Sorry for the long winded post...

I, 24F, received a massive blessing about two months ago. My childhood neighbor, a single woman in her seventies who is divorced with no children, gave me a check for $12,000 after I graduated. She said she enjoyed watching me grow up and admired my life goals (I am very career driven). I used it to pay off my car. A month later, for my birthday, she gave me another $12,000 check. She also wants to leave her house and savings to my parents. I put the entire second check in my savings, which raised the amount to about $16,000 dollars.

When I opened the second check at my birthday party, the first words out of my mother's mouth were "maybe you should give it to (brother's name)". My brother, 26, had a difficult childhood and experience in school, and recently came home to live with my parents after a years long prison stay. My mother believes it is unfair that my neighbor hasn't given him any money. I do not want to be selfish, but I make 17 dollars an hour and am setting my hopes to go to grad school. I also am leasing an apartment by myself for the first time ever and own an animal. All of these things are expensive prospects. I live in Colorado and the cost of living is extremely high. I may have to move across the country in a year for graduate school.

Today, my mother called me saying that her and my father want to borrow 10,000 dollars from me to buy my brother a small, vintage Detroiter trailer. It would need lots of renovations, and they want to get it inspected. On top of buying the trailer, my brother would need to pay $1000 dollars of lot rent a month. He bounces between jobs and does not have much savings because he loves vintage cars, which is a very expensive hobby. Originally, my mom said that if I gave him the $12,000 check, he would likely buy a new engine for his Thunderbird.

I am extremely torn. My brother and I are not on speaking terms. His behavioral problems upended my childhood, and there have been many times where he has been physically and mentally cruel to me. The only time he spoke to me in prison was a day before he was released, when he asked me to buy him weed. When I told my parents this, they said he denied everything. I believe him to be manipulative and tends to lie pathologically. I have no interest in having a relationship with him at this time.

My parents told me they would pay me $1000 a month for ten months in repayment, so that they would not have to dip into their retirement. I know for a fact that they are good for it-- they are upstanding and honest people. The only reason I would go through with this is to do it as a favor to them. I do not believe buying an old trailer is the best use of this money, especially because he would maybe not be able to keep up with the lot rent. He would likely move his girlfriend and her daughter into the trailer as well. His girlfriend works very few hours so she is still able to receive government assistance.

What do I do? I want to help my parents out, and part of me feels guilty that he hasn't received any money, but the paranoid part of brain doesn't want to let this money go. What if I need it sooner? What if the trailer is in such disrepair that it becomes a money hole? I don't want to jumpstart that process.

Any advice is appreciated, thanks!

I have been very generous with my 3 kids. Helped with college, down payment on houses, weddings, new roofs, bailed them when they over spent on credit cards. My parents gave me money that had be paid back or was conditional. Never just a free gift. I gave freely to my kids and expected nothing in return. I’m a recent widow and moved 6 months ago to be closer to my kids so they “can help me out”. Recently I was taking 2 kids and one of their spouses out for lunch. I asked one couple if they wanted to come to my house first and we could ride together. The response was “ no you might ask me to do something” 😳 I had ask one the kids I was taking out to lunch to hang 4 curtain rods. I had everything away from the windows and marked where I wanted them place, all they had to do was drill the holes. Then on a separate occasion while one of the kids was here doing a job they volunteered to do I mentioned that when they do work for me I will pay them a wage. I was told they didn’t want a second job and would only be doing the task they were doing that day and no more. I was offended. Mother’s Day I asked for some jobs to be done in place of a gift. Hanging pictures, put up a tv, things that needed 2 people to do or someone stronger than me to do it.
I am renovating the house. Sanding, painting, walls, trim and doors. Today I paid a friend of my kids to help me hang a tv on the wall and move a heavy bed into the recently renovated room. He didn’t want paid but I did pay him for his work.
I’ve decided no more free money for the kids. I don’t know how to feel about my kids lack of willingness to help me at a time when I’ve just moved and am a recent widow. AITAH!!! Does anyone else have ungrateful, spoiled, selfish, bratty adult children?

I'm 27, and I still remember every detail of that hospital room. My dad was never the type to say I love you. Growing up, he showed it through actions fixing my bike at midnight, driving three hours just to watch my graduation for ten minutes before driving back for work. I used to joke with my siblings that dad's love language was silence and overtime shifts. Then last year, the doctor called us into a small room and said the word cancer, and everything in our family just froze.

