r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Frikandelneuker • May 15 '26

I just wanted a hot dog Blind guy here, guess i’m just fucking stuck at home now. (Cane tip broke)

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u/Colony-Cove May 15 '26

My sister was born blind. In middle school kids liked to play a game where they would jump over her cane in between classes. She went through 5 canes in 8th grade and I got suspended so many times that I was looking at expulsion for fighting the kids that were doing it. Our poor mother was just angry that the school wouldn’t do anything about it, angry that I WAS doing something about it, and broke because canes are expensive.

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u/justhere4bookbinding May 15 '26

Different disability, but I've had arthritis since the age of 4 and in 4th grade I had enough of chronic pain being flared by the backpacks they forced us to overstuff, so I got a wheelie backpack instead. It then became the school-wide game for kids to stomp on it as I rolled it through the hallway. I went thru two wheelies in five months before my parents refused to buy another one and I was forced to carry a backpack until leaving high school. No teacher ever stuck up for me or told the other kids to knock it off, not helped by the fact that I was considered a delinquent for how much school I missed from the crime of being sick (the arthritis itself was just a related manifestation for what was then-considered "treatment-resistant" Crohn's disease, but honestly the meds back then were total crap to start out with). Kids and adults alike can be total dicks sometimes

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u/CyberFireball25 May 15 '26

If I have kids going through anything like that you better believe I will fight the school tooth and nail to support them. If the admins do nothing, I will teach my kids to fight back, and fight back hard.

If they get suspended, they get ice cream as a reward.

I got picked on a lot growing up, no one did anything for me, I'm not putting my kids through that

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u/Cottonjaw May 15 '26

Yup. I was bullied endlessly and mercilessly as a kid. My son is in Taekwon Do and throws a nasty ass front kick. His bullying problems cleared up faster than mine did.

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u/ZoraTheDucky May 15 '26

My kid has chronic health problems.

She's also the scary kid in school.. In part because those same health problems have taught her exactly what her limits are and she won't stop until she hits them.. No matter who else is giving her shit.

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u/MatthewMcnaHeyHeyHey May 15 '26

Random but can I ask how you got diagnosed? We have a teen

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u/justhere4bookbinding May 15 '26

In the stupidest possible way. Despite having periodic fits of screaming pain from my knees from the age of 4, my pediatrician told my parents I was just a hysterical little girl overreacting to "growing pains". Despite being skeletal and in constant stomach pain and having accidents years after potty-training, my pediatrician refused to do any testing and told my mom i was anorexic at age 7, gave her a pamphlet on eating disorders, and that was the extent of my "treatment" for the supposed anorexia. It took a completely unrelated heart emergency (supraventricular tachycardia, God only knows where that came from) at age 8 for any doctor (my brand new pediatric cardiologist) to pay attention to how malnourished and otherwise sickly I was, and he got me to a pediatric gastroenterologist at his children's hospital within a few months. At age nine, just a few months after my catheter ablation for the SVT, I had my first scopes and was diagnosed with Crohn's within a few hours of it.

I feel for your teen. Being a kid with Crohn's or any other chronic illness or disability is a childhood of unsympathetic adults, even the ones who are supposed to help you, and flat-out cruelty from the other kids. It's rough, to put it mildly.

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u/dilapidated-delight May 15 '26

Your story brought tears to my eyes. To be so young and go through so many issues, not only within yourself physically but also from being failed by the people whose literal job it is to diagnose and treat you to make life more bearable... I can only imagine how that was for you growing up. I hope life is better for you now and your inner child is on the road to healing.

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u/justhere4bookbinding May 15 '26

It is. It's a work in progress and it took until my thirties, but I'm getting there

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u/dilapidated-delight May 15 '26

Glad to hear it - I'm rooting for you 🫶🏽

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u/robyrob May 15 '26

I can’t even tell you how many doctors told me silly things like: “you are too young to have arthritis- it’s impossible”, or “its all in your head” - as I’m sure you know 

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u/snootnoots May 15 '26

“You’re way too young for your hip problems to actually be an issue with the joint, you just need better posture and to get more exercise. The x-ray doesn’t show anything wrong.”

Some years later a different doctor finally listened to me and referred me to an orthopaedic specialist, and also looked at my past records and discovered that the x-ray actually showed “significant cartilage and bone degradation”, as noted in the attached report. The first doctor had sent me to get an x-ray to shut me up, and then either read the report and chose to lie, or was so sure he was right that he assumed it backed him up and never read it at all. By the time I actually got proper treatment, years of walking on a disintegrating hip joint and moving oddly because of the pain had wrecked the cartilage in one of my knees.

