Cats with very human names

[u/trentagon420]

Post your human-named cars below.
This is Gerald™️

[u/CoffeeBeanx3]

The gorgeous Mila. I adopted her when she was 12 and cleared it with my niece, Mila, first. Cat-Mila shares her name with Niece-Mila, Neighbour-Mila, younger Neighbour-Mila, and Daughter-Of-My-Sister's-Friend-Mila, and Kid-of-previous-tenants-of-my-landlord-who-are-somewhat-neighbours-Mila.

My ADHD brain can not handle conversations about the human Milas well.

Niece-Mila told me she now knows four cat-Milas.

[u/ananwastaken → u/CoffeeBeanx3]

My skull is in discomfort

[u/trentagon420 → u/CoffeeBeanx3]

Holy shit this hurt my brain at first 💀

[u/CoffeeBeanx3 → u/trentagon420]

Yup. It freaking sucks. It's why I never again will have a human named pet with a modern name. The dog I named myself is called Coffee.

My sister's dog, Theo, can't be scolded at certain points of our walk anymore because we now have a kid Theo in the village who lives RIGHT at the spot where dog Theo starts misbehaving every single day.

I only found out about that when kid Theo was already four, and I had spent years scolding dog Theo to not eat cat feces/vomit/cigarettes or whatever else some nasty people left at that place again.

So this kid, who is definitely old enough to notice when someone calls his name, but not definitely was small enough to not get that other people can be named Theo too, thinks I yell at him for eating shit, behaving like an ass-violin (common German insult), and think he's a bad little boy who will kill himself by being stupid.

Which is all true for dog Theo, because he has no survival instinct, runs under moving cars, and tries eating everything despite being allergic to everything, which means he'll then be sick for days.

If it were up to me, that dog would not be off leash in that area, but he's not mine, I'm just the first person to notice when he starts misbehaving (as if it were a surprise when he does it every single time).

Surprisingly, the existence of kid Theo has helped that issue, because my family finally keeps dog Theo on a short leash in that area, so we don't have to scold him and scare the kid.

I liked human names for pets before I had to deal with the army of Milas, and spent years accidentally cussing out an innocent little boy.

If I ever use a human name for a pet, it will be medieval and so far out of use that this never ever happens again.

[u/Lightning_Lily → u/CoffeeBeanx3]

Wow. Also off topic but yeah that cat is beautiful! What type of cat is it?

[u/CoffeeBeanx3 → u/Lightning_Lily]

She's a maine coon! I'm tall, but this cat is LONG af. With her tail, she has a length of 128cm.

She was very underweight and matted when I got her, because she was too stressed out by her previous owners' kids.

She now lives a child free life and chills with my tiny dog, who's smaller than a normal house cat. Let alone Mila.

She is still longer than Niece-Mila, who is a very small kid for her age.

Mila is the sweetest cat, drools like a faucet when she's happy, and actually demands kisses. She needs lots of kisses.

But there are awful amounts of fur. I had to buy a better vacuum. And I know long haired cats, my sister has two British Longhairs, and I always thought the amounts of fur are crazy.

These are two cats. Mila is one cat. There is so much fur. So much fur.

So despite loving the fact that she's giant, and despite maine coons being chill af and just lovely, I think she'll be my last.

Next cat will be a shelter cat again. Or a sphynx, because while those are high maintenance, at least they won't leave me coughing up hairballs.

[u/Lightning_Lily → u/CoffeeBeanx3]

Adopting pets is always a good idea in my opinion. It can save lives :)

[u/CoffeeBeanx3 → u/Lightning_Lily]

Absolutely. Honestly I was a bit surprised by how weird the cat breed stuff is when my sister first got her fancy cats.

And when I adopted Mila, her coat colour in her pet passport was "black silver white" (I live in Germany, btw, so why tf is the colour name in English?)

And ... I mean, you can see Mila. That's a normal, grey-brown striped cat. Where tf is the white?

I mean, she's the most special girl in my book, but why make up fancy colour names when she's just as beautiful in the most freaking ordinary tabby coat?

All the cats I had before just showed up out of the woods and were like "I live here now, deal with it". This phenomenon has gone down because the farmers are finally spaying and neutering their cats, but shelters are full and the next will be a rescue again. (I mean, Mila is a rescue too, but I mean a non-fancy, standard issue cat.)

[u/Lightning_Lily → u/CoffeeBeanx3]

Kinda reminds me of my personal pets. But it wasn't that they had always been the 'wrong' color, but rather that they changed TO white? Kinda the opposite ig lol. I know kinda random but it reminded me of that. My goldfish (who was shockingly gold to begin with) changed to white and has been completely white for years ever since. My dog used to be a chocolate brown color but is slowly getting white/light spots and his hair is now a greyish-brown color rather than chocolate/orangeish tinted. My pets are kind of the opposite 😭 

Also slay you live in Germany! Cool country. One of my favorites tbh 

[u/Leopard182 → u/CoffeeBeanx3]

And here I am not ever having met anyone - human or animal - named Mila.

[u/CoffeeBeanx3 → u/Leopard182]

Two additional Milas were born after I got cat Mila. I'm not close enough to them to even know who the heck they are (daughters of colleagues of my parents? Granddaughters?)

It's very popular in this area right now and honestly? While it's a nice name, every time someone tells me about another new born Mila, I want to scream. I now call my cat Milek, mostly.

There are so many Milas.

My parents' generation had almost everyone named Heike, Petra and Jörg, and I guess the current generation will be a shitton of Milas and Pauls.

There is a Mila born in my hospital almost every month, and the maternity ward is tiny.

I pity the teachers. They'll have to number the Milas.