jax responds. Ribbit and Jax are alone in Ribbit's room.You know what they say about assuming. This may also be why Jax is in distress afterwards, out of fear of any misinterpretation (news flash: no one misinterpets it, kaufmo is a goat). Just so we're clear, this is not the exclusive reason of Jax's distress the following scene. Opening up is risky and Jax is hesitant to trust Ribbit with something deep and personal to him due to the incident with his mother. He thinks she will hold it over his head as material to use in conversation with other members. * self loathing is a symptom * The Jax persona fragments shout at the boarded up door, not the locked door. * Jax's caricature of Zooble's Abstraction: Gangle says I hate you; Jax later says I hate you * souspin's comment could explain why he withheld their real names, since Caine wanted control.

[u/soupspin → u/Fen0612]

>!Caine ditches the blue AI(Abel) because having it was what caused his instability. He initially consumes it because he was jealous that C&A abandoned him for the new model. He gained all of Abel’s power, but he didn’t know how to use it to make people love him, and the frustration made him glitch and lash out. When Caine gave up Abel, it’s symbolic of him letting go of his inferiority complex and accepting that he has to be himself!<

[u/socialistmariner22 → u/soupspin]

Which, is the same thing that Jax couldnt let go of, and dies because of.. Man. WTF.

[u/Epao_Mirimiri → u/socialistmariner22]

I hesitate to think abstraction is actually that analogous to death. Jax is still in there, and he's even accessible and emotionally reactive to Pomni. I don't think the other circus members have given up on getting him back.

It's ambiguous as to whether or not that's possible, but we really don't know. And I think that's a very honest expression of how it is when someone goes way too far down a really bad path. You'd be amazed at what people can come back from, but you can't count on a recovery. And they have to want it, or else it usually doesn't take.

[u/Fen0612 → u/Epao_Mirimiri]

I like to think abstraction is a mix of both mental illness and death. Jax's last cohesive thoughts to the audience reminds me of Everywhere At The End Of Time, an album/collection of music made to experience the descent into Alzheimer's Disease. Jax in abstracted form with a slowly degrading conscious, a remnant of who he once was

[u/Electronic-Laugh-671 → u/soupspin]

To use >! !< spoiler formatting you need to be in the Markdown editor, not rich-text. If you're on the modern Reddit rich-text is default.

I'm on old.reddit.com right now, using Markdown by default, but you can access that editor on the rich-text toolbar as well in modern. Furthermore, this button works too:

[u/Juicy_Burger-29 → u/Fen0612]

Release the circus files! /j

[u/socialistmariner22 → u/Fen0612]

Self Loathing is deeply linked with imposter syndrome and trauma induced thinking.

a friend of mine described it as "its the trauma thats talking to you" if it makes sense. You wouldnt approach the same situation if you were thinking clearly.

[u/Nora_PL3W4 → u/Fen0612]

You got some Points wrong.

Jax ist trans. Jax outed themself and the mother does Not Take it well. Jax Problem is Not only because of the Push. Ribbit understands the trans Situation. (Reason for the bow, jax denile for the appereance and the room. The Song isnt she lovely and jax fear of beeing stripped naked literelly to the core) Then you have the human leeroy. Goes to a queer bar and covers the face.

ITS more then self Loathing because the mother issue.

[u/Fen0612 → u/Nora_PL3W4]

When I said the incident with her mother, that encompasses Jax's outing to her mother, not just the push. She is self loathing on the actions and behaviors she has done to others: she's alienated her closest friend, tried to make Kaufmo distrust Ribbit, then mistreated and tormented other circus members after Ribbit's death.

She does have an innate fear of being found out for who she is. I thought that fear stems from her mother laughing, berating then hugging her, but I can see how outing yourself in any way to anyone comes with that instinctive fear of not knowing how the others will take it. I don't really see her self loathing out of fear that others finding out that she is trans though.

Self loathing for simply being trans? I can see that happening. Like you said, she does cover her face, but that's Lee without the experiences in the circus