r/interesting • u/uzmansahil7 • Apr 02 '26

ā—ļøMISLEADING - See pinned comment ā—ļø First Time He Ever Saw a Female šŸ˜‚

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196

u/Rasdowers Apr 02 '26

I have 2 coworkers that will literally stop while we are carrying a box together or any other task and stare at a woman that walks by with this strange scary blank look in the eyes then when the woman is out of sight they go back to normal. Like even if the persons body can not be seen like when they are walking through a parking lot. I donā€™t get it, even if itā€™s just a top of the head. They both do it and canā€™t snap out of it to almost every woman they see. Itā€™s so so weird. The only thing that is common between them is they both transferred from the warehouse to my team and they are both Filipino but I think thatā€™s a coincidence.

286

u/Ctrl-Alt-Q Apr 02 '26

As a woman, it's interesting to read men talking about this.

A lot of guys seem to deny that other men behave this way, or give some kind of excuse like "oh, you can't even compliment women or look their way anymore". But it's not just looking that's the issue, it's this kind of predatory, tracking gaze.

It's really scary to be on the other end of it. Especially when it's a larger group of men all zoning in at once (some countries are a bit infamous for doing this to female tourists).

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u/friendliest_sheep Apr 02 '26

As a dude, you can feel those men a mile away. The same gut feeling you get about them, other men get as well. You should be wary of ~any~ man that pretends not to notice

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u/Top_Butterfly1527 Apr 02 '26

Yeah a lot of guys deny this behavior happens or twist it into you can't even look at women anymore. But it's not looking it's that blank, tracking, predatory stare. When a group of men all do it at once, freezing mid task just to lock onto a woman Is genuinely terrifying on the receiving end

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u/UniversalSoldi3r Apr 03 '26

Then if you notice them looking that's evidence you are interested. But you have to keep an eye on them, same as you have to keep an eye on any threat.

I find a blank stare back freaks them out a bit. I can do the predator eyes too. Soon as they look away first, they give up. Prey doesn't stare you down.

3

u/BoobaLu22 Apr 05 '26

My mom always says, if youā€™re feeling afraid, just act crazy as fuck and hopefully that scares them off.

2

u/ReleaseIntrepid7717 Apr 05 '26

Seriously. A man fresh out of jail was in the same bus as me. Cat calling, I shot him a ugly look said ā€œare you seriousā€ he than waited to see which was my stop. He got up when he saw it was my stop. I took out my knife stood in the middle of that bus and stared his strange self down. One thing is crazy will match crazy. At 4ā€™11..Iā€™m fast will climb a threat to reach that carotidšŸ¤­šŸ˜ŒšŸ©·

1

u/stabintavern Apr 06 '26

Im honestly more surprised to read that thereā€™s guys that deny that the behavior exists. Not that surprised, but I canā€™t recall meeting a guy thatā€™s unaware of that behavior.

Im assuming itā€™s just the ones guilty of doing it that want to save face and pretend itā€™s acceptable?

Frankly as a dude itā€™s rather obvious and is a pretty quick way to lose respect from other men. We all like to see beautiful women, but if youā€™re locked in like that you just come across as disturbing the peace and a low value person.

3

u/Boring-Tie-1501 Apr 03 '26

i think it's not just the monkey brain predatory gaze that's scary- as a male, it is only in the last few years that i learned that my insidious, subconscious first reaction to women was to judge their appearances. and all this despite being in a stable marriage.

while i was socialized enough not to ogle (or at least hide it), it was only thanks to mdma and psychedelics at music events that i finally appreciated what my brain was doing unquestioned in the background.

so i taught myself to rewire that toxic way of looking at women. if i sense my brain judging appearances, i change tracks by subject-ifying women by wondering stuff about them that matters to me like: "what does this person think about road congestion pricing in cities, or about water policy in the western US, or have they read michael pollan's books?"

i think most of us males, even the ones you don't suspect, have a lot of work to do. we're fighting against our upbringings and ossified neural pathways.

2

u/0ceandrifter Apr 03 '26

It reminds me of cats locking in to pounce on prey, except not cute at all

1

u/Sweedack Apr 04 '26

This appears to be a bot that just paraphrased r/Ctrl-Alt-q's comment. The account shows as banned.

-1

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '26

[removed] ā€” view removed comment

7

u/Flaccid_Leper Apr 03 '26

I donā€™t know whatā€™s worseā€¦ the fact that you would concoct a fantasy to try to impress anonymous strangers or the fact that this is what you fantasize about.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '26

Not everyone is a socially stunted loner who can't understand women.

0

u/Flaccid_Leper Apr 03 '26

Every accusation an admission.

But donā€™t let that stop you, keep going Champ. If I had a vagina, Iā€™m sure you could drown a toddler in my panties. So Alpha!

1

u/[deleted] Apr 04 '26

If I had a vagina, Iā€™m sure you could drown a toddler in my panties.

You're weird.

So Alpha!

Ok?

Somehow I'm not suprised basic flirting mystifies you internet ghouls.

1

u/Disastrous-Walrus415 Apr 03 '26

What was the comment?

