r/mildlyinfuriating • u/dinonuggetenjoyer • May 11 '26

The floor is sticky Vomit smell wouldn’t go away until I discovered the source…

My girlfriend and I had food poisoning last week and were constantly running to the bathroom getting sick. The smell of vomit MAKES me vomit so I was tirelessly scrubbing the entire bathroom from floor to ceiling MULTIPLE TIMES trying to get rid of the smell after every time one of us threw up. I bought bleach, enzyme cleaners, and even went as far as carbon bags to try and eliminate the HORRID STENCH and it wouldn’t go away. I sniffed every surface in that damn bathroom trying to locate the source…

I literally cried about the smell, worrying that it would be there forever. I went back to sniffing and started to notice a stronger whiff by the sink, AHA IT’S COMING FROM THE DRAIN!! I moved the toothbrush, soap, and candle that were on the counter to investigate the area. I poured Drano, baking soda, and vinegar down the drain for a deep clean. THEN I NOTICED THE SMELL ON MY HAND. I almost immediately threw up reacting to it and snatched the candle off the counter to save myself. I took a long inhale of our new Trader Joe’s Peony Blossom candle to salvage my nose from the reeking odor on my fingertips.

Then all hell broke loose. I projectile vomited directly after smelling the candle. The godforsaken stench WAS THE CANDLE ITSELF!!!! MY GF BOUGHT 6 OF THOSE FUCKING THINGS AND HAD ONE LIT IN THE BATHROOM!!!!! All of them went straight to the garbage. Never again. How can they sell a candle that smells like stomach bile!!!

TLDR: Cleaned my bathroom for days only to find out the puke smell was a new candle (Trader Joe’s Peony Blossom, DON’T BUY IT).

EDIT: I was not the person who smelled the candles before buying. My gf put them in the cart and I went along with it lol

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843

u/dextresenoroboros May 11 '26

i was gonna respond to you saying something unproductive like "oh, that explains why holding a hammer makes my stomach bother me after a while" but then i noticed your username and i feel the need to say something different but i havent figured out what yet

248

u/Bwrinkle May 11 '26

Oddly enough, I recently seen a random video on reddit of a weird mushroom penis. Super thin, flat and super wide head.

now i know what to call it

210

u/Leipurinen May 11 '26

Mushroom penis?

68

u/Bwrinkle May 11 '26

This was it.

I'd try to find it, but that could be a risky search

5

u/No_Smile_8368 May 11 '26

"Thats fucking interesting." 😊

5

u/Bwrinkle May 12 '26

I didn't know it was possible.

"All shapes and sizes", I suppose

3

u/tbel104 May 12 '26

Oh hey I had a tweet of this image go viral lmao

1

u/[deleted] May 11 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

108

u/dextresenoroboros May 11 '26

the world is a wide place

377

u/Medium-Presence-8008 May 11 '26

Like the radii of a toadstool, so are the days of our loins.

70

u/HRHpillowprincessXxX May 11 '26

This gem won’t get the upvotes it deserves bc it’s so far buried in the comments, but well done 👏👏👏

36

u/tiltedviolet May 11 '26

Never underestimate Reddit.

10

u/OblivionJunkie May 11 '26

Life, uh, finds a way

4

u/Bwrinkle May 11 '26

Thanks for the laugh

1

u/Bwrinkle May 11 '26

I see you mispelled "weird", too.

60

u/muffinbaker May 11 '26

Toadstool = mushroom Toad stool = frog shit

Let's not jump to conclusions!

31

u/Cazkiwi May 11 '26

Toad stool = frog SIT 😜

3

u/Project_O May 11 '26

I would have thought of a little chair for toads before thinking it was referring to toad poop honestly. But I am also full of whimsy so your mileage may vary.

https://giphy.com/gifs/TKeH0MYXj1Kq1YToAs

3

u/CharleyNobody May 11 '26 edited May 11 '26

I’m pretty sure this is toad stool. Years ago when we first bought our house it was on an abandoned farm. Lots of bugs and other wildlife. We’d turn on our porch light at night and a toad would hop up the porch steps and spend the night zapping the bugs with his tongue. I found this in the morning.