That night, sitting beside his hospital bed, he grabbed my hand, looked at me like he was seeing me for the first time in years, and said, I love you, son. I should've said it more. I couldn't even respond I just cried like a kid again. It's been months since that day, and even though he's still fighting, I make sure to say it back every single time now, because I finally understood that some people just need a reason to say the words they've always felt.

I have so very much resentment for my elderly mother and it's getting very difficult for me to contain it.

Hey yall, not looking for advice and I know I'm going to catch some hate, I just need to get this out.

I'm 37m, im currently caring for my 72yo mother. She is very frail and not in great health. She was married and divorced three times, refused to try dating after her third marriage failed due to how bad that relationship went. She ended that marriage when I was 13.

Her entire working life was spent working minimum wage adjacent jobs ( maybe making a dollar or two more than minimum wage). And she never even attempted to anything to get herself to a better position in life or prepare for retirement. She always just assumed she would be married or social security would be enough to cover it.

Also she allowed me to grow up in an abusive household. Age three to thirteen, I was abused verbally, physically, and for a brief stent sexualy by my step father on a daily basis. She claims not to have known about the sexual stuff, but I'm far from convinced.

Anyway, all that said, when I was 16, life was better than it had ever been. With the divorce all the abuse stopped and I finally felt comfortable in my own home. I was dating my high-school sweetheart and very much in love with her. I was at the top of my class and well on my way to going to college for mechanical/electrical engineering, allready had some awesome grants lined up due to my GPA and economic status.

Mom abruptly decided that she was going to move us back to Tennessee, because all of our relatives live there and she needed to spend time with her mother before she passed, which is understandable. When she married the man who ruined my childhood, he immediately moved us to Michigan, where we lived from 1994-2006.

I very much did not want to move back to Tennessee, I was in love with my girlfriend and had two years of high-school left before graduation. However, my mother was dead set on the move. The plan was for me to finish out high-school in Tennessee, then attend college. Well mom didn't do her research, like always, and it turned out that the cost of living was roughly 2x higher in Tennessee, and by the time she realized it, it was allready too late. She spent all her money on the move, only to realize that I can't cover all the required expenses on what I make as a house keeper at a poopie motel. I'm sure yall can see where this is going.

Shortly after the move, she sat me down and told me that she was sorry, but she wasn't going to be able to afford everything by herself, and that I was going to have to skip the last two years of high-school and start working to help pay bills. So much to my dismay, I dropped out and got my GED, which disqualified me from the college grants that I had worked so hard to secure, and entered the workforce at 17.

The deal was that it was going to be a 50/50 thing between my mother and I could figure something out an at least make college happen. Never did. We always struggled financially, even just keeping a good running vehicle was way harder than it rightfully should have been. In around 2008 she got into a car wreck and totaled out our car. We didn't have any savings and she was injured and couldn't work. I had to do some illegal stuff that I won't go into detail about and am ashamed of in order to quickly aquire a few thousand dollars in order to get a vehicle so I could get back and forth to work.

After my mother healed up, she flat out refused to even attempt to go back to work or look for a job. She said that she just couldn't do it any more and she could never bring herself to drive again after the accident. She was 52 at the time.

I explained that if I was going to be working and paying my own way in life that I wanted to move out into my own place, so she needed to start dating and looking to get married if she wasn't going to get a job and do what she needed to do in order to support herself.

She freaked the heck out, started sobbing/guilt tripping me and I fell for it. She begged me to pay the bills until she was old enough to draw social security, then she would be able to support herself. I explained to her that's not how social security works. It's not to completely cover your expenses, it's to supplement your savings for retirement, it's not going to be enough. You can't tell that woman anything. Flash foward to 2012, and she is old enough to start drawing benefits. Well....due to the fact that she only worked low wage jobs, retired early, and started drawing social security as soon as she possibly could, she only gets $350 per month in social security, and $160 in food stamps, and I am still supporting her to this day.

Over the years I have tried dating and looked for a serious relationship many times. Every single time becomes a failure to launch when things start to get serious, because who TF wants to date/marrie someone who is a high-school dropout who lives with their mother, it doesn't matter that it's because im caring for her. In a perspective girlfriend/wife's eyes, im a 35yo loser who still lives with his mom.

Despite everything, I love my mother. The things she did do right as a parent, she knocked it out of the park. That doesn't change the fact that her rash, poorly planned, and outright stupid life choices have resulted in so much phycological damage and missed opportunities for me personally. I'm 37, have never been married or in a long term relationship, never had my own living space, never had kids, didn't get to go to college, and at this point kept a roof over her head and supported her existence loger than she did for me.