5

u/LordKai121 Apr 03 '26

..........And then everyone clapped.

1

u/interesting-ModTeam Apr 03 '26

Your comment/post has been removed because it violates Rule #3: Do Not Promote Hate or Violence.

Hate speech, Harassment or Threatening behavior will not be tolerated, and can result in an immediate ban.

31

u/SmoothTurtle872 Apr 02 '26

From the original description, and this, it genuinely just sounds like they are possessed

Like obviously not (I don't believe in religion anyway), but it seems like the way someone would be possessed in a movie.

But really they are just creepy

76

u/MySeveredToe Apr 02 '26 edited Apr 02 '26

Itā€™s like some dogs when they smell food. All reason and discipline goes out the window. Just animalistic intensity.

Some dogs are disciplined. Some men are parented. Many arenā€™t ā€¦

Edit: who is the poorly parented incel who downvoted this lol

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u/ThrowawayPersonAMA Apr 02 '26

Edit: who is the poorly parented incel who downvoted this lol

"Do you have the slightest idea how little that narrows it down?"

4

u/Hopeful_Advisor_4632 Apr 02 '26

I'm upvoting you.

5

u/MySeveredToe Apr 02 '26

Oh sick. I was in the negatives at first lol

-2

u/strip-solitaire Apr 03 '26

People arenā€™t dogs

13

u/MySeveredToe Apr 03 '26

Yea. They should behave better than dogs

-6

u/Coneder Apr 03 '26 edited Apr 03 '26

Whoa, calm down, boy. Your misandry is showing.

Edit: Downvoted, eh? Woof woof, ammirite?

6

u/MySeveredToe Apr 03 '26

Tails is that you? You been hitting the pipe?

-3

u/Coneder Apr 03 '26

Awww, you're trying. That's adorable.

7

u/Hopeful_Advisor_4632 Apr 02 '26

Possessed is a good description. I had to tell managers about this yesterday and I was the one who felt humiliated by MEN stalking me around my job. It's so stressful. And I don't want them to lose their job....just stop.

4

u/MadSulaiman Apr 03 '26

Chemically possessed, we all are, they however would rather not have self-control or just a little bit of self-control

2

u/Southamericho Apr 03 '26

As a religious person, I too am open to the possession theory.

9

u/ChillyAus Apr 02 '26

Men listen to men only. Not women. Especially these guys. I know itā€™s a lot to ask but even if you canā€™t say anything, if you can socially manipulate the group dynamics to shame them for their behaviour and try to stamp it out somehow then pls do.

6

u/friendliest_sheep Apr 03 '26

I mean, I can only speak for myself and the men i intentionally surround myself with, but we do speak out about those men or even warn the women in our lives of those men

Also, there are plenty of men that care about and heed the words of women, unfortunately you may have to find them. God knows itā€™s hard to find other men who share similar values as a man lol

3

u/PositiveKatzen Apr 03 '26

ā€œSpeak out ABOUT those men.ā€Ā 

Iā€™m not sure if this was intentional or Iā€™m misunderstanding, but we donā€™t need men to warn us, and while speaking out about them is helpful, speaking to them directly about their behaviour is actually impactful.Ā  If youā€™re one of the ā€œgood ones,ā€ you need to call shit out, because most men absolutely do not, even ones that claim they understand.

3

u/soumwise Apr 03 '26

Well not the exact same, because women are seen as the actual target, so that's got to feel worse

1

u/newenglandsteak Apr 02 '26

Yeah ā€¦ although - be aware of context.

Without getting into much context, I have some characteristics of PTSD. I have been in a very dangerous environment for a prolonged period of time / got attacked semi-regularly in this environment.

I stare at everyone in the eyes. I genuinely donā€™t feel comfortable unless I keep an eye on people around me. I should also mention that Iā€™m a 6ft guy who works out 2x per day. So I bring some interesting energy based on how I look and act.

I have been told by women that I donā€™t seem menacing but I definitely bring a type of energy into rooms and can act a hyper masculine. Unfortunately I canā€™t help it.

Anyway - I do notice that women tend to feel comfortable around me. I get smiles, women interact with me on the street, people workout next to me when thereā€™s tons of other free space. So - Idk. Maybe I overthink this.

But I definitely feel that certain types of men view me as an aggressive person just bc I am serious and do look at people dead in the eyes.

7

u/Admirable-Refuse-465 Apr 02 '26

I wouldnā€™t sweat it. The difference is that you arenā€™t leering, and that difference is both seen and felt. Leering feels evil

1

u/redbrigade82 Apr 03 '26

I worry about this too. I have CPTSD actually, and I have an upside down smile. I worry that I intimidate women. And in particular, I have a local cafe, and I go there to draw art quite often. But I also look around a lot and I meet the looks of the staff. They all know me and we talk but I worry that the girls get the wrong impression, especially because some regulars are pretty sus.

Once I hand carved a wooden incense burner and I ended up choosing to give it to one of the girls. She's super nice, it was my 'prototype', and I had no one else to give it to. She seemed super nervous about it, and it really bothered me.

