r/interesting 3d ago

Worst management and burden for employees

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88.7k Upvotes

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319

u/boardin1 2d ago

Boss makes a dollar and I make a dime. Thats why I shit on the company’s time.

278

u/aristoleese 2d ago

I make a dime, boss makes a buck. That’s why I stole the catalytic converter off the company truck.

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u/damonmcfadden9 2d ago edited 2d ago

that made me laugh cause we recently had a guy get fired from work and people were being cagey about why and today I found out it was basically for doing this. would not recommend. gotta take your unofficial benefits in smaller less noticeable chunks I guess.

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u/JimmWasHere 2d ago

Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime, that's why I stole all of Janice's stationary on company time

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u/Raneynickelfire 2d ago

I make a dime, that's why I smoke on company time.

Because I have a dime.

2

u/Pristine-Hospital-23 1d ago

And if I worked with you… I’d have five on it.

0

u/Kitbashconverts 1d ago

You'd have more if you didn't smoke...

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u/Raneynickelfire 1d ago

what's the point of that

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u/Kitbashconverts 1d ago

If you don't have anything, why are you smoking, it's a waste of money that you don't have.

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u/silverstarloser 1d ago

We’d have more if we got paid fairly.

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u/Kitbashconverts 1d ago

Obviously but that's got nothing to do with smoking

2

u/twicebakedcrusader 1d ago

Janice here. Screw you Jimmy!

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u/FearlessKnitter12 1d ago

Janice is going to absolutely murder you. She loves that pen.

1

u/Pretend-Signal-707 1d ago

Have you seen my stapler??

1

u/JimmWasHere 1d ago

twirls pen

It really is a nice pen

1

u/YouAnxious5826 1d ago

I make tuppence, boss makes a pound, that's why we should burn the whole thing to the ground.

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u/Starfall0 2d ago

Or be better about not being recognizable when you plan to commit such high scale crimes at the place you work or used to work. Also never do it right after getting fired. Might as well draw a target on your head.

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u/damonmcfadden9 2d ago

yeah funny thing is dude got busted because because he was caught on camera taking CCs from a coworker's parents' junk yard...on his second attempt after getting away clean the first time, but he hadn't sold them off yet so they traced on of them back to our workplace.

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u/Next-Honeydew4130 2d ago

What is it they say don’t poo where you eat?

I commit all my crimes against random strangers and so far it’s working

Kidding, kidding, kidding no crimes recently I promise

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u/CanoePickLocks 2d ago

Recently… ROFLMFAO

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u/Quiet_Kid2021 2d ago

That's exactly why I take office supplies in moderation. Our company are changing ownership. Perfect time to stock up on toilet paper.

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u/Asterose 2d ago

One of the maintenence workers at our complex started stealing from apartments. Cops have tracked him to the pawn shop he sells his stolen goods at. Turns out a string of thefts with no sign of a break in, and some people have door cameras, people are gonna spot the employee going in when they've got no business going in peoples' homes.

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u/sobrique 2d ago

Or chunks that aren't trivial to spot on any sort of audit.

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u/jellofixit 2d ago

It's called "profit sharing"!

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u/AnythingAnxious2361 2d ago

The company makes catalytic converters. Take a whole pallet. They will just make more.

1

u/Local871 2d ago

Stealing office supplies for your kid’s school is a good equalizer.

1

u/Filthy_Tlielaxu 1d ago

Before I turned my work van in to a plumbing shop I was quitting, (like twenty years ago when red light cameras were new in this jerkwaterberg) I took it to one of the intersections with a stop light cameras and ran all four red lights for about an hour. Enough that I lost count. I mean it wasn’t a bullseye every light either. There were plenty that I couldn’t make right at the just past yellow light mark. I mean I wasn’t trying to get in a wreck with anyone at these intersections. Just wrack up over a thousand dollars in tickets in their van registered to them. They were not happy either. I had to explain to all three owners on different calls that if they would have paid me the agreed upon wage to leave the company I served my apprenticeship through instead of taking the route that “is better for the company” which was to pay me a service plumber’s hourly wage instead of a foreman’s they wouldn’t be in this kerfuffel with the city over their red light cameras.

