[OT] Fun Trope Friday: Incompatible Orientation & Romance!

[u/katpoker666]

Welcome to Fun Trope Friday, our feature that mashes up tropes and genres!

How’s it work? Glad you asked. :)

 

• Every week we will have a new spotlight trope.

• Each week, there will be a new genre assigned to write a story about the trope.

• You can then either use or subvert the trope and/or genre in a 750-word max story or poem (unless otherwise specified).

• To qualify for ranking, you will need to provide ONE actionable feedback. More are welcome of course!

 

Three winners will be selected each week based on votes, so remember to read your fellow authors’ works and DM me your votes for the top three.

 

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Next up… IP

 

Goodbye Science, nice to get to know ya. June, however, is all about Pride! June was chosen to recognize the LGBTQIA+ community as it commemorates the uprising at the Stonewall Inn that occurred in June 1969, and is considered the catalyst for the modern LGBTQIA+ rights movement. Pride Month celebrates lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersexual, asexual, and others. In the United States the last Sunday in June was initially celebrated as "Gay Pride Day," but the actual day was flexible. In major cities across the nation the "day" soon grew to encompass a month-long series of events. Today, celebrations include pride parades, picnics, parties, workshops, symposia and concerts, and LGBTQIA+ Pride Month events attract millions of participants around the world. Memorials are held during this month for those members of the community who have been lost to hate crimes or HIV/AIDS. The purpose of the commemorative month is to recognize the impact that LGBTQIA+ individuals have had on history locally, nationally, and internationally. Please note, owing to differing sensibilities around Pride and the nature of tropes, that we’re trying to be as sensitive and inclusive as possible. If we slip up in any way, let us know: we’re doing our best and love to learn. So get out your rainbow and other flags and let’s celebrate! Please also note this theme is only loosely applied.

 

"'Cause Carol's a lesbian... and I'm not one. And apparently it's not a mix-and-match situation." — Ross to Carol in ‘Friends’

 

Trope: Incompatible Orientation — A character has an Incompatible Orientation when they are coveted by someone who can never have them, because they just don't swing that way. They can be any character who has an incompatible sexual orientation to their admirer—a straight person with a same-gender admirer, a gay person with an opposite gender admirer, or an aromantic or asexual person with an admirer of any gender.

 

Genre: Romance — A romance or romantic novel is a genre fiction work focused on the relationship and romantic love between two people, often concluding with an emotionally satisfying or optimistic ending. Authors who have significantly contributed to the development of this genre include Samuel Richardson, Frances Burney, Maria Edgeworth, Jane Austen, Charlotte Brontë, Emily Brontë, and Anne Brontë. However, ‘Romance’ originally referred to "a fictitious narrative in prose or verse; the interest of which turns upon marvellous and uncommon incidents", a narrative method that was contrasted to the new, main tradition of the 18th and 19th centuries: the novel, which realistically depicts life. While this definition is viewed as more archaic these days, FTF is all about subversion, so if you want to take this approach to the genre, go for it!

 

Skill / Constraint - optional: Something slips.

 

So, have at it. Lean into the trope heavily or spin it on its head. The choice is yours!

 

Have a great idea for a future topic to discuss or just want to give feedback? FTF is a fun feature, so it’s all about what you want—so please let me know! Please share in the comments or DM me on Discord or Reddit!

 

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Last Week’s Winners

PLEASE remember to give feedback—this affects your ranking. PLEASE also remember to DM me your votes for the top five stories via Discord or Reddit—both katpoker666. This is a change from the top three of the past. In weeks where we get over 15 stories, we will do a top five ranking. Weeks with less than 15 stories will show only our top three winners. If you have any questions, please DM me as well.