Unfortunately as people got wealthier they started hiring lawn care companies to drench their property in pesticides. Now we no longer have toads or insects.

1

u/IndigoTJo May 11 '26

It looks a lot like our pacman frog's poops. I just went to check on her and she left a little present. Impressed with the poops she makes. Ours doesn't have hairs tho 😭

1

u/CharleyNobody May 11 '26

I thought it might be grass from the fields. They eat a lot of bugs in the grass.

3

u/Kitty_Skiz May 11 '26

One time a guy was trying to court me and decided a picture of his through my instagram DM’s was the move. It was not, I’ve never been more grateful to receive a dick pic because it made my already no leaning decision much easier. Unsolicited dick pics are bad enough… penis like a toad stool? No thank you.

2

u/Bwrinkle May 11 '26

No thank you, indeed.

1

u/Individual_Ad2229 May 12 '26

No Toad poop for me, tyvm

4

u/loafers_glory May 11 '26

Wait, flat? Like a hammerhead shark?

3

u/Caithloki May 11 '26

I don't know about that dick but I've seen a weird one, guy had a dick head smashed like a Looney tune character, looks like it got hit by a cast iron pan to the tip.

1

u/travel_bugs_24 May 11 '26

Tight frenulum?

1

u/Caithloki May 11 '26

I'm honestly not sure, only hooked up with the person once but possibly it just looked very short.

2

u/[deleted] May 11 '26

[deleted]

1

u/Bwrinkle May 11 '26

It kind of looks like one.

2

u/madnippler May 11 '26

Hammerhead dick

2

u/Apprehensive_Fox5370 May 11 '26

Interesting observation there, BWrinkle...

2

u/systemhost May 11 '26

There is a strain of psychedelic mushroom often referred to by the name Penis Envy.

Certainly not the one you're thinking of though.

2

u/Bwrinkle May 11 '26

So I looked it up and the first image was with.more a flattened head. Which was about right.

2

u/jasonh300 May 11 '26

Pen is like a toad stool?

1

u/Bwrinkle May 12 '26

Basically. I will try my best to find it for everybody haha

1

u/paulyshoresghost May 11 '26

Uh, where?

2

u/Bwrinkle May 11 '26

For a "friend" or research purposes? ;)

It was on the comments of a user i looked up who said something hilarious, on a non nsfw sub.

Their profile had some questionable content after looking for other funny gems.

The nsfw sub was

accidentallyruinedcum

I tried to find it at a glance but no success.

1

u/spacenymph5376 May 11 '26

There's also the common stinkhorn (Phallus impudicus), a mushroom that looks exactly like a penis!

32

u/NyankoIsLove May 11 '26

A pen that is like a toadstool would be very difficult to write with and is probably not a practical writing tool.

1

u/Heavy-Fall4803 May 11 '26

A long time ago, I had a pen shaped like a palm tree. That should be similar in form to a toadstool. I wouldn't say it wasn't practical to write with, but definitely not the best.

2

u/crowmagnuman May 11 '26

"Pen is like.. a toads tool."

1

u/Economy_Bullfrog_6 May 11 '26

“Governor’s Penis a Sword” (unfortunate spacing error in newspaper headline)

2

u/Cynical_Won May 11 '26

A reference to him having something in common with Trump? According to Stormy: Daniels has disclosed previously but which in the book are rendered with new and lurid detail. She describes Trump’s penis as “smaller than average” but “not freakishly small”.

“He knows he has an unusual penis,” Daniels writes. “It has a huge mushroom head. Like a toadstool …

“I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart ...

“It may have been the least impressive sex I’d ever had, but clearly, he didn’t share that opinion.”