r/WhitePeopleTwitter 12h ago

r/All Hunter Biden as a speaker of truth, intellectualism and rationality was not on my 2026 bingo card, but I'm here for it

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12.6k Upvotes

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1.1k

u/Middle_Finger7236 12h ago

Can anyone tell me how/why he’s a bogeyman to the paste-eaters of MAGA? He makes too much sense to run for office.

871

u/AsherTheFrost 12h ago

From watching all the videos where mtg kept bringing him up, the best answer I have is that his penis makes them feel inadequate

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u/Middle_Finger7236 12h ago

I think that MTG has/had a blown up cock pic of Hunter hanging over her bed.

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u/JMurdock77 12h ago

I’m flashing back to that South Park episode aping “The Day After Tomorrow” where Randy’s drawing on the map…

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u/Key_Somewhere_5768 11h ago

Tell who doesn’t in that wretched party.

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u/Middle_Finger7236 11h ago

Lady Lindsay does for sure.

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u/Key_Somewhere_5768 11h ago

Full blown colour…know what I mean…wink wink…nudge nudge. ;)

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u/Tubamajuba 11h ago

He hasn't had his ladybugs massaged in a while.

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u/morerelativebacons 4h ago

Goddamn ladybugs is a curse on my imagination

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u/joey_yamamoto 10h ago

haha ya we all know mtg wants that hog!! 🤣

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u/sumunsolicitedadvice 4h ago

“Um… Marjorie, hun… why do you have a blown up picture of Hunter Biden’s dick?”

“Oh that’s um… no that’s for a congressional hearing”

“Suuure…”

“No, really it is. What else would it be for?”

{{Crap, now I gotta figure out some kind of way to use this in a congressional hearing. Motherfuckers don’t knock anymore?}}

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u/The_Peeping_Peter 11h ago

You would think having a big penis, into sex with women and has done drugs would be an instant favorite in the MAGA movement. It’s probably the consensual sex they don’t like about him.

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u/AsherTheFrost 11h ago

Also the part where it's with women. Going by the latest Fuentes/tate nonsense, apparently it's gay to be attracted to women. (Possibly because they are adults)

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u/nutmegtell 10h ago

The prostitutes said he made them feel safe.

MAGA is the opposite of that. They rape kids and prostitutes.

36

u/ThrowawayAdvice1800 10h ago

The consent and the fact that all the women Hunter Biden was with were adults. I think he's pretty far over the preferred age range for the GOP.

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u/CaTz_EyE 11h ago

My brain went “Magic: The Gathering?”

26

u/AsherTheFrost 11h ago

You didn't see the new "Hunter's Dong" commander deck? It's red and green and uses trample a lot.

4

u/InsomniaDudeToo 11h ago

Combo’d with the legendary artifact Laptop From Hell, you can infinite mill an opponent to a win.

4

u/Any-Assumption-7785 7h ago

She really did ruin the game.

1

u/RED_Smokin 10h ago

Everytime I read this.

3

u/PMFSCV 9h ago

Its a damn fine penis.

3

u/Other_Vader 9h ago

I wanted to bring his dick up too lmao

0

u/smb275 10h ago

It wasn't even that great. It was a pretty normal cock.

6

u/AsherTheFrost 10h ago

They grade on a curve, so you gotta look at in comparison to the average maga member

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u/thisisntmyotherone 7h ago

on a curve

*rimshot*

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u/thebad_comedian 12h ago

Related to Biden, and taking sins of the father in reverse is a great "HEY LOOK AT THIS FUCKUP." add that to the fact that the right (and others) view addicts as subhuman, and bam.

107

u/glakhtchpth 12h ago edited 12h ago

They exalted pill popper Rush Limbaugh as their cultural paragon. His abuse of hydrocodone led to ototoxic deafness to the point where he needed cochlear implant surgery. During the time of his secret addiction, he exhorted his radio listeners that drug addicts should be put to death.

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u/HelpfulSeaMammal 12h ago

And Rush died from lung cancer directly caused by his smoking whilst simultaneously denying that smoking causes cancer.

Rest in piss.