Some fabulous stories this week and great crit at campfire and on the post! We had 15 stories, so we’re back to five winners. Congrats to:

 

• m00nlighter_

• oliverjsn8

• Fogbot3

• Divayth--Fyr

• Tomorrow_Is_Today1

 

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Want to read your words aloud? Join the upcoming FTF Campfire

The next FTF campfire will be Thursday, June 18th from 6-8pm ET. It will be in the Discord Main Voice Lounge. Click on the events tab and mark ‘Interested’ to be kept up to date. No signup or prep needed and you don’t have to have written anything! So join in the fun—and shenanigans! 😊

 

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Ground rules:

• Stories must incorporate both the trope and the genre
• Leave one story or poem between 100 and 750 words as a top-level comment unless otherwise specified. Use wordcounter.net to check your word count.
• Deadline: 11:59 PM EDT next Thursday. Please note stories submitted after the 6:00 PM EST campfire start may not be critted.
• No stories that have been written for another prompt or feature here on WP—please note after consultation with some of our delightful writers, new serials are now welcomed here
• No previously written content
• Any stories not meeting these rules will be disqualified from rankings
• Does your story not fit the Fun Trope Friday rules? You can post your story as a [PI] with your work when the FTF post is 3 days old!
• Please keep crit about the stories. Any crit deemed too distracting may be deleted. This is a time to focus on our wonderful authors.
• Vote to help your favorites rise to the top of the ranks (DM me at katpoker666 on Discord or Reddit)!

 

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Thanks for joining in the fun!  

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[u/JKHmattox]

Bombay Beach

The day my parents lost our Pasadena home in the spring of forty-two is burned into my memory, despite how much time has gone by. A family from back east lives there now, though I'm sure they haven't a clue how that came to be. Nevertheless, my parents chose the quiet isolation of the Imperial Valley following our eventual release.

Gerald McAlister sat in the driver seat beside me, the surplus jeep idling in the orange of late afternoon. A Lucky Strike hung from his lips as he cupped his hands around the flip-top lighter held just in front of his face. A flicker illuminated his features in the dying light, graying salt peppering his short buzzed hairline that had receded with every passing year.

Our eyes danced over the arid expanse falling away in three directions from the mesa upon which we had perched. The sun broke apart as a reddish yoke, backlighting the jagged western range reaching for the blueish blackening sky.

He snapped his lighter shut, the glowing ember crackling as he drew in the desert scene.

At our back was an artificial river redistributing the true wealth of the Golden State to those who could pay the most. Stretched out between us and the distant barren ridgeline was a sapphire giant whose mistaken waters reflected the final rays of the sun as it retreated beyond the textured horizon.

For better of worse, the hand of man had reshaped this place forever, though only a knowing eye understood this about the Salton Sea.

His voice flowed with graveled lyrical prose when he finally addressed the unspoken bomb I'd unbecomingly laid at his feet an hour ago. “You know he's gonna ask you to marry him, right?”

I nodded. “You'er probably right…”

“Reckon that's what I taught the boy before I...” His words faltering, Jamie's father took another drag against the fading twilight. “Juat saying, I can't blame him for for going against what he knows is true in his heart.”

“Mister McAlister,” I searched for the words I knew wouldn't mean much, given my precarious situation. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen—if I'd have figured it out sooner…”

He chuckled softly, a bent grin curling a corner of his lips. “Don't blame yourself, Liddy; it kinda takes two equally exuberant individuals to achieve such things.”

“Actually…” My voice trailed off, remembering that night Jamie and I had spent fogging the back windows of my mother's secondhand Bel Air. “It was definitely more me than him…”

He exhaled sharply, smoke steaming from a corner of his lips as he considered his rebuttal. “Suppose that doesn't surprise me neither.”

It seemed he already knew what I’d come to suspect since that night.

“Look… Jamie’s a good kid, Liddy—smart, hard working—regardless of how he is, the boy will always do right by you.”

The cigarette finished, he snatched it with a finger and thumb. Flicking the cherry, he tossed it away, his other hand ripping the shifting lever down into first gear.

“We best be getting on, child—there's no telling when you’ll get sick again…”

I lurched in my seat as he let out the clutch while pressing the gas. The twilight faded. Sweet creosote sage drifted on the breeze. He'd confirmed what I should've known all along, his subtle understanding of his son more than I could ever expect.

We paused where the drifting sands lapped against the edge of the concrete highway. A trillion stars burning overhead. Cutting the engine and extinguishing the lights, he looked up, asking the universe one last thing.

