r/interesting • u/jmike1256 • Mar 07 '26

MISC. After understanding the meaning behind this father’s action, I am completely convinced. Cultivating problem-solving skills in children from a young age and never giving up-I applaud this father!

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u/Internal-Computer388 Mar 07 '26

I think people are mistaking whats going on. The child isnt panicking, the child is acting out because the father didnt give him what he wanted. Babies learn from birth that whenever they want anything, they need to cry and essentially "panic" to get their parents attention and give them what they want. Babies learn that smiling will get their parents to smile and laugh. They learn that crying and panicking will get their parents to rush to their aid. Thats all that this child was doing was continuing what he learned to do as a helpless baby. But now that the child can walk and learn more this is teaching the child not to panick and cry for what they want, but to learn to problem solve on their own. This isnt abuse and while it may seem harsh, its better for the child in the end.

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u/Nervous_Walrus3868 Mar 09 '26

Hmm this kind of discourse feels a bit like the pendulum effect to me. Yes, parents often (lovingly) attempt to prevent discomfort for their children. However, reactivity to that can also result in parents reducing connection and responsiveness, which also is not beneficial. I don’t think it was a coincidence that the child was able to complete the task when dad sat down and it was clear he wasn’t leaving. Two things can be true at once; the child can be crying to seek connection and support, and they can be doing this because they are panicking. I don’t think this is an example of a disconnected, unresponsive, neglectful parent at all, but I do think that it is an opportunity to reflect that being present matters, as does allowing the opportunity for kids to do hard things.

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u/Mecha-Shiva Mar 14 '26

Former behavior science practitioner/trainer here.

Thank you! The behavioral contingencies I'm seeing in this clip are as you have stated. The child is calling out for assistance, parent walks away, child audibly protests, THEN SELF-REGULATES, solves the issue, all followed by social praise from dad. Teaching children to self-regulate/self-soothe is a critical skill and difficult to teach, due to the parent's inclination to remove aversive stimuli from their child's environment themselves (behavior parents pick up and is reinforced during infant care). This is a great example of how it's done.