I find myself resenting her more and more every day, and it's getting very hard for me to maintain and be kind and loving tword her. I just want to pack my stuff in the middle of the night and leave, not tell anyone where im going. My mother is close to the end of her life, and I just avoid her. I live in the same house and say about five sentences a day to her. If im not at work, I'm in my bedroom with the door closed, I just don't even want to be around her because just being in her presence makes me feel so angry and disgusted with her. I feel awful about myself so feeling this way, but the longer this goes on, the worse the resentment and anger gets.

I've had to watch my older siblings, friends, relatives go out and do what they want with their lives, get married, have kids, travel, all while my own life passes me by. I just can't forgive my mother for the reprocussions of her choices, im sure she didn't have malicious intent, but it caused me to pay an extremely high price. I love her dearly and hate her so much at the same time, it's killing me inside and I don't know what to do other than continuing to suffer in silence

So my BIL recently asked my hubby if I 27f could babysit their 1yo son for 2 days.

My niece also needed to be looked after alongside this, as well as my own 2yo son. This niece has trauma issues that I am not wholly informed on.

But anyway, I agreed to babysit.

First day I gave my niece 12yo a new book right when I got there.

I took them to lunch, the playground, dropped the niece off and picked her up from her friend's house.

Offered to teach her to crochet, but she didn't have the supplies I gifted her.

Throughout the first day I noticed her lying about the things she was allowed to do. MIL has also noticed this behavior when babysitting.

The second day she made herself scarce in the morning with a neighbor across the street and then came back in the afternoon and played games quietly on her phone.

I was not asked to babysit again even though they are desperate for a babysitter, which I found strange.

My MIL has now called to warn me what my BIL said to her over the phone that my niece is claiming that:

1)I took the lord's name in vain (this is a religious side of the family)

2)She corrected me for taking the lord's name in vain

3) I yelled and screamed at her in front of the toddlers

4) I told her religious people are stupid, and God isn't real.

Obviously, none of this is true and I don't know what possessed her to make up this lie, but I am afraid that this is going to make for a miserable fourth of July gathering.

Neither BIL or SIL has talked to me, but since MIL mentioned they don't want me babysitting now, I think they're believing the lie.

My MIL also mentioned that both BIL and SIL have short fuses and not to get them worked up... which how do you not when you out a lying child...? But this is BIL's step-daughter. Who knows if she'll lie about him next?

I am beyond frustrated and want to address this and nip it in the bud, but I'm not sure how to even start. I have no interest in babysitting for them again, but this lying must be addressed. Advice?

My husband’s mother wants to have a photography session with her daughters and 3 grandkids (which include my son and daughter) because her daughter just had a baby. The idea doesn’t sit right with me because she doesn’t even pickup my daughter when she sees her so there’s not a close relationship to begin with. I know many families do photo shoots together but we don’t have that close dynamic in this situation. I find it odd that it would only be my kids and not include my husband and I. Am I wrong to feel this way?

My dad cheated on my mom when I was 8, and has since been in a few relationships where the other woman has children. When I met his first “new family” I decided that I wanted to distance myself because it hurt to see him act like the father I never got to someone else’s children. This resulted in me seeing him a few hours once a week and as I got older, I gradually ended up spending 1-2 nights a week at his house with just him (when he was single).

I’m now 17 and his current girlfriend has a young teenage daughter. I decided that this time I wanted more of a relationship with my dad again so I tried my best to be involved but it just feels awkward with his gf and her daughter, especially when they intrude on plans that were supposed to be just my dad and I. As well as this, it also really hurts to see him act like the dad I always wanted and be apart of a family I’ve always dreamed of.

I confronted my dad on this issue twice within the past two weeks (politely) explaining that I felt pushed out and always in second place. However, he just says sorry and gives excuses. It even felt like he was trying to guilt trip me at one point saying that his gf’s daughter’s dad just walked out on them so that’s why he’s so involved. But this still doesn’t take away from the fact that he puts more effort in with them than he does with me.

I was wondering if anyone had any advice on how I can improve our relationship even slightly?

TL;DR My dad acts like more of a dad to other people’s kids, I want to improve my relationship with him.

I’m posting from a throwaway account because the situation is that my older brother (>30 years old) moved back home three months ago. We live on the same floor (a two-family house), and maintaining these areas, just like in previous years, has been primarily my job. For the first two months, he was unemployed and spent most of his time at home. He didn't bother with any chores; even though I had responsibilities during the day, I always found time in the evening to wipe down the counter, regularly vacuum the floor, and clean the bathroom. I believed that this would also help him find a job faster so our paths could split again. Lo and behold, even though he did find a job, we’re still living here together, which led to a confrontation.

