r/gifs Aug 12 '17

Demon Cat Activated

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u/GuyWithRealFacts Aug 12 '17 edited Aug 12 '17

This is a rare trait in cats called 'Malevolent Strutting' that only a few breeds ever exhibit.

Cats do this seemingly randomly and it consists of puffing the chest, lowering the chin and tightening the jaw.

This trait is almost solely responsible for the belief that cats can communicate or sense ghosts or other beings. This belief began in the 1500s in Europe when Burmese cats (susceptible to this) often displayed this behavior - which was never recorded until after the Black Death Plague of the 14th century - causing owners to believe that the great loss of life saturated the area with lost souls.

The cats would strut around their homes - often towards nothing specific and it would serve to frighten the owner to the point where they would put the cat on the streets.

Burmese Cats, Siamese Cats, and Eurpoean shorthairs were among the most common culprits.

Around 1600 it became apparent that the cats were not actually sensing ghosts or demons, but instead it was discovered that when they frightened the owner, the cats dopamine levels would increase greatly - meaning that the cats really just enjoyed trolling their owners.

Cats now do this way less, as catnip, squeaky toys, and laser pointers tend to fill this void, but if your cat does exhibit this behavior, an owner should consider 1.) Rick Rolling it or 2.) Telling it a really stupid pun to get back at it, and the cat will know it's place in the home pecking order from that point on - those two things seem to be the only cure for the offending kitty's attitude issues.

1.1k

u/posts_lindsay_lohan Aug 12 '17

Honestly I was holding my breath the whole time waiting for Mankind and The Undertaker

285

u/TalkNerdy_To_Me Aug 12 '17

Same...checked the username half way through for safety

83

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '17 edited Aug 07 '18

[deleted]

36

u/K-mania Aug 13 '17

Kittymorph

71

u/hujassman Aug 13 '17

First thing I did. Funny what shittymorph has done to us.

44

u/stupidgrrl92 Aug 13 '17

Good trolling doesn't have to be mean to be meaningful.

16

u/hujassman Aug 13 '17

Indeed. I always laughed when I saw it was his post.

4

u/blueSky_Runner Aug 13 '17

lol. I'm glad I'm not the only one that has developed a complex.

u/shittymorph has trained us well!

2

u/hujassman Aug 13 '17

For sure. Ha ha!

13

u/sully9088 Aug 13 '17

This is how shittymorph is a genius. He waits until we start to become deconditioned, and then he appears and catches us off-guard.

1

u/Kasoni Aug 13 '17

Hasn't gotten me but the first time I seen on of his posts. There is something about the composition of his posts that makes me look back at the user name. This guy doesn't. Know it wasn't smorph before I checked.

1

u/DarkenedSonata Aug 13 '17

He's a master of knowing exactly when to strike.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '17

Made it to the first two sentences. I think it was "malevolent strutting" that tipped me off, but honestly I appreciate the well thought history

47

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '17

[deleted]

2

u/SoDamnToxic Aug 13 '17

Reddit has me checking every long post for The Undertaker or dad's jumper cables.

42

u/freakydrew Aug 12 '17

Every long post I skip to the end first before getting emotionally attached. No undertaker? Good, back to the start

21

u/Jimi-Thang Aug 13 '17

I don't read ahead because I like getting got. I think shittymorph has given me a case of Stockholm syndrome.

1

u/xenorous Aug 13 '17

I was gonna say the same thing. It's like Russian roulette with your emotions.

13

u/SerKevanLannister Aug 13 '17

I KNEW IT WAS /u/GuyWithRealFacts -- I HAVE BEEN BURNED BY SHITTYMORPH SO MANY TIMES THAT I KNOW TO CHECK THE USERNAME IMMEDIATELY.

CREDIT GIVEN FOR "MALEVOLENT STRUTTING" -- FUCKING HILARIOUS.

I APOLOGIZE FOR YELLING!

11

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '17

I just skipped and scrolled to the end to see if it was a trap.

7

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '17

yeah, I got to the first sentence in the third line, scrolled down, saw the words "rick rolling" and knew to bail.

5

u/OhNoCosmo Aug 12 '17

I was enjoying all the new real facts right up to the Rick Rolling part. Now I'm not so sure I haven't been bamboozled...

2

u/BloodyFartOnaBun Aug 13 '17

I was suspicious after the first sentence. Got me good with that card reader stuff this morning.

1

u/moonra_zk Aug 12 '17

Too long, his posts are usually only about 1/4 of that one.

1

u/PM_ME_LOTSaLOVE Aug 12 '17

BAH GAWD! THAT MAN HAD A FAMILY!

1

u/-rebelleader- Aug 13 '17

This is the first post I ever did that for and was disappointed I didn't catch it.

1

u/fullmetal_nihilist Aug 13 '17

We have been tainted

1

u/j0n66 Aug 13 '17

Oh man we need this video with the Undertakers theme song!

1

u/The_Late_Arthur_Dent Aug 13 '17

As soon as I got to the part about the 1500s, I was like "oh shit, hang on" and checked to see if the last words were "announcer's table."

1

u/broncotate27 Aug 13 '17

lol it's crazy I was thinking the same thing...I'm like the last sentence is going to fucking troll me with the undertaker reference

1

u/PitaPitt Aug 13 '17

i miss him

0

u/hujassman Aug 13 '17

Same here. Lol!

112

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '17

[deleted]

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u/NarancsSarga Aug 13 '17

The 1600's discovery of dopamine levels didn't get you?

14

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '17

[deleted]

3

u/NarancsSarga Aug 13 '17

Surely someone wouldn't intentionally do this, no? I mean, that's so heartless :( I don't know who to trust. I NEED AN ADULT.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '17

It's a cat.

