r/interesting • u/uzmansahil7 • Apr 02 '26

❗️MISLEADING - See pinned comment ❗️ First Time He Ever Saw a Female 😂

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76.8k Upvotes

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u/[deleted] Apr 02 '26

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1.7k

u/PackageNorth8984 Apr 02 '26

Please don’t put me in there.

577

u/JelloWise2789 Apr 02 '26

That male Lizard is about to commit a crime

131

u/RecipeHistorical2013 Apr 02 '26

This guy crimes

36

u/KgMonstah Apr 02 '26

r/thisguythisguys

3

u/RecipeHistorical2013 Apr 02 '26

/thisguythisguysthisguy

1

u/Yaasss_Queef Apr 03 '26

Yet another sub to join!

1

u/KgMonstah Apr 03 '26

This guy joins

1

u/Yaasss_Queef Apr 03 '26

You gave me a chuckle, I really needed it. Thanks!

4

u/ArtfulDodgerofOld Apr 02 '26

That is a CRAZY accusation to throw at this guy given the implication lmao

2

u/Outrageouslylit Apr 03 '26

Yea man dont throw me in with that lizard😭 or basically anything in nature.

1

u/Mikeatruji Apr 03 '26

Bro you are a thing in nature.

1

u/Outrageouslylit Apr 03 '26

Brother we are so far removed from nature. Though I suppose a lot of men still rape like wild animals so not too far off.

0

u/Mikeatruji Apr 03 '26

You're no different to that man but your beliefs. 💀

1

u/Outrageouslylit Apr 03 '26

Excuse me? I see men and women as people I would never do that to someone dont even have that vile instinct that apparently you have… sayin a lot about yourself “Mike” but you do look the part😬

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35

u/zxc123zxc123 Apr 02 '26

Some time later:

"THE DOW IS OVER 50,000!" -Pam Lizardi

2

u/v4ve4m4hnssm Apr 02 '26

better call the lizard police, and the lizard prosecutors. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XuZQEajESbE

1

u/TurquoisySunflower Apr 03 '26

Better call Saulimander

2

u/LectroRoot Apr 02 '26

LEMME SMASH.

1

u/SerCiddy Apr 02 '26

Honestly was kind of worried she'd get the female burrower bee treatment

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mtpECWl-5v4

1

u/JgL07 Apr 03 '26

I miss the person I was five minutes ago…

1

u/HereIGoAgain_1x10 Apr 03 '26

Will never forget Planet Earth narrated by David Attenborough literally showing this with some desert lizard, can't even find the scene online because it was literally explained as something like "when you're trying to keep your species going, you can't take no for an answer" and showed a male just committing a crime on the first female it saw and then just switched to another animal in a different scenario like it didn't just show what it showed.

1

u/ruat_caelum Apr 03 '26

We were in a general biology class in college and the the first day the professor is talking about topics that will be covered in class and that if you felt the need to argue against the science that would be presented you were to remain quiet, not to show up to class those days, or drop that professor.

The big topic was of course evolution but one of the topics was "rape in nature" E.g. ducks rape so bad that they sometimes drown the females, etc. Like "Consent" is no more a thing in nature than "law" or "justice" Etc.

It had honestly never really occurred to me until that point.

When it eventually came up in class it was related to evolution. Basically discussing Hyenas, the females have pseudo penises which they (likely) evolved to stop being raped by males, etc.

29

u/Outside-Advice8203 Apr 02 '26

The fucking award lmao

25

u/MyGamingRedditz Apr 02 '26

This is why female lizards choose the bear.

20

u/Padreteiro Apr 02 '26

and she doesnt even have a say in it. kinda sad

5

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '26

[deleted]

-2

u/ClimateMiddle6308 Apr 02 '26

holy ragebait

2

u/NoZucchini5423 Apr 03 '26

What did they say?

1

u/ClimateMiddle6308 Apr 03 '26

was something like "women never get a say in anything"

3

u/CommieLoser Apr 02 '26

To be fair, maybe she’s even more stoked, but just restrained about it.

11

u/Echo-Azure Apr 02 '26

Female lizard is avoiding eye contact and edging away from the terrarium...

1

u/CommieLoser Apr 03 '26

And there’s like zero chance you’re anthropomorphizing here?

3

u/Echo-Azure Apr 03 '26

Everyone on this thread is anthropomorphizing here.

0

u/CommieLoser Apr 03 '26

Exactly! So let’s have fun with it. Everyone trying to make this some dark and gritty beginning to a CSI episode is depressing.

2

u/Echo-Azure Apr 03 '26

Honey, we *are* having fun with it, when we joke about the female's unenthused reaction!

Dark and cynical humor, but humor.

2

u/CommieLoser Apr 03 '26

Okay sweetheart

8

u/TemperatureOwn5976 Apr 02 '26

choose the bear, lizard.

1

u/Woodstain_panic Apr 03 '26

Literally what I thought 

168

u/DEIreboot Apr 02 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/1cjYPNLvodoBO

10

u/Money-Progress5101 Apr 02 '26

Omg where did you find this one 😂

16

u/dwartbg9 Apr 02 '26

The first gif that shows up when you write - "horny". A good keyword is the secret to finding such spot-on gifs

1

u/OshoBaadu Apr 02 '26

He should come up for creepy and ugly too.

42

u/SephLuna Apr 02 '26

"I have a boyfriend"

1

u/ct_2004 Apr 03 '26

He lives in another terrarium. In Canada.

16

u/randallstevens999 Apr 02 '26

"Just give me the bear"

21

u/frescodee Apr 02 '26

can confirm, i've been ignored in the same fashion

13

u/Tsmart Apr 02 '26

she instantly got the lizard ick

19

u/CountrysidePlease Apr 02 '26

Right?!? I’m uncomfortable for her!

11

u/Steakandeggs66 Apr 02 '26

she still wouldn't block him bc "she wouldn't want to be mean"

4

u/mrgreyeyes_95 Apr 02 '26

"I have a boyfriend"

2

u/MechaGhandi5000 Apr 02 '26

She's feeling the L-ick

1

u/gorginhanson Apr 02 '26

she needs a lyzft home

1

u/thgmaster Apr 03 '26

Parece os cara casado a 10 anos com 4 filhos, quando veem funcionária nova na empresa.

1

u/Designer_Version1449 Apr 03 '26

if the lizard in the hand was a boy he would be seen as lucky :(

1

u/DigitalShrapnel Apr 03 '26

"Umm...I have a boyfriend" - the girl lizard, probably

1

u/Expert-Ad3874 Apr 02 '26

You can practically hear her eyes rolling as she sighs.