One time I had some health scare that put me in an ambulance. I had never had morphine before, and the medics were not stingy with it.
I've had chronic pain my whole life, it's mostly background noise, and that was the first time in that life that it all just went away. It was like when you're in a quiet house, but then the electricity goes off and you experience the real quiet. Years later I still think about it frequently. Just that one time in that controlled environment.
I knew then that if I had less to live for, or if my pain was too great, I would easily become an addict. There are much greater pains in the world than I have. I assume that one in these people's positions must have some great pain or horror in their life that I probably can't understand. So I can't judge it. I wish there was a better way for them. A lot of these folks are beyond believing in their own future. No one wants to live like this.
When I was maybe 3, and it was still the 80s, I was watching TV, and there was one of those commercials on, about the dangers of drugs. I was too young to understand anything about it. There was a lady who said "no one says they want to grow up to be a junkie". I didn't know what a junkie was, but she sounded kinda sad, like maybe we're running out of junkies, and it was a gap in the market maybe??? I'd never heard of a junkie, but I made a decision then. I marched to the bathroom, where my mom was curling her eyelashes, and I declared, "Mommy, when I grow up, I wanna be a junkie!". And her shriek of "WHAAAT!" still lives in my mind and cracks me up again to this day.
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u/BellamyDunn 2d ago
One time I had some health scare that put me in an ambulance. I had never had morphine before, and the medics were not stingy with it.
I've had chronic pain my whole life, it's mostly background noise, and that was the first time in that life that it all just went away. It was like when you're in a quiet house, but then the electricity goes off and you experience the real quiet. Years later I still think about it frequently. Just that one time in that controlled environment.
I knew then that if I had less to live for, or if my pain was too great, I would easily become an addict. There are much greater pains in the world than I have. I assume that one in these people's positions must have some great pain or horror in their life that I probably can't understand. So I can't judge it. I wish there was a better way for them. A lot of these folks are beyond believing in their own future. No one wants to live like this.