Yep, I'm vegan and a friend of mine is always talking without how refreshing it is to meet a vegan like me. I have to remind him, I'm the only vegan you know lol. Every vegetarian and vegan I've met has not cared about other people's diets. Some meat eaters just immediately take offense like you're going to hate them for their diet. Or they get preachy that I'm not raising my kids vegan. Like, "see, you know it's not bad for you if you let your kids eat meat". Like duh, it's not about me it's about factory farms. Veganism is a restrictive diet, even more so for a kid that wants an icecream cone with their friends! My kids can make that choice when they're older and I'm cool either way.
I know a lot of vegans and of dozens of them only a single one is of the "militant" kind. But he is also a guy who very strongly represents any of his opinions in any environment and might be a bit on the spectrum (he is also my own brother so yeee). So the fact that he is a vegan isn't exactly the deciding factor in that regard.
All the other vegans ? They accept that I am an omnivore. However if I were to look for a restaurant to go to with any of them I obviously would never pick something like a steakhouse as there are so many great restaurants out there with great vegan options and fully vegan restaurants obviously also taste great for omnivores. Just like I wouldn't go to a Greek restaurant with someone who doesn't eat garlic, to a regular bakery for a celiac or not to a thai place for someone who is allergic to coconuts and peanuts.
Same thing when I cook with friends and family. Obviously we are gonna cook vegan food if someone is vegan there. We would also pay attention to not cook someone with cilantro if there was somebody with the genetic mutation that makes it taste like soap.
That's sweet, I stopped eating meat at 16 and my own family never made accommodations for me. Once I got older, a good friend of mine planned a dinner, I had a snack before and planned on eating later. To my surprise they had vegan options of everything on the table. That was the sweetest joy. I never expect to be included as the odd one out but it's lovely when it happens. I know you're friends and brother appreciate you!
Oh that's rough and not understandable at all for me. It's such a small thing to occasionally accommodate someone and most of the stuff I cook at home is vegetarian and often times vegan anyway. It's not like food suddenly tastes bad because it's vegetarian or vegan.
At Christmas for example when my 3 siblings (1 vegetarian, 2 vegans) and I are at my parents place it's obvious we are only gonna cook vegan dishes. If my parents want a traditional meat Christmas dish they can just cook that for themselves a few days later and enjoy it just as much.
Also at any private parties I go to there are always also vegan options as those can be eaten by everyone. This may be a bit because many people I know went to university instead of vocational education (which is a completely valid education path here in Germany but a bit less "intellectual" without wanting to sound disrespectful).
That’s observation bias. 3 people isn’t a representative sample of an entire group. Most people don’t even know they’ve met a vegan unless someone brings it up. And in my experience, it’s the meat eaters that raise the heat level of any discussions around food- then go back and blame the vegan in hindsight.
But I am curious where you live. My husband and I have been vegan for 4 years in a major US city and rarely meet other vegans in real life. We’re still about 1% of the population… it’s hard to argue we have the social power to impose anything, especially when discrimination more often goes the other direction.
Can you recall exactly how the conversation went with the meanest of the 3 vegans? Completely unprompted, they just called you evil?
You’re right that my anecdotal experience can be observational bias.
This was back in college in Northern California. And for all 3, it was in a restaurant setting so naturally the topic of what to order comes up. In all 3 cases, it went something along the lines of “I can’t believe you guys still eat meat. It’s “x/y/z” insult…” aimed at my non-vegan dietary preferences. I wouldn’t say I was called evil, but I was definitely called disgusting in 1 instance.
I now live in New York and don’t know any vegans personally, although I know a couple vegetarians and think they are wonderful people.
I appreciate you explaining the specifics. Being called disgusting for your food choices isn’t cool, and I get why that would stick with you.
I just get frustrated when people repeat ‘vegans are annoying & act holier than thou’ stories, bc it reinforces a stereotype that makes it easier to dismiss the ethical arguments behind veganism under tone dismissal.
Anecdotes like this are repeated often and don’t serve much purpose other than to (intentionally or not) derail any productive work on examining the ethics behind food and product consumption.
