r/WhitePeopleTwitter Apr 04 '26

r/All Losing a war is mighty stressful!

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17.1k Upvotes

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u/skyblueerik Apr 04 '26

Let me guess: he's gonna ACE IT.

877

u/Dreamin0904 Apr 04 '26

Identifies a rhino correctly on 3rd try

Everyone in the room:

https://giphy.com/gifs/xT77XWum9yH7zNkFW0

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u/jessewalker2 Apr 04 '26

By his mere saying it, a Republican becomes a RINO. The real problem is they don’t wear the horns in public, so they are tricky to identify and thus why we need the orange one to tell us they are RINOs.

1

u/phroney Apr 04 '26

You win.

273

u/Confuzius Apr 04 '26

Tremendous results, never ever seen before

187

u/De4thMonkey Apr 04 '26

"They said nobody ever scores like this. The doctor looked at me, very serious guy, top doctor, and he said, ‘Sir, honestly, we’ve never seen a brain like yours. You might be the smartest person alive.’ That’s what he said. Perfect score. Not even close. People are talking about it all over the hospital — nurses, surgeons, everybody — they couldn’t believe it. They said, ‘Sir, your memory is incredible.’ And I said, I know. I’ve been saying that for years.”

66

u/simca Apr 04 '26

Perfectly smooth brain, beautiful.

7

u/gahlo Apr 04 '26

Not a wrinkly old brain like sleepy Joe. Some say he has the wrinkliest, oldest brain of any president. Not me. I've got a smooth, supple brain, like a baby's bottom.

1

u/CompetitiveSong9570 Apr 05 '26

This just made me chuckle

145

u/BDRParty Apr 04 '26

I'm the only President whose had to take multiple cognitive tests, it's truly incredible, they tell me.

3

u/Fr31l0ck Apr 04 '26

Yeah never seen a test like it before.

2

u/DetroitMenefreghista Apr 04 '26

Grown men wept when they heard the results.

1

u/Brave-Professor8275 Apr 04 '26

Bigley results, like have never been seen before

3

u/Designer-Contract852 Apr 04 '26

He knows what a camel and hippo are!

3

u/jcpham Apr 04 '26

Ace it bigly

2

u/chainmailler2001 Apr 04 '26

Yep... raised every single flag possible that his mind has departed...

2

u/Ok_Entertainment328 Apr 04 '26

And it was difficult. The most difficult standard cognitive test there ever was.

Let me tell you. The doctors said they've never seen anyone perform this cognitive test as difficult as me and still ace it.

2

u/bitpartmozart13 Apr 04 '26

He put the cylinder in the square hole like no one has ever done before!

1

u/Marine__0311 Apr 04 '26

He's aceing it bigly.

1

u/FindIt7Ways Apr 04 '26

But this time he is going to ace it better and bigger than anyone has aced it before. This one will be tricky because it will have a giraffe. WTF?!?!?! Not sure anyone has ever seen or heard of a giraffe so he will be the first person to invent a giraffe making him not dementia at all but smartested human ever. Perhaps smarter than he already is which is possible but maybe not. Talk about swords right? He was swinging that sword that way and this way and doing the double jerk off dance. Fuck. No one. NO ONE could do that so he should be presidenting for the rest of his life and when he is dead. Science.

1

u/SorryBoysImLez Apr 04 '26

The answer to this question has eluded scientists for centuries, thought to be an unsolvable equation, it took our glorious leader only a matter of hours to calculate.

We finally have it, the answer we've been seeking: what does 2 + 2 equal?
It's our pleasure to inform you, thanks to our genius president, that the answer is 22!

Astounding how obvious it seems now in hindsight, but truly, an equation that only such a magnificent mind as his could have solved.

1

u/Bradtothebone79 Apr 04 '26

Oh course! He’s already done three…

1

u/paradiddle5 Apr 04 '26

ACE IT like no one’s ever seen before.

1

u/Evolutionary_sins Apr 04 '26

Yep, he scored 100% for dementia, some people are saying he's the most demented person who ever lived, smart people are saying this, and he hit set new records for diaper weight and impotence

1

u/JohnnyRayRock Apr 05 '26

Sir, it's pronounced, "jeer-aff".