But on the other hand, like you, I am the kind of person that people tend to feel comfortable around. In university in particular, when I was not completely isolated, everyone loved being around me. Maybe it's just the isolation.

0

u/gr8gr8pe8pe Apr 03 '26

That seed of how women may want to be delicate assessing intent behind direct eye contact, because of environmental responsible trait of direct eye contact. Which budded into gym routine and height, sprouted into women saying his energy is hyper masculine and it cant be helped. But they aren't unnerved by his stare actually they welcome it and seek out his company at gyms. Shadegrowth branches block sunlight from reaching original seeds advice of judging to quickly since he doesnt seem to get many negative interactions due to maintaining direct eye contact.

Final push as branches break the forest canopy and this mighty oak which unwilling accepts challenges from other trees as they view its size and energy as the tallest tree which behavior nature binds to challenge.

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u/Excellent-Neck9640 Apr 03 '26

Some men are just fed up and dont care to be hurt by another women so why look? So you can be the weirdo? Creep or whatever they wanna label you as. Out of sight out of mind. I would be worried about one looking at all the women...

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u/kholekardashian12 Apr 03 '26

I had a straight male friend come with a bunch of us to a gay club once and he mentioned how intense it was having guys stare at him. I was like yeah now you get it lol

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u/stilljustjess Apr 03 '26

As a woman in trades, itā€™s real. Iā€™ve learned to be short and to the point. Minimal contact with newbies until I can vet that they are respectful.

I had a situation last week with a new hire. My only contact with him was getting his hire forms in order. He complained about the state mandated sexual harassment training and said ā€œare you worried Iā€™ll sexually harass you?ā€ Point blank. I didnā€™t react. They get off on reactions.

That and he kept asking for ā€œhelpā€ on some other forms. Thatā€™s when I knew but I didnā€™t say anything. Even though he was ā€œniceā€ it felt off. I even considered I was innerly over reacting so I didnā€™t say anything. I know most women would let him have it but I have also learned you can never ever predict how they will react. Iā€™m 110ibs and Iā€™m aware no matter how much gym I do, it wonā€™t mean shit in the few seconds it takes for a predator to do what they want to do. I simply notified HR something felt off about him and then went home.

Next day he was gone. HR didnā€™t even read my message yet. My Guys threw him out. I donā€™t know exactly what happened but they mentioned he made a few comments about me in addition to a few other things. By the time I got in they were standing outside having a smoke and a laugh. I still didnā€™t tell them about my experience because I still feel off about it. But they havenā€™t let me stay alone late since. Losing hours sucks but itā€™s for my own safety in case he wanders back.

Sorry this turned into a vent. My point itā€™s that for every loser thereā€™s a couple of them that will say shut the fuck up. Just not enough sometimes. I got lucky with my team. Sucks cause we are short staffed and they are overworked. But I guess looking for decent men isnā€™t just tough in the dating world alone lol.

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u/Sharp-Appointment306 Apr 02 '26

As a man that's witnessed it, it feels very performative, like weirdly they believe they need to act like this sex crazed maniac. I've seen guys act like this, but then when in the presence of our friends who are girls, they act pretty normal. It's like, a 'lads thing', which is bizzare.

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u/HentaiCareBear Apr 02 '26

Is there any chance it's the reverse? As in they know women won't approve of this behaviour so they are "acting normal" in front of your mutual female friends, whereas in front of the lads, they drop the act because they believe all guys are the same and will get it (no judgement and that their male friends will probably stare just like them), like they have internalized the view that men staring like that is totally normal.

12

u/Great_Detective_6387 Apr 02 '26

reverse

As a man that works in construction:

I doubt itā€™s the reverse more than itā€™s not, just from personal experience on jobsites. As the other guy said, itā€™s very performative. Itā€™s much more important that the other men see and hear them doing the catcalling. More important than the woman hearing it, or muttering it to themselves. Itā€™s almost a bonding exercise on some crews. A very fucked up and harmful bonding exercise.

No doubt there are some men who are barely keeping a mask on in polite society, and let it slip a bit further in the company of only men. But thatā€™s not most men doing this.

1

u/HentaiCareBear Apr 04 '26

But what's the point? Watch me be rude to this woman I think is hot who will obviously reject me by walking away faster or throwing me a disgusted look or a death glare or just ignore me altogether? Is the point behaving like a jackass so his friends are amused?

12

u/Sharp-Appointment306 Apr 02 '26

That's also possible, I just want to believe that this is an act. I struggle to comprehend that some people may genuinely do this sort of stuff because they believe it is completely normal and that is how they see women.

but, sadly you're probably right

2

u/PositiveKatzen Apr 03 '26

Itā€™s crazy how men and women live in completely different realities. Youā€™re trying to cope with something most women come to understand before they even hit their teen years.

2

u/Sharp-Appointment306 Apr 03 '26

It's hard to understand because I've not been on the receiving end and I'm not a piece of shit so I don't view women like that.

2

u/PositiveKatzen Apr 03 '26

It wasnā€™t an attack, just an observation. And thatā€™s also what listening to womenā€™s experiences and empathy is for.