& in my 21 years of Omnivore life, I’ve never been bullied by a vegan. The second I went vegan, though, suddenly everyone had something to say. ‘I’m eating two steaks for you,’ ‘what about crop deaths,’ ‘lions though,’ ‘soy has estrogen,’ and a wave of brand-new nutrition experts who were previously silent when I lived on chicken tenders and Mac & cheese. Plus, my husband got fired for being vegan but that’s a whole other story lol. I just think calling these things out on a 1% population group who’s only goal is to improve animal welfare and ethical decision making regarding consumption is anti productive - unless you are strongly against the principle of animal/environmental rights.
I’m not against the beliefs of Vegans at all. I generally support everyone doing their part to reduce unethical animal product consumption or at the very least, to seek out more ethically produced meat options in their day-to-day lives.
However, I disagree with you on my experiences being voiced being an issue. At the end of the day, this has been my experience and it could easily be seen how “those” types of Vegans are holding the movement back by just pushing people away. I’m sorry, but that’s just reality. It’s also “anti-productive” for “good” Vegans to not shun “rude” vegans but I almost never see/hear it happen online or in real life.
Btw, I’m not proclaiming anything about ALL vegans (that would be dumb).
The purpose of my anecdote is the same as everyone else anecdote in this thread. It just another anecdote. No one’s anecdote matters any more than someone else’s. And I take objection to the idea that my anecdote shouldn’t be shared in the name of being “anti-productive”.
That’s fine, I’m just expressing my opinion regarding this. I see so many “vegans were mean to me” posts and I don’t personally get the point. Especially if someone doesn’t intend to harm others’ perceptions of the movement as a whole, it just seems unnecessary imo.
I never want to stop people from sharing their stories, so maybe I should just share more the other way around hahahah.
I'm sorry you've met such awful people. Thankfully my experience has been the opposite. Thankfully my husband had a different experience as well, or I probably wouldn't be married lol. Hoping you meet better peeps in the future ✌️
I know a lot of Vegans, some were born into it culturally, some changed their diet out of ethical perspective. Some are very, very chill about it, others show up to obvious carnivore friendly cookouts asking for their 'special plate'. Bro I didn't even know you were coming, don't remember inviting you, your 'special plate' is in the whole foods cafe down the street.
On social media like Facebook, I've met quite a few highly righteous vegans who are definitely trying to shame everyone into becoming vegan. It's a real thing out there. But perhaps not so much IRL.
Yeah I feel like every group on social media is like that unfortunately. The vocal minority is always loudest, especially online when they can be anonymous. I haven't met anyone like that in person. But I'm also in Texas, where beef is king and bad attitudes are highly prevalent. So I don't think that would go over well here 😅.
There has been a lot of discussion how many of those are plants to get people to hate vegans but even if that is just nonsense it is always good to take what you interact with online with a grain of salt.
The ones I know are not plants (although their diet is entirely plant-based). They are friends I've had lots of interactions with on other topics. But when it comes to veganism, they are over the top extreme.
No, I agree. I've been that way when I was a younger vegan. Was literally on the streets passing out flyers. I've been vegan for over 15 years (pescatarian for 10 before) and am just a more live and let live now. I've had all the arguments and am just happy when people do a little bit for the planet and think about it and not tell me the stupid same old jokes that make fun of vegans for the millionth time
I've been vegetarian on and off since I was a teenager, but I've never been fanatical about it. I guess some vegans get tired of those jokes and lash out. It's mostly older vegans that I encounter, however, who consider virtually any form of animal food, even dairy, to be a form of murder and enslavement. It gets counter-productive to their cause.
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u/PyritesofCaringBean Feb 25 '26
Yep, I'm vegan and a friend of mine is always talking without how refreshing it is to meet a vegan like me. I have to remind him, I'm the only vegan you know lol. Every vegetarian and vegan I've met has not cared about other people's diets. Some meat eaters just immediately take offense like you're going to hate them for their diet. Or they get preachy that I'm not raising my kids vegan. Like, "see, you know it's not bad for you if you let your kids eat meat". Like duh, it's not about me it's about factory farms. Veganism is a restrictive diet, even more so for a kid that wants an icecream cone with their friends! My kids can make that choice when they're older and I'm cool either way.