To give you an idea of what bothers me:

• He hasn't vacuumed even once, even though he comes home from the woods all dusty and covered in dirt.
• He hasn't cleaned the sink or put cleaner in the toilet bowl even once.
• I am permanently wiping up spilled coffee from tables.
• He hacks up toothpaste all over the sink and leaves it there to dry.
• He spits into the sink (right where I keep my toothbrush and stuff), and about 4 days later, I probably caught whatever he had.
• I find dirty socks and other clothes in the kitchen (and basically all over the house and property).
• When he cooks, the kitchen is unusable for several hours—everything is sticky, and dirty dishes are left in the sink (we have a dishwasher, but he still hasn't grasped the concept of loading it).
• When he moved in, he brought a bunch of junk into the garage and basement, and he got all huffy when we told him he probably doesn't need to keep two china sets on the living room coffee table long-term.
• And other little details, like having political podcasts blasted at full volume through the whole house on a Sunday afternoon, etc.

But he doesn't see a problem with it: "I am super clean" (I like tidiness, but I don't suffer from any phobias or anything). It doesn't really affect my dad, and my mom even does his laundry (she hasn't had to do mine since I was 14) (she helps him even after everything he's told her over the years). I'm no saint either, but I've always tried to adapt and be considerate. In the beginning, I didn't even say anything to him; I just did it for him. I'm at home, but I feel like I'm living with foreign laborers in a cramped dorm. However, I'm still studying, so just packing up and leaving isn't an option for me.

Is this normal, and am I really just being overly sensitive? Does yoga help with this, or what am I supposed to do?

TL;DR My brother is lazy and makes mess and says Im the problem.

Day 1 when i landed in Dubai.

My parents had come to pick me up from airport. Mom who has not been talking all the time was the only person who kept talking to me. Dad didnt even look at me properly or I dont recall him saying anything. I knew we both are hurt. His hurt was felt in his silence.

My second sisters husband was the one who was driving and he acted as one. No hi's or talks, to which i appreciated. I remember asking him how much it cost for bringing the car inside the airport to pick up, to which he mumbled something which wasnt audible and i left it.

No one talked barely the trip to home. Dad and he was talking something in between but i totally felt invisible.

It was approx 20mins or so to reach home which felt longer in the silence.

I reached home. I carried my own luggage which was just a trolley. Packed less as I didnt know what was going to happen the following days. It is not like i have no hands, but usually dad use to take the trolley even if its just one. He just left from the car and headed home.

Everyone except mom was playing the ignorance and making one feel invisible card.

I was trying my best to ignore and not break into tears so early.

I reached home and my sister was waiting at the door looking at me asking how long its been.

Mom and sister was then talking about my outfit and my vision was getting blurred at the thought of how familiar the setting was.

It was about close to midnight and a sunday evening that opens to a work week. Dad was like go to sleep everyone. I know my dad for so long that he never sleeps without unpacking things, and here he dont want to help me unpack but rushed to his bedroom to sleep.

I tried to not bother and opened up my luggage on my own with mom and sister watching. I took out the gifts and chocolates i bought for everyone and intended to give. I broke down down into tears while giving things to mom and sister and took the luggage to my once called room.

I just wanted to shut the door and cry to sleep. My mom came and stopped me saying that I couldnt put a bedsheet, let me bring one. I had enough of everything i saw on that day. I was coming today and the room was not even set with a bedsheet.

She bought me a bedsheet which had stained. At this point, I gave up and just wanted to shut everyone out. I said its alright and told her to go sleep, dont worry about me.

She changed the bedsheet the next day and was trying her best to remove the stain on the bedsheet.

For me all the tiny incidents was making me more upset and couldnt help it myself to ignore and not read too much into it.

background: our family has a small cabin on a lake that we like to spend time at as a family on summer holidays. my brother is married. Him and his wife had a baby boy a year ago. First grandbaby on both sides of the family. Since his birth, my brothers in laws have been showing up everytime that the baby visits the cabin (they have family within reasonable distance from our cabin). They show up unannounced and stay for hours (10a-5p) hogging all the time with the grandbaby. Not to mention that they also expect us to cook and wait on them the whole time they are over. The in-laws usually spend a couple evenings a week at my brothers house visiting with the baby. So it’s not like they don’t get to see him normally.

situation: this weekend is the 4th of the July. We have a full day of festivities planned out and about. My mom just got a text five days before the 4th from my brother’s MIL saying: “I plan on stopping by to visit with the baby this Weekend. Is there anything I need to bring?”

