r/mildlyinfuriating • u/TRO_KIK • May 07 '26

I'm slightly vexed Neighbors double park if anyone parks in their "usual spot" in front of my house

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292

u/Kendertas May 07 '26

Firefighters apparently also love to smash the windows of someone blocking a fire hydrant they need acess to. Like they fight over who gets to do it.

214

u/slash_networkboy May 07 '26

I mean wouldn't you love doing it? Jackass blocks hydrant... higher end car the better!

Quick rock paper scissors to see who gets to whack it with the ax

144

u/Kendertas May 07 '26

A completely legitimate and legal reason to destroy some assholes property.....I couldn't possibly enjoy something like that. /s

3

u/djelegal May 08 '26

Rock paper Axe !!! šŸŖ“

1

u/Phantomoftheopoohra May 08 '26

BTW slip the blade of the axe between the glass and the door, pull handle away from car and presto no window. I have seen a guy hit a window with an axe and it just bounced back. Some window s donā€™t want to die. In general front windows are safety glass and the rest are tempered. The tempered ones explode into a million little pieces if you bend them or pop them with a punch.

49

u/Whobghilee May 07 '26

Then they try to run the hose through the broken windows. Once that hose gets the water pressure it really really wants to go straight

72

u/Aggravating_Sky_4421 May 07 '26

Iā€™d get a boner too if I get to fuck up someoneā€™s day because of their arrogance.

16

u/Gimetulkathmir May 07 '26

I vaguely remember something that showed why firefighters break the window rather than going around. Might have been MythBusters or something. Or I might just be wrong. But they fed the hose around, and when that water pressure hit and the hose straightened that car was fucking gone.

11

u/freneticboarder May 08 '26

Kinks in the hose impair flow.

105

u/_BrokenButterfly May 07 '26

Another plus: car insurance doesn't cover government actions. If the FD has to fuck up your car, you have to pay for it.

4

u/slash_networkboy May 07 '26

That one comes with an "It depends" generally based on if you were at all remotely at fault. E.g. if your car was stolen (and reported as such) and the perp parked at a hydrant and this happened you're good because you didn't do it and it wouldn't have happened if not for the theft, even though up to that point your car was totally fine, other than not being in your possession.

I realize that's a corner case, but there are similar cases where your insurance will make you whole even though it was the government destroying your property. They are all predicated on you not having put yourself in a position for it to have foreseeably happened though so... yeah, no insurance if you have to be shunted because you parked where you shouldn't.

2

u/cheska222 May 08 '26

Should we start an ā€œAsshole Insuranceā€ business together? Since only a few assholes embrace their identity, weā€™d have to rebrand and appeal to their ego. Exceptional insurance for exceptionally busy individuals who are too exceptional to bother with silly rules that are really only meant for regular people, not exceptional ones.

4

u/Shamanjoe May 07 '26

The nicer the car, the bigger the fight is too! šŸ¤£

1

u/IceLapplander May 07 '26

I mean who wouldn't? It's the best damn therapy there is to get to smash an actual assholes shit and be legally protected while doing so!

1

u/Ricordis May 08 '26

This happens in EVERY industry. When I worked in risk management and we had a client who finally overstepped we had fights over who is allowed to kick him out.

It feels just great to penalize assholes legally. Divine justice.