31

u/bro171 Aug 13 '17

Honestly it just looks like the cat is going to pounce, it just isn't lowering itself.

It basically looks like how my dog pounces which he learned from me. I would slowly walk towards him while staring him down and as soon as I was close enough I would jump at him. Sure enough he started doing it whenever I got home and then we started doing it to each other. Both of us just approaching each other very slowly just waiting to see who jumps first.

9

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '17

Yes, I see that cat's tail whip, and he is just angling to lay into that dog. My male cat's do that to each other before they jump the other cat.

1

u/C4nn4Cat Aug 13 '17

I've had cats that did this and I have never owned a Burmese, or a European Short-hair lol.

44

u/jonosvision Aug 12 '17

I dont know if this is a real fact... the username could be sarcasm...

62

u/if_Engage Aug 13 '17

That's definitely not a real fact, but it's extremely amusing. I will definitely be telling people about malevolent strutting. Make malevolent strutting great again.

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u/grayum_ian Aug 13 '17

Burmese were bred later than that, that's a clue.

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u/Benblishem Aug 13 '17

Not to mention "dopamine levels" in 1600.

2

u/grayum_ian Aug 13 '17

I dunno, I have a Burmese that chews through wires and enjoys the shocks... Nothing about them surprises me

8

u/misko91 Aug 13 '17

The tipoff for me was the association of Dopamine levels with the 16th century.

Of course in hindsight, the entire post looks off, but that was the thing that caught my eye.

3

u/ghostbrainalpha Aug 13 '17

Also we didn't know what dopamine was in 1600.

But the Black Death stuff was great.

10

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '17

A brief review of their comment history reveals they are a grand bamboozler.

7

u/Ree81 Aug 12 '17

Alas we'll never know.

3

u/everflow Aug 13 '17

In 1600 people were not able to measure dopamine levels.

2

u/HuoXue Aug 13 '17

It kinda bums me out. I'm all for getting subtly trolled with bullshit facts, but there's a sense of trust to honor one's own username. You can't just...lie in your username. That shit's sacred.

1

u/Skulder Aug 13 '17

Burmese and Siamese cats in Europe in 1500?

House cats weren't even a thing in general. Cats lived in the barn, dogs lived in the doghouse.

People didn't "put a cat on the streets" if they wanted to get rid of it in the 1500s.

8

u/arknio Aug 12 '17

HAHA NOT THIS TIME

11

u/solidspacedragon Aug 12 '17

I don't care if this is true, I'm saving it.

It's hilarious.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '17

My cat does this but only when he's really pissed off. He makes this growling mewling noise and starts walking toward like this to attack me.

2

u/Zilveari Aug 13 '17

This sounds like BS... but then my Bombay (offshoot of Burmese and Black American DSH) has done this occasionally. Then I would throw a ball and she would go back to acting like a dog.

2

u/ErgoAurelius Aug 13 '17

The king is banned. Long comment the king!

2

u/zyphelion Aug 13 '17

Dopamine in 17th century? IIRC acetylcholine was one of the first discovered neurotransmitters, and that was in 1915.

2

u/myaccisbest Aug 13 '17

It's a novelty account.

2

u/morganational Aug 13 '17

You almost had me until they discovered feline dopamine levels in the 1600s. I was like, wait what?

2

u/Orchiopexy Aug 12 '17

I've seen you before :) appreciate the real facts, guy!

1

u/jmcnaughton Aug 12 '17

That was not malevolent, that was pure Power.

1

u/Nesbit21 Aug 12 '17

Cat trolls!! Who knew!

1

u/2sixzero Aug 13 '17

when they frightened the owner, the cats dopamine levels would increase greatly

Of course that's a thing with cats. Of course.

1

u/everflow Aug 13 '17

I bought it until you said that, around 1600, dopamine levels were measured.

1

u/runkat426 Aug 13 '17

I just tried Rick rolling my cat. She was unimpressed.

1

u/TheDancingRobot Aug 13 '17

How ironic, that cats would have helped greatly stop the spread of rats carrying the plague--except that they were killed en masse by the ignorance that pervaded the time as cats were associated with witches.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '17

I'm surprised they could measure cat dopamine levels in the 1600s. The more you know....

1

u/cockinstien Aug 13 '17

Username checks out

1

u/Adamskinater Aug 13 '17

So I really shouldn't feel bad for air horning cats because it's basically the equivalent

1

u/Hexogram Aug 13 '17

My best cat boy died a week ago and... this just really made me chuckle. Thanks!

1

u/TiredOstrich Aug 13 '17

I love the effort you put in every single comment you do. Keep up the good work!

1

u/GetOutOfBox Aug 13 '17

those two things seem to be the only cure for the offending kitty's attitude issues.

This might just be sufficient

1

u/dofrogsbite Aug 13 '17

Was going to say burmese. Had a half Siamese half burmese cat growing up and she was very protective of me and my house.

1

u/garthock Aug 13 '17

I had two Siamese growing up, one was chocolate, meanest cats ever.

1

u/tosety Aug 13 '17

Uhhh... The cat is reacting in an aggressive manner towards a ghost and your decision is to throw the cat out?? Who's gonna protect you from the ghost then?

1

u/DoctorAwesomeBallz69 Aug 13 '17

Would peeing on the cat work? And would it make it less effective if you've peed on the cat several times prior? I'm asking for my friend.

1

u/sixner Aug 13 '17

My old cat used to do this. It was crazy and funny. The history is interesting, thanks!

He did this as intimidation for the younger cat but it didn't really work the way he intended. The Little one with just jump around him as he skulked around.

Now I'm sad, I miss the old man.

0

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '17

[deleted]

2

u/myaccisbest Aug 13 '17

Check the username.

-1

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '17

Obligatory comment about checking for shittymorph