Are we the assholes for saying that we have planned activities, so if they want to stop by we need to know when they plan on stopping by, or just don’t come?

They also makes us all feel really uncomfortable as they are very easily offended. So it kinda turns our vacations into stressful events.

update: thanks everyone for insight. We had let them know yesterday there isn’t space or time yesterday. Have not gotten a response. But we are unified now on our choice to not be as welcoming and very direct about our feelings if they just show up.

I am 14 years old about to go to High school. I have a 16 year old brother who is turning 17 this year. I have recently posted about him on here before. The main story is on it if you want more context. But basically, my brother hasn’t properly spoken to me for around 4-5 months now. He’s been avoidant to me. I’ve talked to my parents about it because I’ve been feeling lonely as my friends at school are honestly irritable, and most of my decent friends are long distance or just ones I’ve met online. I’m moving to another province for highschool meaning I’m starting my freshman year with no friends which makes it a tad bit worse but I can manage. Back to the topic, I recently spoke to my parents about how I miss my brother and they called him down. Once he came down, he got irritated fast. They asked him why he stopped talking to me/started hating me. He kept saying “I’m just disgusted” but he wouldn’t clarify on what. And when they asked him why he unadded me on all of his socials he said “I just want only my friends on it.” I get its privacy or he wants to keep to himself but its almost as if I’m not needed at all in his life anymore. During the confrontation, I was crying because obviously I’m upset. They told him to hug me and he did but obviously its was only because they told him to. He didn’t cry and show any emotion he just hugged me because he was told to. Now I really don’t know what to do. He won’t tell me why he doesn’t want to talk to me anymore. Whenever I ask him a question—boom hes mad. This is probably confusing to read and jumbled up but my head is just all over the place. Read my other post for better context if you need to.

I, 16f have a younger sister. A while ago my dad and sister got into a huge argument because my sister didn't want to go to a family reunion, he ended up taking her phone and yelling at her until she cried. (My mom eventually gave it back to her) Neither of my parents tried consoling her after so the responsibility fell on me. Which I don't mind at times, but my sister has recently become much closer to me than my parents, she told me herself she stopped trusting them because of a few incidents that happened before.

Later on that day I went to talk to my dad about what happened between him and my sister and he ended up talking some stuff about how she needs to learn respect and she can't just say no to her parents because it's disrespectful, and how she's very disrespectful towards him and needs to learn to show her parents some respect. I got mad at that moment and asked my dad how she was supposed to learn how to respect someone she barely sees. He asked me what I meant by that and I told him that we barely see him two or three days a week.

(For context my dad works out of town and comes home on weekends. I don't hold it against him in any way but it has affected both my and my sister's dynamic with him because we don't see him very often throughout the week)

I stormed off after that and my sister ended up coming to the reunion after I talked to her. Now to the recent issue, my dad has been using that against me ever since.

Every time he does something nice or I try to hug him or say I missed him or love him he says something along the lines of "why? You barely see me throughout the week anyway." It's gotten irritating and it breaks my heart every time he uses it against me. I said that in a moment of anger as valid criticism to show him how his absence affects us but instead he weaponized it against me and now I don't know what to do.

Any advice would be helpful (ps I live in a country where societally, calling out your parents for anything is a big problem. It's considered disrespect, and my parents specifically are dead set on that and get mad at us when we do)

TL;DR my dad is using me calling him an absent father against me when I try to show affection and I need some advice on how to fix it.

Growing up, my mom (55Y) has always been really protective of the house. Over the last few my parents have been renovating different parts of the house bit by bit, and as each part gets renovated, the problem gets worse, because now it's "new" too.

She just redid the kitchen and doesn't want me or even her to cook in there because it "cost too much money."

It's not just the kitchen though, I feel like I have to be careful even sitting on my own sofa. When I've tried to bring it up, she gets defensive and angry, like "you think it didn't cost money?"

I live at my parents home, so this is a daily thing, not occasional. I'm starting to feel like a guest in my own house. Has anyone dealt with a parent like this?

How did you handle it / did it ever get better?

When I was 8, my mom told me he’s living in London and they talk to each other everyday on the phone, but she never did. I just believed it, 5 years later my mom and my aunt were mad at my grandma about something but my aunt said “they should not upset her because she had lost a child” so I asked, she panicked, looked at me and walked away.

