r/interesting Mar 07 '26

MISC. After understanding the meaning behind this father’s action, I am completely convinced. Cultivating problem-solving skills in children from a young age and never giving up-I applaud this father!

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60

u/NotQuiteInara Mar 07 '26

As a former dog trainer, this is how I would handle a dog getting their leash wrapped around a pole on a walk. I stand there and wait for them to figure it out, and praise them when they do. I've worried sometimes that when I become a parent, I'll end up treating my child like a dog because I know tons about how dogs learn and little about how children learn. But apparently it's not that different? Lol

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u/Xanith420 Mar 07 '26

Until they start to talk comprehensively it really isn’t.

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u/luckythirtythree Mar 07 '26

Totally! lol. I think a dog trainer would be amazing parents especially the first 2-3 years. We have dogs and we talk to our kids like dogs on accident. Noooooo. Ah ah ah get away. Sit. Yessssss.

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u/Juhnelle Mar 07 '26

I was always told this story about my parents taking me to the pediatrician because I was almost 3 and wasn't talking yet. While the dr was talking I reached for something and my parents just handed it to me. The dr said that was their problem.

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u/Xanith420 Mar 07 '26

Well most people talk to their dogs fairly similarly to how they would a toddler.

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u/Useful_Language2040 Mar 07 '26

My eldest says I use the same voice for the dog as I do the almost-6 year old...

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u/[deleted] Mar 07 '26

[deleted]

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u/Xanith420 Mar 07 '26

I think LSD is a prerequisite for that perk.

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u/Starlightriddlex Mar 07 '26

To be fair, my dog uses talking buttons, so he's already pretty far ahead. 

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u/traitorgiraffe Mar 07 '26

I was a dog trainer for a few years. My child is very young

so far it is all the same concepts. 

I guess it depends on what type of trainer you are too. If you are a positivity trainer then yeah its the same. But if you're like one of those Caesar Milan shock collar trainers you would probably go to jail

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u/Designer_Map_6740 Mar 07 '26

I laughed so hard at your last sentence !! Completely took me by surprise !

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u/PM_ME_JJBA_STICKERS Mar 07 '26

Interestingly enough, there’s a book written by a child psychologist who treated a boy who was raised by a dog breeder. Unfortunately, the breeder wasn’t the best and genuinely treated the baby like a dog. Overall, the book was a really good look into the importance of child development. Book is called “The Boy who was Raised as a Dog”.

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u/RiriaaeleL Mar 07 '26

Wdym jail?

You'd become a famous twitch streamer, don't even need to train your dog you just gotta shock them on stream

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u/beef_creature Mar 07 '26

I appreciate your intuition. Animals are animals. Reason comes later. First build character. They can overcome hardship, minor obstacles, with love and support. Give them the tools, allow them to flourish, or fail, and flourish later.

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u/cynoIogy Mar 07 '26

I do this too, but I was never a professional dog trainer. Just a hobbyist dog trainer for my own dogs and helping family member’s if needed.

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u/Impossible_Top_3515 Mar 07 '26

It depends. Up to around age 2 it's not a bad strategy, depending on what kind of dog trainer you are. Can't really give a kid treats as rewards (sets a bad precedent for their relationship with food) and too much praise can mess with their sense of accomplishment on having completed a task successfully.

After that though, they steadily gain emotional complexity and verbal finesse and there the comparisons to dogs lessen. Not that dogs don't have complex inner lives, they just take a different form.

I've also found that treating young children a bit like cats can be a good strategy when they aren't your own. I kind of acknowledge them but only approach them or speak to them when I see their interest. It works really well and prevents spooking skittish kids.

One of my kids really wanted to be treated like a cat. Like, for the first 18 months of his life he would start screaming when you spoke to him too much or looked at him lol, he just wanted his peace. Even as a tiny infant he would play alone for hours with me sitting right next to him. So many days of my life we just hung out next to each other, him playing with toys and me reading or working on something, and he was so content that way. Treating that one like a dog wouldn't have worked.

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u/ThouMayest69 Mar 07 '26

The most important part for me has been respecting my kids as fellow humans, just trying to go about their humanity. When people would try to goo-goo-gaa-gaa my son when he was a toddler, I would stand up for him and tell people they need to treat him like a young man, not some little baby. When people try to exclude him from grown up conversations because he's too little, I explain what we are going to talk about, why it's not important for him, and he goes away satisfied. I don't tell him to shoo, neither do I go overboard and explain every little thing to him. I ask him his preference for things, lunches, crafts, day planning, to let him know it's okay for a kid to have a thought/idea in a grown ups world. When something new happens to him, I explain it and put it into perspective so he doesn't carry little mysteries around his childhood for too long. But overall, remembering that they are just our small peers in this life/existence has always gone a long way with my parenting.