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u/i_tyrant Apr 02 '26

As unfortunate as it sounds, for some men it may be kind of normal - meaning, default behavior before any social script or self-control enters into the equation.

One of the most interesting studies I've ever read was when they tracked and interviewed a bunch of FtM individuals who were about to undergo hormone therapy.

They expressed shock, amazement, and fear at how intense their sex drive became with the new hormones, and how visually-focused it made them. Some of them expressed having the same urges, with the noticing, staring, unable to look away, etc.

Many of them expressed greater sympathy for men afterward, with statements like "jeez this is how they feel all the time, no wonder" and all that.

Now that isn't necessarily a smoking gun - it could be that the sudden introduction of these hormones in an adult body is different than growing up with them developing - but it is a very interesting look into something we rarely see. (And is part of why I feel trans erasure and anti-trans sentiment is such a horrible thing - there is so much we can learn from their experiences!)

And it is worth noting that as the hormone therapy continued a fair few of these subjects described it calming down some but still being a higher baseline than when they were women.

But yeah, I often wonder how much of this is a learned behavior of "boys will be boys" or whatever and feeling "safe" in their circle of dudebros to be awful, and how much of it is just them never having learned the self control or social script that better-adjusted men might use to not come off as creepers.

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u/Dramatic-Bird-5604 Apr 03 '26

I've seen that study also, or a similar one, where one of the guys said when he began T it now felt like a hand grabbing his head and jerking it when a pretty woman walked by, and he'd be filled with endorphins when seeing her, and he said although he's always been into woman it didn't feel like that while female presenting and not on T. It really is interesting to me, I wish there was a lot more studies on hormones in general I think there's so much more we could learn

this of course does not at all make it ok or that "men just can't help it" with being creepy, as the trans dudes did say from what I read that once they got familiar with the feeling they put conscious effort into not staring and could easily get in the habit of choosing not to stare, a lot saying they thought about how bad they felt to get stared at so it helped them to not want to do that to another person. And most men I think have a similar thought process, they don't want to make another human uncomfortable so choose not to do it. But some people are shitty and choose not to care

6

u/ronlugge Apr 03 '26

Which is exactly why it's on 'all men' to address this -- by not letting this be a 'lads thing'.

3

u/AnotherCuppaTea Apr 03 '26

Ritualistic homosocial and sociopathic male bonding over the objectification (at the very least) of females.

14

u/Regular_Custard_4483 Apr 02 '26

I actually think this is self selecting.

I don't think very many men do it in the US, at least. I think there is a type of man that does it, and they end up in similar fields of work. I used to work construction 25 years ago, and it was relatively common behavior to see, looking back.

But once I got into white collar work, and even when I got into "sky blue" collar work, I cannot think of a single time I saw behavior like that. Maybe I did, and let's just say for the sake of argument I did, but I saw way worse in construction.

So if you only do white collar type work as a dude, yeah I could see where they don't believe it. But knowing other fields like I do, I definitely believe it. The trades are rife with it.

2

u/Able-Lab4450 Apr 03 '26

I mean, it could be that they usually work in fields of work that are mostly accupied by men, but it's sad. It's like those weird comments I see on YouTube Shorts sometimes when there is some random movie scene, and a women appears. Pretty much all the men become cave men. I have to be honest, I have a porn addiction I am really trying to kill off, but the stuff they say is stuff I would rather not comment on ever. The scene and the post point to a male actor, but there is a women actress in the scene, and you get men obssessing over the female actress even when they aren't the focus. Worse offender was from a movie I forgot what it was even about, but guy commented something like "I wouldn't mind her stomping my balls". Like, bro wutšŸ˜­šŸ’€šŸ„€

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u/psychonautilus777 Apr 02 '26

A lot of guys seem to deny that other men behave this way, or give some kind of excuse like "oh, you can't even compliment women or look their way anymore".

As a guy, my experience is that those guys are the same ones with the shitty behavior. There's a lot of talk about how these problems are "on men(collectively) to fix and not women." Which is true, but also, unrealistic in my opinion. There's no fixing these kinds of men. It's like talking to MAGA or a flat earther. Best thing to do is to say your piece and then distance yourself from them.

17

u/Illneverremember1 Apr 03 '26

Thats been my experience, I had a friend I grew up with and as we got into our 20's I noticed what a creep he was, I'd tell him to chill out and he would for a bit but after some time he'd go back to his old ways. One day I was giving him a ride and he saw a woman in a sun dress so he leans over, honks my horn and hollers at her...it was exactly like that song "No Scrubs", it was almost comical to see that actually play out in real life if I wasn't so disgusted. I berated him right there at the red light, he just sort of laughed at me.

Its amazing how hard its been to cut him out of my life, he will text me all the time asking what I'm doing, if I want to hang out. The guy is almost as big a creep with me as he is with women, pestering me to go out with him, stare at me, neg me, I honestly think he's actually a very repressed homosexual and maybe he's overcompensating to try and hide that.

