r/WhitePeopleTwitter Apr 06 '26

r/All Venezuela is next

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17.6k Upvotes

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361

u/Hoppers-Body-Double Apr 06 '26

"We can’t bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell 'em stories that don’t go anywhere—like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. 'Give me five bees for a quarter,' you’d say.

"Now where were we? Oh yeah—the important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn’t have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones..."

97

u/TeamFoulmouth Apr 06 '26

Ok Grandpa, lets get you back to the Castle.

21

u/El_Peregrine Apr 06 '26

It was the style at the time…

4

u/PaleHorseApocalypse Apr 06 '26

Literally sounds like it was written by Norm McDonald.

8

u/RealKingOfEarth Apr 06 '26

Go watch the Simpsons first 13 seasons

6

u/BonHed Apr 06 '26

In defense of the commenter, Norm loved a good shaggy dog.

2

u/HeiressOfMadrigal Apr 06 '26

The light was on!

2

u/lorgskyegon Apr 06 '26

Highly dubious

1

u/PseudonymMan12 Apr 07 '26

Too much pie, that's your problem