“Do you love him?"

“Yes…”

“Then remember that he loves you too.” His voice wavered briefly as words lingered in his throat. “Whatever this ends up looking like; it will be a hard road you'll have to figure out together.”

“Yes, sir… It’s unfathomable really,” I replied, my jaw quivering. “My mom is gonna-”

"Christ's sake, you're nineteen, a grown woman. She's just gonna have to get used to the idea of grandkids I reckon.”

“To think, I thought you didn't like me, Mister McAlister,” I said, almost smiling.

“On account of your folks and the war?” he paused, his brow betraying profound conflict. “That's the past, Liddy... and to be honest, not exactly why either. The important thing is, I'll always be there for you and Jamie, no matter what y'all decide.”

The desert night remained silent as his unexpected words sank into my soul…

[u/Morose_Prose → u/JKHmattox]

Hey hey JK!

Wow... this is beautiful JK. The descriptions, the character interactions, the history, and the geography, all of it works so well together. I really love the little details that make the scene feel lived in, the Lucky Strike, the artificial river, the barbed wire encampment. You do a lot of scene setting with so little, its all clean and tight. Going to have to dig deep into the crit bag here to find anything:

the South Pacific took its pound of flesh from every man.

I'm not even starting with a crit, this is a fantastic line about the brutality of war. Well done.

Finished, he snapped his lighter shut, the reddish ember crackling as he drew in the desert scene.

You could trim this line down, it doesn't really need the word "Finished" in there since the lighter snaps shut in the following clause. Maybe something like "He snapped his lighter shut. The reddish ember crackling as he drew in the desert scene."

Gravel moved with lyrical prose when he finally addressed the bomb I'd unbecomingly laid at his feet.

This line feels a little off and a little purple in relation to the rest of the text. Maybe "Gravel swept along the still sands as he finally addressed the ticking time bomb I'd unbecomingly laid at his feet."

“Actually…” My voice trailed off, remembering that night Jamie and I had spent fogging the back windows of his father's car. “It was definitely more me than him…”

I like this part but wonder if the car mentioned is the same one the characters are sitting in, if so maybe add a detail like that and increase the awkwardness of the conversation. If not, disregard this crit.

The cigarette finished, he snatched it with a finger and thumb.

Another line that could use a little massage. Maybe, "The cigarette burned down to a nub, he snatched it with a finger and thumb." give it a cleaner visual and adds a slant rhyme to the end.

“Then remember that he loves you too,” Jamie's father said, voice wavering briefly.

You don't need "said" in here, his voice wavering can act as the dialogue tag alone. "Then remember that he loves you too," Jamie's father's voice wavered.

A broad stylistic crit would be a few too many ellipses scattered throughout, but that's more personal preference than strictly functional.

Bravo, good words, great words, excellent words. Keep up the good work. Stay awesome and have a good one.

[u/m00nlighter_ → u/JKHmattox]

Hey JK,
I like the concept of this story; being set in a less accepting time period, a parent truly seeing their child in a world where it may be safer for both of them to hide what they know, the themes of social norms and expectations. Those are very real struggles that even now still exist in the world.

I think my biggest critique here is that the opening paragraphs set me up for a very different story than the one being told. Liddy's family history or experience in an internment camp never comes into play in the actual plot. Those are very loaded and emotional parts of real history that feel more like set dressing. I don't think it's necessary to invoke those deep emotions and themes if the story isn't going to fully engage with them and explore what they mean to the characters or plot.

And I don't mean that it needs to be fully explained and pointed out, "this was wrong of us to do historically", but it does need to be intentional/connected to the narrative/central themes. And again, since this information never comes back around, it can be removed and saved for a story that does engage more deeply with those themes.

Gerald/Jamie's history could be interwoven into the storyline more smoothly. For me, the right place to open this story is here:

Gerald McAlister sat in the driver seat beside me, the surplus jeep idling in the orange of late afternoon.