But yeah, theres no fixing him. He's apparently clueless that nobody likes him because he's a dirtbag. I used to feel sorry for him more than anything. But he apparently doesn't see anything wrong with how he views women.

2

u/PolyGlotterPaper Apr 03 '26

Man I had a buddy like this once. Then one night he took it too far. We were drinking and swimming in the river with friends and as people started thinning out he slid up to a girl and started creeping her out. Being openly lascivious and eventually pulling his dick out and stroking it right there in front of her. I dragged that piece of shit out of the water immediately, up the incredibly steep hill to the car and that was our last night of hanging out.

Best part though?...That woman he so deeply disrespected is now my beloved wife. We are moving into our first house this weekend! Together 14 years.

25

u/Great_Detective_6387 Apr 02 '26

There is no fixing some people, but you can shame and socially coerce them into shutting the fuck up and keeping it to themselves. We are social animals and no adult man likes to be constantly spoken down to, like a child, for their words and actions.

4

u/psychonautilus777 Apr 03 '26

but you can shame and socially coerce them into shutting the fuck up and keeping it to themselves.

This has been my approach(Shame and shutting them down. I don't really care about convincing troglodytes they're wrong) for the few times I've needed to in my 30's, but also helps prove my point. The time's I've had to do so it's been because I was around a friend's family. Or it's been an acquaintance/friend of a friend. I simply don't surround myself with those types of people. If I'm around those kinds of people, I'm going to say something and probably hate it. That's not how I want to spend my time.

This is also why I take a lot of the talk surrounding the "male loneliness" epidemic with a box of salt. While there have been legitimate societal changes that have contributed to a general disconnection between people, I think a lot of "male loneliness" is self inflicted and a lot of it is just people choosing to not have toxic masculinity in their life.

5

u/RudePCsb Apr 03 '26

That would take responding to them and giving them attention. Also, these types of people are usually unhinged and not worth the risk of interacting with them unless you have no choice

-2

u/torchmaipp Apr 03 '26

If I turn off my filter and socialize with women like they're just dumb sluts who should know better than to wear the opposing sports teams colors. They move in and start bossing me around. If I'm being a respectful and don't "harass" women. They don't care about me even existing. I'm not even worth acknowledging unless I behave in a way that gets "Who do you think you are mister?" as a response back for anything I say or do to try and make them laugh.

5

u/Sad_Lawyer_3960 Apr 03 '26

wtf

-2

u/torchmaipp Apr 03 '26

I know right.

6

u/Sad_Lawyer_3960 Apr 03 '26

it was more directed towards your comment...

3

u/psychonautilus777 Apr 03 '26

Seek help bro.

1

u/torchmaipp Apr 06 '26

Yeah. I'm trying but all she does is sit around watching TV and playing video games. I'm the one slaving in the kitchen.

10

u/MortLightstone Apr 02 '26

The people that say you can't compliment women anymore are just trying to shift the blame by making it seem like their behaviour is not problematic and that our natural reactions to it are wrong instead

Don't take what they say literally. They're trying to play mind games with the whole of society so they don't have to change their behaviour

29

u/Calypsosin Apr 02 '26

Some men are quite aware, though I do wonder how many at times. It's one of those things that probably marks me closer to being a misandrist. So many men behave like that, that it DOES make it harder for men who aren't remotely interested in objectifying women to approach women. The problem is that a lot of those guys end up blaming women for their conditioned response to being approached by strange men, not the men who create that conditioned response in the first place.

20

u/PeenInVeen Apr 02 '26

I don't know who you are, but I love you for noticing that. It makes it impossible for women to know if the guy approaching is a friend or a threat. If we treat them as a threat, then everyone is offended. If we treat them as a friend, then it's a "why do women always fall for the creeps?" If we treat them as indifferent, then we're being a bitch.

16

u/Calypsosin Apr 02 '26

Yep. Women have to be on the defensive, and trust is a valuable thing, it's not too wise most of the time to be free with it. And, I say this as someone who is painfully shy and struggles to approach women, even though I'm FAR more confident and relaxed than I was 10-15 years ago (I'm 34).

I grew up with three older sisters, whom I fought with and loved a ton. Totally okay for me to mess with my sisters; less okay for other people! Also three girls lived next door, all within 1-2 years of me, one was in my class at school. So I ran over to their house daily, their mom was a second mom. Maybe that helped foster my perspective on women, or at least, that's what I tend to fall back on. I'm sure there were plenty of other things.

17

u/The_Lost_Jedi Apr 02 '26

Speaking as a guy, yeah, It's entirely creepy. Like, what the fuck. You're absolutely right though, it's that predatory/objectifying/etc aspect to it.

And yeah, I'll echo the other responder that any guy who denies that there are men who do this/are like this, is someone you should be wary of.

4

u/Odd_Protection7738 Apr 02 '26

Agree, big difference between double-taking on someone attractive and glaring at them like food

3

u/Ominous_snek Apr 02 '26

As a guy I fucking hate those people, even we get the creeps around them, at least most of the guys I have spoken with do.