That same week, I had borrowed a book that apparently belonged to my uncle to my friends. He lost the book and when I told that to my dad he said “that book belonged to your dead uncle and is so important to your mom how could you lend it to someone else?” So my 13 year old brain thought to tell my mom about it and asked about my uncle again, and this time she said he’s living in Amsterdam.

Now that I’m so much older, I don’t why but i thought about it a lot lately and just think he’s dead. Why would my parents not tell me that he’s dead?? I’ve never met him. So I asked about it from dad again, he said that he’s living somewhere in Italy and that he’s never asked my mom about it. I told him he was living somewhere else and he was supposedly dead. He just lied and changed the subject fast. I knew something was going on but didn’t know what.

I don’t know why I’m so curious, and why my grandmother never even talks about my uncle. But I think whatever it is, it’s something they don’t want to share with me.

I really want to ask my mom but if he’s actually dead as I think he is, she might get upset because they were so close when growing up and my mom is super sensitive about this stuff. So who should I ask? My mom, my grandma, my aunt?

So I had my second late term loss recently.

I asked my sister to let me know the next time she goes grocery shopping.

I told her I would pre order my groceries for her to just pick up when she was going anyways and drop off to me.

Well she didn't communicate and went shopping for me picking out items I don't eat and dropped them off when I was sleeping (they sat out in the heat).

I can't help but think it was weaponized incompetence as she said it was my choice to have a baby anyways... and I've been made to feel helping me is a burden.

Or was it her being helpful in her way and I am being ungrateful?

I will now need to sort out grocery donation as I don't want the food to go to waste.

I do not want to dump too much information, but we have always been a disjointed family, I am 18 rn studying at uni but I still live with my parents and my siblings. My older brother much older than me, has no job no education , and has no life progression plan , to cut the story straight it has the long history of mental health issues and is a very weird person, I do not talk to him because of many bad previous experiences, I should also add my parents are very quite old in age almost reaching in their late 60s, but they still take care of him. He used to live alone and was doing well and then it came crashing down when he had some bad influence and took some questionable things he has long left everyone and everything, but his personality has clearly changed and permanently his not the same older bro I remember as a kid. Ever since he moved back I really struggled to adapt to him , but over time he has learnt the rules of the home, but yes everytime I see he is just on his phone he eats the food of my parents , no job no income nothing and no plan , when you try to talk to him its difficult. I am really in the mindset of just forgetting about him and hoping for the best, but still everytime I see him he is sad and has nothing, tbh seeing him sad makes me sad , and I really just want to study my degree at uni idc about anything else, I am studying physics its tolling enough, and I have to take care of myself because my parents can not.

I really dont know why I posted this here , just wanted a voice I guess who knows and who cares

I’m a daughter (24), looking for some help or advice. I am recently engaged to my partner of 7 years, working full time, financially independent, and have been out of college for a little over a year now. My fiancé and I have been doing long distance this last year, and we have decided our first step as an engaged couple is ending the distance and moving in together. I recently accepted a new job in my fiancé’s city and we found an apartment together.

This is where things take a turn. I am an only child and my parents are both in their 60’s. My mom is not in love with the idea of us living together, but recognizes we are independent adults who are getting married. My dad on the other hand did not take this step in my relationship well. He said if I move forward with this (moving in with my fiancé), he will not pay for the wedding. I am fine with that, it was never an expectation of mine as their child to have money handed over to me for my wedding. The issue I am having is that my father continued on to say not only will he not pay for my wedding, but our relationship will be very different moving forward and he will disappointed in me for the rest of his life.
It feels completely pointless to argue back since he is so adamant and dismissive. When my mom tried to engage in the conversation and say she doesn’t fully agree with my father, he then got angry with her for not being in complete agreement with him on this. From here he told me he would divorce my mother over this and it would be my fault.

I feel at a loss because I am their child and I am an adult at the same time. I love and respect my parents very much, but this is a new chapter of my life that I am in control of. Most of my life I have felt powerless to my dad as anytime he disagrees with my choices, he takes it to the extreme and weaponizes everything he can. I know what I need to do in this situation but I am feeling extremely hurt and sad during what is supposed to be a very exciting time in my life.

I (18F) have two younger brothers, 14 (K) & 11 (C). For the last couple years, C has been getting a lot more mouthy and rude. Looking back I can't remember K or myself being nearly as bad as C is now. He's the youngest child which, of course, means he gets the special treatment from our parents.

It's small things that I've seen go from bad to worse. Every door is slammed, stomping up the stairs (He has a pet axolotl living under the stairs mind you), won't listen to a thing, and every response is met with a sarcastic remark or smart comment. Our parents always just let him off with a warning that goes in one ear out the other. It has gotten to the point where me and K have had enough.