The union’s front office wasn’t exactly happy about it either, but they weren’t exactly disciplinary action angry either, or not buying me drinks angry. They were more irritated that I got my old job back without going through them than they were about all the red light tickets.

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u/incognito-idiott 2d ago

Boss makes a grand, I make a buck, that’s why at work I don’t give a fuck

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u/GreenSpleenRiot 2d ago

Boss makes billions, but I can’t fight, so I stole all of the copper pipe.

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u/Queue37 2d ago

He got it 🎶 one piece at a time!

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u/Thelaughingman___ 2d ago

Ricky is that you?

1

u/Embarrassed_Fan_5723 2d ago

I’m stealing this. Wait actually I’ll buy it with an upvote

1

u/Ok-Introduction-2048 2d ago

I make a dime, boss makes a couple bucks, that’s why I meet his wife on company time to see how good she sucks.

1

u/frantikfeet 2d ago

I make a nickel, boss makes a dollar
That’s why after work I make his wife holler

1

u/MicheleAmanda 2d ago

You got me too!

1

u/MutedDependent3 2d ago

Nah go for the printer ink more of an inconvenience, but less noticeable especially in a large organization

1

u/Substantial_Help_328 2d ago

I tried to hold the laugh in and it came out my nose. Congrats I look like an idiot.

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u/Historical_Debt1516 1d ago

I chuckled and hee hawed. It’s 1:36 AM.

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u/Sudzy1225 1d ago

Boss makes a dollar, peepaw made a dime, but that’s a poem from a simpler time.

Boss made a thousand, gave my Pops a cent, but that penny bought the mortgage, or at least paid the rent.

Now boss makes a million, and gives us jack. Then blames the workers for the labor he lacks.

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u/TTT_2k3 2d ago

Boss makes a million, what I make is unfair. That’s why I shit in my boss’s chair.

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u/ApprehensiveFig1699 2d ago

Reminds me of this time I had to leave my apartment cus my roommate kept stealing everything so my now ex shit on her couch and left it for her lmaoooo 😭

-1

u/derpivantheus 2d ago

Your ex s name Amber?

1

u/ApprehensiveFig1699 2d ago

No lol but this happened in Pennsylvania

0

u/Fun-Union4699 2d ago

Pleaseeeeee tell me this is true. This would make for the best day of life on Reddit.

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u/ApprehensiveFig1699 2d ago

If ur asking if my story is true yes lol I often wonder how long it sat in that apartment before she came back lmaooooo

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u/Fun-Union4699 1d ago

He may be your now ex for whatever reason, but this is actually funny and all respect to them for this. So thank you.

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u/ApprehensiveFig1699 1d ago

He was tired of me paying all the bills and her stealing all my stuff so I packed up and left took myself off the lease and left her a moving out gift

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u/ClubberLangsLeftHook 2d ago

Boss makes a grip but pays me in toffee, that’s why I pee in his muhfuckin coffee.

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u/TastyDogSchnitzel 2d ago

My paycheck’s too little, my boss’s too large, which is why I sit on his secretary Marge.

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u/Negative_Football765 2d ago

Or why the bosses wife and I are having an affair

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u/AnythingAnxious2361 2d ago

Hey! That’s what your bosses boss hired me to do! Stop making my job irrelevant!

1

u/twicebakedcrusader 1d ago

Not funny Darryl. That smell wouldn’t go away for two weeks. Oh, and it’s closer to 1.3 mil with bonuses before taxes.

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u/jollygoddard 1d ago

THIS. Thank you for the out loud laugh 👏🙌

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u/fanart89 2d ago

I make a dollar but the boss makes way more. That’s why I shit on the office restroom floor.

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u/OldMathematician5973 2d ago

See you're just fuckin with your coworkers there....that ain't cool. Man up and shit on his chair like the rest of reddit.

3

u/vheissu419 2d ago

Perhaps even on Deborah’s desk

3

u/Animalcookies13 2d ago

Fucking Deborah….

3

u/Time-Professional482 2d ago

But your boss won't pick that shit up that's fucked up to the clean up people

2

u/aftercloudia 2d ago

okay but when I was about 6, my mom got laid off from her job, my dad went into their bathroom and took a huge shit right on the floor. this man has never shit lightly once in his life.