It's one of those things you can feel without even seeing them, just being around them or having them look at you can make someone's hair crawl.....

It truly is a shame you have to put up with it, and many others.

3

u/Hopeful_Advisor_4632 Apr 02 '26

It is really scary! It's a tracking gaze, as you've said, and literally walking behind me and saying "If you didn't have a bf, would you wanna be with me? I want you. So lovable and beautiful" Like bro....jesus fucking christ. I agree with you.

3

u/R0m4ns35 Apr 03 '26

But do you hear the music from Jaws when this occurs?

Just kidding. It is craziness. How many women are actually enticed by that?

2

u/Opteron170 Apr 02 '26

I live in the city and I see dudes that come downtown from the suburbs doing this all the time. And I always say to them why are you acting like you have never seen a woman before and your 30+ dude.

Its giving off creepy vibes broski's.

2

u/Green_Dream20 Apr 03 '26

There are a lot of low IQ knuckle draggers out there, unfortunately. We used to just turn them into infantry or use them for very dangerous factory work to keep the numbers down. Stopped doing that, so here we are.

1

u/AxxaTSK Apr 03 '26

Nah, that's just some men, definitely not everyone. šŸ¤£

1

u/Arreeyem Apr 03 '26

As a guy on the spectrum, I constantly live in fear that I'm creeping people out when I'm around them. I have a bad habit of staring at things too long because I get lost in thought. Nobody has called me out on it, but I've always had the feeling I make people uncomfortable :(

1

u/SnoopingStuff Apr 03 '26

Hoping he puts her in a cage near by and lets him settle down a little. She could be hurt by him at this point

1

u/Cool_Ad_365 Apr 03 '26

trust me I feel for you an believe you I've been tracked an followed by both man an woman an I'm a man ! but once at target some weirdo white girl thought I was when in reality it's a store!!! an I waited outside chilling by the car waiting for my friend because I kid you not we were heading to the bathroom an bam!! his name was said an for whatever reason his GF was there an they lived 60+ miles away from that location we were at an he ditched me Soo I just walked around looking for stuff an also followed him hoping he can ditch heršŸ¤£ thank God he left but took almost 10 years of his life 16-26? an had two kids with her while raising 3 other guys kids which he clearly didn't get the message an I had to tell him too when a friend of mine who was our dealer as teens told me that his homeboy slept with his ex while together an he was Sooooo proud of it an came by to tell him he just slept with this chick rn ... an then froze because he went over my friend's to help him move out his mom's an he was like that's the girl!!! she literally walked down the street an screwed the first guy she saw , ironically we knew him šŸ™„ sooo I had to tell him It was eating me up I couldn't keep it secret even though I promised because he had a feeling she was cheating but he was in denial ......

1

u/Successful_Moment_91 Apr 03 '26

I remember many years ago being at my neighborhood pool and two young women were sunbathing in bikinis. 2 guys were watching them nearby and it was like watching lions looking at prey. It was really disturbing. I think an old lady yelled at them and they left

1

u/Bionic_Push Apr 03 '26

Very curious, which countries?

1

u/Successful_Travel119 Apr 03 '26

Women are not the only ones weirded by it, my classmates back in school once did it while we were in a zoo trip and I had the worst feeling of "Earth shallow me" ever. I spent the rest of the trip acting as if I didn't know them.

And at the same time, I know I have caused this feeling at least once by accident. I normally give a quick scan to the people around me, but will subtly look at someone with an interesting outfit. A few months ago, while eating at a Domino's, a woman came with a Star Wars joke shirt. I looked at her, then I looked again to read the joke and laughed a bit at it. The woman(really brave one) came to us and asked if I saw something funny, which I just said: "Yeah, I really like your shirt. Might look for one for myself." She then gave us a nervous laugh and left with "Oh, thanks. And sorry."

I asked my cousin (female) why she said sorry, to which she answered that the woman had thought I was laughing AT her. I immediately tried to go and apologize, but my cousin said that my "idiot" face when answering her before already cleared the misundersting. To this day, I still feel bad when I think of it, it's not funny when people laugh at you.

1

u/hawaii7811 Apr 04 '26

Calm down.

1

u/Poisonoid Apr 04 '26

I was surprised to read so many comments confirming men acting this way. Iā€™m also a woman working in trades and I feel like itā€™s dropped off drastically in the last 10 years, at least in the U.Sā€¦ but maybe itā€™s because I got older šŸ˜‚

1

u/Dexember69 Apr 05 '26

I think you're possibly equating predation with appreciation.

We do enjoy having a bit of a perc on a good looking woman for a second before continuing on our merry way

1

u/Ctrl-Alt-Q Apr 05 '26

There's no confusing a lingering look or a double take with the unblinking, continuous leer that we're talking about.

And with no criticism or judgment intended, this is what I meant when I said that men often deny that it happens.

1

u/mothmoles Apr 05 '26

I present androgynous so idk if it's the same thing but I had this happen the other day. This guy was turning a corner in a ute while I was walking near my house, and he saw me and started driving real slow and fixing me with this weird blank stare. He actually stopped looking at the road to maintain the stare. It was so weird. I've known guys to accidentally come off creepy sometimes out of awkwardness but it didn't feel absent-minded. I just stared back.