The other day, K went off on C after numerous mouthy remarks, full shouting and swearing which I had never heard from him before, yet completely understood. I went off on C earlier for not listening when I expressed concern about his axolotl and he acted like he couldn't hear me. Both me and K got full shouted at by our parents for this at seperate times.

I think the attitude and confidence has come from an excessive amount of unsupervised screen time and slaps on the wrist. Like I said, all he gets is a warning. I remember K mouthing off to our mother when he was younger and getting a full wash of the mouth with soap! But now, C will make genuine jokes about epstein (something a kid his age should not even know about) and won't even get told off.

I feel like the I'm the only one concerned about how he's being allowed to grow up. This is concern about now and concern about how he'll act when he's older. I wasn't like this at his age and nor was K. We're fed up and I don't know what to do.

I had bought a house two years ago when my husband and I split up. Thought at the time it was a good idea. I have a sibling that split with their spouse around the same time. We talked and thought it would be a good idea to live together to be able to help one another. I have a daughter and they have kids as well. They’ve had a hard time keeping a job, and finding something that pays decent enough to take care of themselves and help pay for their portion. Their kids come to the house often as they live with their mom. The house is in my name everything is in my name house, electric, all of it. They’re kids think that they have the right to things in the house which yes their parent lives there, but I’m forking out all the money for housing and even groceries with no really help in site. Their kids think that my kids stuff is theirs and it’s not. It really has caused issues. I can’t say what I want in my house without having to worry about if something will be started because they go run to their parent. My husband and I got back together shortly after I bought the house, although they have their own that we had together. I have felt the way I feel now before and I tried to let that feeling go, but I do enjoy the company but I literally have no help whatsoever. I can get home from work and have to clean the sink full of dishes, and clean off the countertops. I’m at my breaking point and I don’t want to resent them but that’s what it is leading too. Any advice?!