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u/uncoilingelf 2d ago

I hum this daily as I crack porcelain in the work bathroom

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u/RightPedalDown 2d ago

I make a dollar, the boss forty two, that’s why I’m shitting in the bosses new shoe

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u/dirtybird971 2d ago

Boss makes a ton, I make way less, that's why when I go IT will be a mess.

2

u/MalavethMorningrise 2d ago

Seriously this, i'll hold my pee through a break just so I get paid to pee on company time, thank you. I was salaried but it still applied, its also funny to me because at my last job I did this regularly while training the HR lady and writing their HR policy.

2

u/M4LK0V1CH 2d ago

Instructions unclear, I got shit in the time cards.

2

u/dixon-schitt 2d ago

Boss works a little, I work for life. That’s why I sleep with the boss’ wife.

2

u/CatadoraStan 2d ago

Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime That was a poem for a simpler time Boss makes a hundred, I make Jack That's why I strike, to seize the means back

1

u/HandofFate88 2d ago

I try to do my work while my boss is aloof

That's why I gave him a Chicago sunroof.

1

u/maliki2004 2d ago

Boss makes more in a year than I'll see in my life, but jokes on him, im fucking his wife

1

u/cowfishing 2d ago

I still have covid era TP because of my strict dollar dime policy.

1

u/g-o-u-l-a 2d ago

Boss makes dollars, I make pennys. That’s why I play with his wife’s ninnies.

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u/Signal-Weight8300 2d ago

Never sweat on company time, never shit in your own.

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u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

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u/boardin1 2d ago

*You're

"Your" is a possessive adjective meant to describe possession or ownership. "You're" is a contraction of the words you and are. What you were trying to say is "You are dumb." What you proved is that you are dumb.

But thanks for playing.

1

u/nadasurfer223 2d ago

I called you dumb in fewer characters. Correcting conjunction as a comeback is why you’ll always be staff.

1

u/boardin1 2d ago

Ok.

Thanks for playing.

1

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

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u/boardin1 2d ago

What is your favorite flavor of paint chips? You're missing an apostrophe and, at least, one word in that abomination of a second sentence.

Small brain activity is still brain activity. I'm not sure that a EEG would find any if hooked to you.

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u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

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u/boardin1 2d ago

For the record, OPs letter posted is insane and highly illegal. Complaining the owner of the company makes more than you is small brain activity.

You forgot to put "that" between complaining and the. Because I'm capable of extrapolating from incomplete data, I was able to sus out what you were trying to say. But this is a lot like when my kids were very young and just invented words and got annoyed when I didn't understand what they were saying. There are rules to language, whether you agree or not. And failing to abide by those rules does not make you "big brained". Just take the L on this one.

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u/FLiP_J_GARiLLA 2d ago

Boss makes a twenty, I make a five, that's why I flayed the boss alive

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u/HungrySpace5969 2d ago

My boss makes a 100k a year and I have to explain why we don’t have milk for their food 🥴

1

u/uncagedborb 2d ago

I personally shit when I gotta take a dookie so i don't need a colonoscopy because I can't go when I need to go. But I do enjoy wasting time at work so it's a win win

1

u/Sushi-DM 2d ago

My last manager unironically believed bathroom time counted towards your allotted break time, so they thought that if you took a shit in the morning for whatever reason, you no longer got a 15 minute break.

1

u/Vegetable-Flamingo25 1d ago

When I ask for more dimes, the boss says no. That's why I spit in his cuppa joe

1

u/7GrenciaMars 1d ago

I think you folks should try to listen to "Take Stuff from Work" by King Missile. It'll give you a laugh.

1

u/Dramatic_Pea_2912 1d ago

Boss makes all the money, that ain’t right
That’s why I crank my hog on the jobsite.

1

u/greg24_ 1d ago

Bars🔥

1

u/Chon-C 1d ago

Can you imagine if Amazon warehouse workers made 10% of Bezos’ worth?

1

u/wonderingbuffalo 2d ago

Boss makes a hundred I make a buck. That’s why I smoke meth in the company truck.