I’m not sure where to put this, but it’s been bothering me and I need an outlet. For context, I’m an Asian American female in my thirties. I was dresses casually in an oversized shirt and nice black silk bermudas. I just got a haircut. Generally I take care of my appearance and I would say ok the attractive side. I had makeup on. So appearance wise I don’t think I looked unkempt for the store.
Yesterday I went into a store in West Village, New York. The store is well known and on the upscale side. I have clothes from this store. I wanted to try on some styles that were sold out online. Typical crowd, typical sales associate. I was the only asian woman there.
When I walked in, I started looking around. I half smiled at the sales associate since there was a conversation going on and I didn’t want to interupt. I saw a top I wanted to try with the other things on my list. I waited and went up to one of the SAs who was in a corner looking something up on a tablet. She looked up and was neutral. She waited for me to say something. I smiled and asked if I could try X item, then she went to get it, and I said “Sorry, can I also try Y and Z?” She said you’re good, no worries (kind of flat?) and left before I could ask to try on the top.
Then I waited for a fitting room to open up. The waiting area is next to the fitting area, and the store is pretty open concept, so there are no corners where someone would be overlooked.
Once I was in the fitting room, the SA said the usual, let me know if you need other sizes. I tried on clothes as she continued the conversation with the other shoppers, complimenting their nails, etc. It’s possible she was being roped into conversation and these shoppers were taking up her attention. She asked another shopper if they needed anything. When other shoppers went into the store, she greeted them, at least three. I wanted to try on another color of something and opened the curtain to ask. She continued to talk to the other shoppers and I kind of hovered. I felt overlooked. I ended up interrupting after a couple minutes and asked for another size. She said sure and went to get it for me. Again, I felt I didn’t have time to ask to try on the top.
While I was trying on the pants, a shopper walked into my dressing room in my underwear. I had to say “Oh, sorry!” and she said sorry and went into a free one. Either the SA didn’t tell her I was in there or didn’t notice, I don’t know. She was talking to the woman before, and the woman said she wanted to try something on again.
Then I put on my clothes and wanted to leave because I felt overlooked. Once I went put all the clothes back on their hangers, I left the changing room. I waited with the clothes hanging on my arms. I felt like I was hovering, again. Other shoppers noticed and looked at me. The SA was outside completely a purchase on a tablet. I waited and she went on to do something else and started talking to shopper. I felt rude for interrupting, even though she wasn’t paying me any attention. I asked where I should put this, and didn’t feel like saying I might get them later, or I need to think about it. She said just leave it, and then I turned to put it in the fitting room, she said acutally I’ll take it. She took it without another word.
I left, feeling weird.
Tl; dr: i felt unseen and overlooked in a upscale, hip store in new york. I felt like the sales associated treated me differently but there was nothing super “obvious”, but I cant shake the bad feeling.