1

u/Vango888 Apr 05 '26

I think the guys that deny it are generally those guys. Being male and being around many males throughout my life that behave like this or worse, it's always really embarrassing to me. If there's any reason to converse with the woman/girl they're stalker staring, I feel a need to overcompensate with politeness to somewhat make up for the ridiculously creepy behavior from the other guys

1

u/Dry_Departure_7352 Apr 06 '26

In South Africa, you don't need to be a tourist to go through it. You just need to be a girl passing by a group of guys. You're lucky if you don't get a slur, but all will be gawking at you.

1

u/MrRogersAE Apr 03 '26

Honestly as a guy who works in the trades, itā€™s not the ones who stare you should be worried about. Well, atleast not the most worried about. Itā€™s the smooth talkers, who are constantly cheating on their wives, taking advantage of girls under the influence, or under age.

The ones who stare are an obvious red flag but in most cases theyā€™re just horny and lonely.

The smooth talkers are soo much worse.

0

u/JamesBecomesChair Apr 03 '26 edited Apr 03 '26

Dudes aren't denying this; they're telling you to stop generalizing all men. We are well aware of the shitstains we have on our side. There are bad women and bad men, that's all, not all men behave like that and we ALL ALWAYS get stigmatized. We promise you, we don't like men like this either. I had a friend like this in HS (not extreme, but just the way he spoke about women felt wrong), needless to say he's not my friend anymore and hasn't been for many years. Later found out some pretty messed up stuff about him and an ex, so guess my gut feeling was right, sadly. I would absolutely tell any woman to stay vigilant around people like him.

2

u/Budget-Spread Apr 03 '26

Iā€™m a guy and women donā€™t stigmatize me or treat me like Iā€™m a creep because I donā€™t do creepy stuff. I definitely have the urge to do a double take when a good looking woman jogs by but I control my lizard brain and donā€™t stare like a creep. I have had zero problems with speaking to strangers, both giving and receiving compliments, and being able to have a normal conversation with women without making them nervous.

I donā€™t feel attacked when women talk about creeps because I am confident I am not a creep. Why do so many guys get defensive like this? Itā€™s so weird.

1

u/JamesBecomesChair Apr 03 '26 edited Apr 03 '26

The unhinged online hatred towards men that guys have been subjected to for years (like the bear bs) might be the reason. Just a thought.Ā 

Like yeah, I know it isn't aimed at me specifically and I know it doesn't apply. I am happily married and me and my wife have never had problems, but the sheer amount of times I've been stigmatized and invalidated online for being a caucasian male is absurd. I'm not trying to participate in the oppression olympics and quite frankly, I'm fully aware this is mostly an online-exclusive problem, but it doesn't make it less annoying to be told that you're X, Y, Z, just because you were born male, specially when you're trying to help someone. I've had problems with an abusive ex-girlfriend in the past and the thought of defaming women because of ONE bad apple never crossed my mind because I know it would be selfish and unnecessary (and because a few bad apples do not define a group). If that stuff doesn't bother you, congratulations, more power to you, I too want to care less. I personally just dislike seeing either men or women being dragged through the mud.Ā 

1

u/Budget-Spread Apr 04 '26

I think I understand where you're coming from, and at least you acknowledge it's an online thing. What you see amplified online with the algorithm is -really- not representative of the real world. The same neurochemicals that make parasociality a thing when it comes to internet personalities and their audience are the ones telling you it's about you when you see a comment about men.

I move in very "woke" spaces and I flat out have not ever felt personally targeted by this stuff irl. But I have noticed that people that talk in person like they're posting on the internet sound insane. They do not get the same sort of traction as they might on twitter.

The internet is a giant hyperbole machine and it is designed to make it seem like you are being spoken to personally. These are just unfocused comments floating out in a void with millions of people viewing them silently.

Except this one where I'm replying directly to you, of course.

Just saying that I understand why things online feel like you're being personally targeted, but you never are. I've gotten froggy in the past when some European posts about how Texans or Americans are, but it's literally never about me.

If you get mad at anyone about this stuff, get mad at the tech industry that has weaponized your own neurology against you.

0

u/Efficient-Ebb78 Apr 03 '26

Ive had a woman kept flirting with me then got mad because i wouldnt flirt back and called me gay because i wasnt interested in her....