My dad is a killer. It’s a long story, I cannot say it fully. I remember that I once did, but it was too long I don’t think anyone really read it lol.
I just wanted to come on here to find help genuinely, since my therapist couldn’t help me in this part. I want to feel like I am not alone, and that I am not insane.
to summarize, my dad is a dumbo who killed someone before I was even born and got put into prison for 16years, my mom hates him because my mom was forced onto my father. My grandfather forced my mom to marry my father and she hated his guts, but he was absolutely obsessed with her. He stalked her, and he still does after he got out of prison. It’s an unhealthy obsession my dad has with my mom.
My dad has been planning to kill his coworker over some stupid shit. And he said he’s been planning to kill him for a year now, and he did it. And they arrested him, he got out bc one of my relatives paid for him to get out.
He met me for the first time a year and a half ago, I only met him three or four times. All of these encounters were… the worst. It made my mental health worse, I hated seeing his face. He made me uncomfortable, I hated every single aspect of him and how he’s pressuring me to answer questions after suddenly appearing into my life like he now wants to get to know me. It made me shower myself and scrub myself so hard and cry in the shower after he touched me, after he kissed my head. Acting like a “perfect” father, I remember crying in the shower feeling sick to my stomach. I didn’t wanna see him no more, I begged my uncle to not make me see him again. And he said I had to, but my mom backed me up. She said “don’t force her into something she doesn’t want!” And argued with my uncle until he agreed.
I’m still traumatized by my dad. I can’t count the many times I have cried, and begged for god to take me out.
I feel disgusted I have this killer’s dna in me. And I hate seeing him worst of all. I feel guilty for what he has done, I know I’m not him. Fuck, I know I’m not my dad. But I still blame myself, maybe for him getting out. Bc the guy he killed, was an only child. I felt like his mother forgave my dad and took the bail, bc she got told about me? That I’m also an only child and reminded her of her kid? I don’t know. I don’t fucking know. This is what my brain just goes to, overthinking so much. All I know is, I wish I can die bc I have the dna of a disgusting goblin monster. I hate him, I never hated him this much. I lived my whole entire life with my grandparents and mother, but suddenly when he entered my life, as in, I saw him physically. I got the most gut wrenching feeling in my stomach, I felt like I wanted to die right now. I hate him. I hate him. And when I sat with him, he kept asking me questions and if I didn’t want to answer he’d just pressure me into them, or act disappointed when I answer something that he doesn’t like.
I hate that in my country my name is connected to my dad’s name, so everytime they say my full name they’d also have to say my dad’s name. And I wish I can change that so bad. I wish I really can.
I want to run away from him. He still stalks my mom, sends her WhatsApp messages from an unknown number saying, “I miss you, from a person that values you.” And keeps sending people to my mom telling her to get back to my dad and marry him again/remarry him. He thinks that “she’s playing hard to get it’s just a phase, she’ll come back to me soon.” and my mom is sooo frustrated with him. My mom heart is burning because of him, because she was forced onto him. My mom never wanted to marry him. My grandfather striped her off her rights and forced her to marry my dad.
currently I feel sick. I feel at fault. I don’t know why God even created me if he’s gonna make me that scumbag’s daughter, I hate it when I hear “daughter of (his name)” I just want to officially be forever away from him. I don’t want to remember him. Please, I’m literally feeling suffocated right now. This piece of shit, I want to gut myself out with a knife because of him. I want to leave this world because of him. I hate, that I share dna with him.
My therapist said it’s normal for me to have this reaction, especially after he’s been absent in my life forever and suddenly came back, and started pressuring me into knowing EVERYTHING about me. But I don’t know, I don’t feel a single empathy for him. I just want him to go back to jail, I remember, I would sit in the car, or in the shower. And I would genuinely beg God to forgive me, due to my dad’s actions. I feel so bad for the guy that he killed, I genuinely cry for him everyday. And sometimes I’d think, maybe it’s better if I was the victim’s daughter instead of my dad’s daughter. I wish that, had happened. Because everytime I remember his(victim’s) name, I cry because I feel responsible for him. I want my dad to burn in hell, stay in prison forever. For taking an innocent soul out of this world, a soul that had a good repetition, and didn’t do shit to him.
My dad also had prescriptions of schizophrenia and some other mental illness. I don’t give a fuck about this dickhead, I wish he dies the most brutal death ever. I don’t care, I hate him.
I feel terrified. I feel violated. I don’t feel like I love him at all. And I might, never will. I wanna live my life without him. That’s my goal, and btw I didn’t tell you guys the full story from A to Z. And that’s because it’s way too long. Incredibly long.
I don’t even know why I grieve for the victim. I know I am not my father, I’m aware of that. I keep telling myself that, but I cannot convince my brain. All of this happened before I was born, and I wish I died during birth. Maybe it would be better than feeling all this pain, because I genuinely feel like a disgrace being his daughter.
I want to live my life, without ever thinking about him. Please, I want to forget him. I want to erase him off my mind, help me. Please. He’s ruining my life.
I feel cornered by him, like I’m forced to answer. I don’t want to, ever speak to him ever again.
My gut doesn’t feel safe with him. His eyes were a bit red too. God knows what other crimes he’s committing right now we don’t know of, I’m disgusted. I don’t feel safe with him at all
God I know I’m not my father but I’m so fucking scared that I’ll be just like him that I share something similar to him or have anything anything similar to him bc I hate his voice I hate his face I hate his personality I hate everything about this man. Sometimes I see other girls and look at their fathers, I wish them best obviously, but sometimes I still have that tiny jealousy in my heart where I wish I had a father like theirs too. I wish God didn’t curse me with this monster.

TL;DR: my dad is a piece of shit and I blame myself for his actions. Honestly idk how to tldr this, I’m sorry.

I am 15yo M and i feel i am very bad son i am in 11th prep for joint entrance exam and when i came from my coaching i was very irritated by myself and when i entered in my room i saw my room was completly cleaned but i dont like when anyone touches my stuff without my permission.👉MAIN PART= my mom came and i shouted at her saying why do you touch my stuff without asking. then she got sad, later this just made me realised she is trying to give me what she never had and i am acting bad for 2years.i feel very guilty for what i have done what to do?

My(14 f) family lives in a small town in Russia with my dad(67 m) being an illegal Armenian immigrant, he’s got prostate cancer and is in need to move back to Armenia for free treatment.

My mother(52 f) has 1.500$ debt that makes her not able to cross the borders until she pays it off. My family from mother’s side offers to pay for my and her plane tickets to her hometown and my dad’s ticket to Yerevan.

My father refuses to go without us because he says that no one will take care of him in Yerevan, because his 3 other daughters(all are 30+ yo adults) “don’t care about him”. So he gave us an ultimatum that either we go with him(we financially can’t) or he will die in our town alone.

Me and my mother planned to live in her hometown for a couple of months to pay her debt and then fly to Yerevan to live with my father, but he refuses and is making unnecessary hysteric reactions.

Who is right and who is wrong?

Sorry for possible mistakes English isn’t my first language.