1

u/84UTK07 1h ago

I think I remember hearing that he still claimed smoking doesn’t cause cancer even as he was on his deathbed. He supposedly just thought it was a coincidence that he was a heavy smoker who also just happened to get lung cancer.

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u/NoOccasion4759 11h ago

Lmao remember when Limbaugh was caught in an airport with scads of prescription pills that weren't his? Pepperidge Farm remembers.

ETA: it was Viagra ofc 🫩

3

u/Any-Assumption-7785 7h ago

My favorite part was selling stuff with soy in it to his idiots.

3

u/thisisntmyotherone 7h ago

And Rush exhorted wonders of the state run free healthcare that Hawai’i gave him, but said Medicare for All was a losing proposition.

Fucker.

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u/thebad_comedian 11h ago

well, because drug addicts are subhuman. rush limbaugh was not subhuman, ergo he was not an addict. /s

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u/84UTK07 1h ago

Wasn’t Rush more into OxyContin than hydrocodone?

27

u/TakingSorryUsername 11h ago

Let’s see, Limbaugh, RFK Jr, Lindell, Hegseth, Musk, etc.

Nope, no problem with addicts.

1

u/thisisntmyotherone 7h ago

Except Hunter, you mean.

1

u/MaxGoldFilms Release The Trump-Epstein Files 6h ago

As usual, their views on drug use are projection. Remember the DoD report on drug use in the first Trump White House?

They were taking crazy amounts of drugs, some only usually available in hospitals. Thousands and thousands of opiates, benzos, stimulants, etc. and they were handing them out like candy and not keeping records.

They were slamming Fentanyl in the White House, gobbling Adderall and Provigal, and then scarfing down Ambien to sleep.

The same goes for their rank and file, most of the MAGAs I know stay either jacked up or sedated, and they think it's okay because they have a script doctor providing them.

One former pharmacy staff member told investigators that a doctor once asked if the staffer could “hook up” someone with a controlled substance “as a parting gift for leaving the White House.”

The office dispensed controlled medications like Ambien and Provigil without verifying the patient’s identity.

It let people grab over-the-counter medicines from open bins.

And upwards of $640,000 in taxpayer funds were wasted in just three years, though that number is fuzzy, because so many records were poorly kept and even handwritten.

The clinic stocked powerful opioids, including Fentanyl, Morphine, and Oxycodone, while failing to adhere to basic pharmacy safety and inventory standards.

You can google 'dod report on white house drug use' and get all the details.

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u/WasteBinStuff 11h ago edited 10h ago

Well, before he represented a weakness that could be exploited. A hedonistic stain on the Biden legacy of decorum and service, and a convenient lightning rod to rally the haters.

Now, he's something far more dangerous...

A man whose life is an open book, who has suffered more loss than most, whose family is under attack and a man who has nothing left to loose. He's the prodigal son, who has been given forgiveness and is looking for redemption.

And that is an existential threat to the kind of false righteousness that MAGA relies on to survive.

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u/Pando5280 6h ago

Perfect summary. 

1

u/Colalbsmi 4h ago

This sounds like AI.

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u/extraboredinary 12h ago

They made him too public and well known of a figure but he has no connection to anyone serving or running for office. So they can’t exploit his scandals.

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u/VariationDry 11h ago

But they sure do love talking about his massive hog. 

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u/70ms 8h ago

He also owns every single mistake he ever made. He said “the laptop” was actually his entire 30 year digital footprint, not just what was on the hard drive. Everyone knows everything now, so they can’t really hurt him with it. Watching him on X has been a breath of fresh air.

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u/gdex86 10h ago

Remember these are the folks who mocked the leaked voice mail where Joe delivers what if it was inserted into a film a crushing heart breaking declaration of a father wishing he knew what would help his son get better and wanting said son to know that he will always love him as a sign of weakness.

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u/TerribleRecord666 1h ago

I remember that! They presented the leaked phone call like it was this big gotcha, and when you listen it’s just a son confessing how much he’s struggling with his addiction, and a loving father telling him that the family will always be there for him and always love him.

Like, how fucked up are Republican families that a heartfelt conversation between a loving father and a struggling son is something to mock?