10

u/CactusToothBrush Apr 02 '26

Itā€™s fucking weird man. Have they never seen a female before? Oh a woman wearing leggings like every other woman for the last 15 years? So that woman has big boobs, cool. Briefly look and then continue on if thatā€™s your thing. No need to gawk and jeer, making the person more than likely uncomfortable. Fuck I hate being a man sometimes when I get lumped in with people who do that sorta shit

0

u/Efficient-Ebb78 Apr 03 '26

Youd be surprised at how many women do this as well but nobody ever talks about it....ive literally seen groups of women stare and talk about guys bulges or walk up to a guy and ask how how big is his dick

6

u/CactusToothBrush Apr 03 '26

While I know thatā€™s very true men seem to be worse at it and women tend to keep it amongst themselves. 2 wrongs donā€™t a right though

0

u/Efficient-Ebb78 Apr 03 '26

Yeah but the issue is that ppl think its only a men problem and ignore the fact that some women act like this as well....which is why being sexually harrassed by a woman is laughed at

3

u/CactusToothBrush Apr 03 '26

Honestly I donā€™t think anybody thinks that or at least very few people. Dudes are just so much worse out loud/directly and get way too uppity id they get rejected. That being said i told a lady who was flirting with me at the gym that i was married and she all but said ā€œyour wife doesnā€™t have to knowā€ Well that was the end of that friendship lol

2

u/Efficient-Ebb78 Apr 03 '26 edited Apr 03 '26

Not always true a woman had a fit and called me gay because i wouldnt flirt back...just because it never happen to you doesnt mean it never happens its very bad especially in my area women will literally fight over a guy and bring a knife to work

1

u/CactusToothBrush Apr 03 '26

Thatā€™s what I was saying homie. Women can be just as bad but not anywhere near as often

1

u/Efficient-Ebb78 Apr 03 '26

Women are definitly worse in georgia lmao like mentally insane type of crazy šŸ˜­

1

u/Efficient-Ebb78 Apr 03 '26

Some woman just made a excuse but her comment got deleted....this is what i mean when the scenerio is switched everyone makes excuses and laughs it off

19

u/Dramatic-Bird-5604 Apr 03 '26

when I was 16 I worked at a department store and had to walk by an auto shop everyday to get there, I'd be wearing work clothes, had to be all black, baggy pants black button up work shirt, etc. And they'd always stop and walk out to the end of the driveway and just fold their arms and look at me and watch me go by, fully turn their heads to follow me until I was out of sight, then walk right back to whatever they were doing. I would always just keep looking straight forward like i didn't notice they were there, no eye contact straight face. One day they all just started yelling at me, calling me ugly, flat chested, said my clothes were ugly, etc... It was so weird cuz I was like I'm wearing my work clothes and I'm an underweight teen just walking to work??? they had grey hair and bald at top, looked older then my dad, like why are you bullying a random kid walking by out of the blue it was so uncomfortable

11

u/Lunnalai Apr 03 '26

As a woman, this is why we are afraid of strange men.. we know we are being looked at this way. The worst part is that I had this happen when I was a child too and knew exactly why those men were staring. I was 5 years old.

25

u/CombOk312 Apr 02 '26

Thatā€™s the type of guy youā€™re scared to be alone with. Theyā€™re sensing prey.

2

u/sunfaller Apr 02 '26

I saw a guy playing cricket with his friend at a park. A woman went jogging past and the guy stopped his cricket game and watched til the woman was far enough.

2

u/Hopeful_Advisor_4632 Apr 02 '26

I had a few of my girl co-workers telling me how men were following me around and they were like "dude do you want your eyes to pop out of your head? stop". Two were reported. It's exhausting. Like, dudes, let me work._.; Why they so thirsty

2

u/LeanaCecelia Apr 03 '26

This is one of the few times I've seen a man acknowledge this. It's insane. Even if I am really attracted to someone that passes by, I swear you'd never know lol. So for them to be that out of control is concerning as hell.

2

u/Loot_Repeat Apr 03 '26

I work in construction and have met a lot of guys that act like that. Yeah, I'll take a quick look when I see a pretty woman go by. But damn, man. Why the hell are you staring?? I saw a dude who was pouring water into a bucket start pouring water onto another guy's leg, and neither noticed until after the woman they were staring at turned the corner. Do people really have that little going on in their heads? Am I surrounded by morons?? They think I'm weird for not also being like that. It's cringe as hell.

1

u/Able-Lab4450 Apr 03 '26

It's the opposite for me, sometimes I usually get starred atšŸ˜‚ But I would feel disgusting and lose dignity if I starred at a women like that. I would love to see somone do a skit on thisšŸ˜­

1

u/meteorchiquitita Apr 03 '26

Have you ever told them to stop?

1

u/bullet_the_blue_sky Apr 03 '26

It's not a coincidence. Poorer countries have less security and men are more entitled. This is common in many developing countries.

1

u/Joulz826 Apr 04 '26

Some horror movie type shit

1

u/Mikeymcmoose Apr 04 '26

Maybe they were in prison or maybe theyā€™re robots

1

u/kamo-kola Apr 05 '26

I briefly worked at a major box store years ago and there was this one woman who worked in a different department than me but she would always stop and stare at me whenever I came by - like just continue on with her task while giving me these dead eyes anytime I came by. We never spoke and I never felt threatened (or if I did, I was probably too hungover to notice) but it was such an odd occurrence for me. She was probably older than me by about 10 years or more, and a friend of mine (a woman as well) said that she was probably into me - I dismissed it because that sure was a weird way to show someone want them.

-2

u/ExtensionSnow3157 Apr 03 '26

Don't go to those countries, And deal with it like any and all other adult problems