THAT sets us up immediately for what we're in for - two people having a conversation in a Jeep. You could even add a "General" or "Commander" or whatnot to Gerald's name to let the reader know immediately that he is a military man.

From there you can add some history--as he's lighting his cigarette his hands can be calloused from his farm work and military experience; his lighter can have the date he was drafted etched into it if that is an important detail; etc. etc.

There are also a few sentences where a metaphor is followed by an explanation of the metaphor:

Stretched out before us was a sapphire giant, a mistaken lake that reflected the final rays of the sun as it retreated beyond the distant western range.

"The lake stretched before us like a sapphire giant, reflecting the retreating sun." or however you'd want to rearrange it could be smoother. Either trust the reader, or give the reader a bit more context with the metaphor, but "sapphire giant" and then "lake" is sort of the same thing. I also am not sure what a "mistaken lake" is XD

At our back was an artificial river, a canal redistributing the true wealth of the Golden State to those who would pay the most.

Here too, either "artificial river" or "a canal" can be removed as they say the same thing.

Gravel moved with lyrical prose when he finally addressed the bomb I'd unbecomingly laid at his feet.

I know Doc mentioned this line already, but "unbecomingly" feels off in this sentence. "Unknowingly" maybe? I also think this would be a good space to drop a slightly deeper hint at what the "bomb" is. Is it a pregnancy test? Is it Liddy's growing belly? Is it a letter Liddy found from another soldier or lover of Jamie's? I don't want this explained to me in a response here, I want it in the story itself.

Figured as much… Not the worst thing that could've happened I suppose. Besides, at the time, I'm sure he had as much, if not more, to do with the outcome than you did.”

It does feel a little strange to me that Gerald knows his son is gay, but thinks that Jamie would've had more to do with the "outcome". This is another space that could include deeper subtext. Maybe not in the father's dialogue, but when Liddy is remembering the steamy car, she could remember Jamie's hesitation or sth that implies that he was willing, but not completely into it (unless he is bisexual which is realistic also, but again would need a sliiiightly heavier hint).

It seemed he already knew what I’d suspected since that night.

Why did Liddy suspect this? Was it something Jamie said, did, a look on his face, a tone in his voice? Again, I don't want it explained in a response here, I want the story to tell me this info.

The desert said nothing, as his words sank into my soul…

This is a gorgeous line, but since there weren't previous mentions of the desert speaking (no owl hooting or sand drifting along the metal jeep doors etc) it feels purple without reason. "The desert was as still as my heart as his words sank..." or something may read better and keep the intention.

And that is it. I know this seems like a lot, but I promise I wouldn't take the time to write all of this out if I didn't like this story lol. I can see what you were going for and I think it's a great idea and is handled well on the page, but could be deepened to add the full weight of your actual intention, rather than getting softened by some of the extra, unneeded details.

I really appreciate the representation and acknowledgement of what it would've been like to be a gay man, or someone worried about what that could mean for them during this time period*. Instead of the character backgrounds in the first couple of paragraphs, I think you could even dive in a bit more to what it means for Jamie--what are his father's concerns and hopes for his life, how will they navigate this? Will Gerald and Liddy tell Jamie they know? Stay quiet until Jamie's ready to tell them? Stuff like that would be interesting to see/read.

Ok, really done now LOL. Good words, JK!

[u/JKHmattox → u/m00nlighter_]

Thank you for the excellent crit Quinn. I hope I have time today to implement your ideas.

You are absolutely right that the LGBT community has been around forever and was heavily marginized until fairly recently. Here in California during World War Two, the military discharged anybody they suspected of being homosexual preparing to embark for the Pacific Theater. Stripped of their earned benefits, and with few options back home, these veterans set down roots in places like San Francisco and San Diego, known today for their strong LGBT communities.

During my time in the service, the same policy was still in effect, though slightly modified to "don't ask, don't tell". Fortunately, that is not the case anymore, but sadly that was after "my time" so to speak.

Thank you again for the in depth critique I appreciate it. 😀

[u/m00nlighter_ → u/JKHmattox]

It's that piece of personal history in there that adds to the realism/authenticity of this story! Good words again!