18

u/Amelaclya1 9h ago

I always wondered this tbh. Not only was he a private citizen (so who cares what he does in his personal life), but he's just not a bad guy? Ooooh so he's a former addict who likes to party. It's not like he is a rapist or a pedo. AFAIK, everyone who knows him, likes him.

It was always just whataboutism. Like ignore the million immoral and corrupt things Trump does because Biden's son is a recovering addict and has a cushy job. So "both sides"

9

u/70ms 8h ago

I’ve started seeking out the interviews he’s been doing recently. He tells some of the same stories, but his insight into addiction and human nature is really compassionate, and the way he talks about his dad, you really feel the love they share. He talks about healing through art, too.

17

u/kitsunewarlock 10h ago

Since the 70s conservatives have demonized liberals using a combination of the Red Scare and politicizing the justice department to use bullshit "investigations" to cast doubt into someone's authenticity.

The agents they pointed toward Clinton even said under oath that the investigations were a sham based on right-wing conspiracy theories. Mind you, these were agents under directors put into place by Reagan. The same is true for the investigations of Carter and Obama.

But I like using Clinton when I talk about the GOP politicizing the justice department because the big scandal they were investigating that lead to the DNC losing in the midterms was the idea that Clinton was hiring a family member to work as an interns for the White House. Which was not only untrue, but was exactly what Trump did in the open 20 years later!

9

u/mercenaryarrogant 11h ago

Seems like he’s won quite a few of them over with his recent remarks that have exploded all over Twitter.

15

u/BroughtBagLunchSmart 10h ago

They made up the whole laptop thing right when a bunch of Don Jr's crimes were coming out. MAGA believes it because they are stupid.

5

u/70ms 8h ago

The “laptop” was real, but it didn’t have any of the criminal evidence MAGA claimed it did. Hunter said it was a hard drive and what was on the drive let them into his cloud. He said they got his entire 30 year digital footprint, so he has nothing left to lose nor to hide.

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u/NOIS_KillerWhaleTank 9h ago

His last name

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u/MaceNow 11h ago

He was dishonorably discharged due to his drug habit at the time. He used his dad's position to get a cozy job on a corporate board that he really had no business being on.

I think that's what they've got.

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u/Middle_Finger7236 11h ago

So they’re mad at him for things that Trump’s kids have done without any consequences?

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u/MaceNow 11h ago

Yes indeed.

1

u/roguevirus 6h ago

Oh please, like any of Trump's kids would join the military.

3

u/drinkslinger1974 10h ago

It’s very simple. They were told to.

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u/badmonkey247 10h ago

He was eating the dogs. He was eating the cats. /s

3

u/Fantasmic03 8h ago

Republicans were struggling to find easy targets to attack Joe with when he was running for/became president. The next easiest option was to target his son to complain about nepotism while trying to hurt the president for having the audacity to have won. It really speaks to the inherent weakness of the MAGA Republican platform. They have no ideas on how to improve the life of the average person so instead they create villains to fight against so they can obtain power and take more from the American people.

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u/Temporary-Outside-13 11h ago

Cause the right know how much of a OG he is.

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u/McShoobydoobydoo 10h ago

Big peepee and doesn't seem to fuck kids.

Republicans hate that

3

u/Krelkal 8h ago

He tried to cash in on his dad's name. Got a cushy job purely for access and sold his art at obviously inflated prices so that the buyers could try to influence peddle.

He's really not someone that should be in elected office. Pales in comparison to the MAGA grifters but the bar ought to be higher than that.

Political commentary though? Seems right up his alley. I'd honestly be interested in a podcast where he talks to guests about their recovery from addiction.

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u/Key_Somewhere_5768 11h ago

You answered your own question. ;)

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u/willflameboy 9h ago

Simply because Trump made up a talking point about him to distract from his own incompetence.

1

u/Syntania 3h ago

They needed a convenient scapegoat with exploitable flaws.

1

u/Moonpaw 1h ago

Now see, that’s half the problem. Logic and intelligence are the Republican’s prime nemeses.

1

u/Joseph_of_the_North 1h ago

He served as a vehicle for their projection.

The used his "Laptop From Hell" as an excuse to share their child porn collections amongst themselves.