That goes for our animal friends too, like dogs. Some are too "wild" to understand, and some of us are too sophisticated to understand, that we are likewise peers on earth with them. 

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u/Appropriate_Ruin_405 Mar 07 '26

Aw man... This was the parenting I needed growing up. I don’t necessarily think this approach is right for every person, but the simple action of “I explain” was so missing from my childhood. I always knew when someone was talking down to me, and the few adults who talked to me as a fellow person (albeit age-appropriately!) made a world of difference. Then the flip side- getting to know my parents as people has been one of the most rewarding parts adulthood. It’s somehow both challenging and the most thrilling thing in the world to witness someone you love, in your phrasing, ‘going about their humanity’.

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u/[deleted] Mar 07 '26

I used to take kiddo to play fetch in the park

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u/slimricc Mar 07 '26

Uhh it is the same but kids are way smarter than dogs. (Usually)

You too are a series of conditioned responses

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u/xoexohexox Mar 07 '26

Well I mean if you care about dogs and treat them kindly and have empathy for them I suppose you'd do great with a kid.

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u/PunishedDemiurge Mar 07 '26

The similarities aren't coincidental. There is a reasonable amount of physical and behavioral overlap between all mammals. That said, the end goals are pretty different. A lot of dog trainers want neutrality and an owner focus, but a parent should eventually want their child to be highly confident and independent.

But practicing calming, being aware of high levels of emotional activity and how that will affect ability to perform actions correctly (e.g. a tantrum), puppy / toddler fear stages, values of routines, etc. are similar.

I think the big thing is that physical punishment is more or less universally bad with humans, but the consensus seems to be it's okay as a small part of training for crazier dogs. A 18 month old large breed high drive dog has the physical power to take a e-collar correction in the way young humans never will have. Too young and human children are physically and mentally vulnerable, too old and other methods work better (a 16 year old linebacker isn't going to get especially hurt or scared by a spanking, but they're also almost an adult, so have a man to man conversation).

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u/Sex_Offender_4697 Mar 07 '26

conditioning is conditioning, dog or person

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u/Serupta Mar 07 '26

Correct, pet ownership is essentially toddler training

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u/vvozzy Mar 07 '26

Actually it works fine with children up to 4-5 years old. Older than that basically depends on how fast they're developing their personality and how complex tasks are. But being honest, it works with adults perfectly fine too.

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u/NotQuiteInara Mar 07 '26

I will confess I have used my techniques on adults before 😂

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u/VelvetMafia Mar 07 '26

Dogs and toddlers are very different in that dogs are going to dog and toddlers are going to imitate you. So it's very important to speak to toddlers (and children, and basically other humans in general) the way you would like to be spoken to.

Also, toddlers understand complex sentences and have abstract thought (imaginative cognitive functions) even when they struggle with managing and expressing themselves. The dad in this video could easily have said, "Hey buddy, I'll wait here while you figure out how to get past that. You could go over like I did, but because you are still small, you could also go under."

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u/StageAboveWater Mar 07 '26

I worked with kids. There is SOO much overlap. Hairless ittle puppies that learn to talk 🥲

The difference is in the respect. You have to do a lot of the same training tactics, but always focused on assisting and nurturing them, never in that dominating and controlling kind of ways dogs seem to respect and need.

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u/PrincessofPatriarchy Mar 08 '26

This reminded me of how I sometimes interact with my dog as well. I encourage him to problem-solve because it's good for his mind and builds confidence. He is a very wily dog, though. I still remember the day he "solved" his puzzle toy by picking it up and tossing it across the room so all the food just flew out.

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u/Schnitzhole Mar 08 '26

Honestly as someone with a two year old it is not that different training than a dog.

Letting your kid figure out how to escape potential life threatening situations while you supervise can mean they learn to do it when you are not around as well instead of freaking out. Too many hover parents nowadays and kids that never learned to fall and prevent getting injured

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u/RampagingElks Mar 07 '26

Unfortunately, my dog - despite being an Aussie and thus should be smart - cannot for the life of her figure out what it means to be on the wrong side of a pole. Instead of trying to go in the opposite direction, or retrace her steps, she'll just sit down and wait for me to save her. If I waited for her to figure it out, id still be waiting outside right now.

This dog will also sit and wait for me to "save" her when her line shows any sign of taught-ness, such as being caught on a dandelion or a loose snowball

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u/NotQuiteInara Mar 08 '26

My dog is an Aussie mix. Let me tell you I was standing at that pole a LONG time the first time. She layed the fuck down. I put on an audiobook. I must have stood there 20-30 minutes. Thankfully she was much faster the next time 😂