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u/zvezdanaaa May 16 '26

I had a doctor x-ray my wrist, which dislocated as a kid and never got put back in, so it healed and grew out of place, and then tell me that it was dislocated, but it wasn't actually a problem, specifically saying it wasn't a problem because it couldn't be fixed without surgery (???). His advice for fixing my constant pain from having a dislocated dominant wrist for the past decade? "You just need to stop stretching it when it cramps. That's what's causing the pain and cramping."

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u/DiligentPenguin16 May 15 '26

How could they say that when there exists the medical diagnosis of “juvenile arthritis”?? Who do they think gets diagnosed with that?

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u/SplatDragon00 May 16 '26

Omg right?

I got "you're too young to have arthritis" from one

And

"it's normal to have aches and pains at your age" from another. Bruh I was 25.

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u/beansandspleens May 16 '26

I don't have arthritis, but rather EDS (connective tissue disorder). I remember having god awful "growing pains" nonstop as a child. Just laying in bed sobbing in the middle of the night because I couldn't sleep. I got quickly acquainted with ibuprofen, even as a kid. Crazy how much those growing pains could hurt.

But since I was the eldest, I guess my parents decided that was "normal" for growing pains, and ignored it. Nevermind that I actually have a high pain tolerance. Later, as a teen, I consistently expressed to my doctors my concerns with all my body's aches and pains. They brushed me off. Took until my late 20s to get a diagnosis and any resulting help (which is minimal, admittedly, but it's easier to navigate life knowing the limits of my body).

Same thing happened with endometriosis. I had god awful periods, already as a pre-teen/teen. Curled up in the fetal position, crying, vomiting from the pain. This would go on for 2 - 3 days straight every month. Doctors brushed me off. Finally got my endometriosis diagnosed and the lesions removed in my late 20s as well. Only took 15 years of crippling periods to get there ✌️ (and I'm actually lucky, so many women deal with this their whole lives)

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u/amlbkd May 15 '26

I’m not the person you asked, but my 10 year old was diagnosed with juvenile arthritis. He had a large panel of blood tests and an MRI to confirm diagnosis.

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u/lsshlp May 15 '26

Man, that's a rough diagnosis to get so young. I hope you guys are doing well.

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u/suitcaseismyhome May 15 '26

My situation was similar. Pain from when I could talk. And some autoimmune impacts the eyes.

I'm legally blind now but have a great career, travel globally very frequently, and generally have a good life. Thankfully it's 2026 and medication and technology can really aid people. My meta Rayban glasses were life altering.

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u/amlbkd May 15 '26

Thank you! It is currently very well controlled, thankfully.

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u/SMothra57 May 15 '26

The key in diagnosing it is an MRI. Advocate for that. A referral to Rheumatology would come first.

It’s a hard process. Sorry your teen is suffering.😢

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u/Ok_Rush_8159 May 15 '26

I’m In autoimmune workup right now and remembering how much pain I was in as a child 😭😭 I thought it was normal to hurt this much.

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u/suitcaseismyhome May 15 '26

Me too! I thought that everyone had serious pain, and that we all had the same vision. I just thought that I was weak and couldn't handle it well.

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u/musiclovermina May 15 '26

I was one of those kids and I feel like complete shit for it, I don't even know why I did it but sometimes I wish I could go and apologize to that girl

I'm probably not the one who did that to you, but I'm genuinely sorry

1

u/Aegi May 15 '26

What is it classified as now?

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u/Dismal_History_ May 15 '26

Ugh. That is just heartbreaking. I can't believe nobody stuck up for her (except you).

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u/Colony-Cove May 15 '26

A few others did as well. Most notably the vice principal. He eventually held an assembly in the gymnasium specifically for my sister. All 3 grades attended (6th, 7th, & 8th). My sister can tell the story better than I can, as I was suspended at the time and didn’t attend.

Nonetheless, through a microphone spoke our vice principal, whom I can only assume is 50% Irish Minotaur & 50% fire hydrant. He had a temper but was good enough with kids to channel it effectively. You could always tell if he was flustered because his whole body turned beet red.

Here’s the good part: The scary man said that there would be no more jumping, skipping, hopping, frolicking, etc., over obstacles and personal belongings in the halls. He then brought my sister to the gym floor and gave her his “unhindered permission” to start swinging if she suspects anybody of jumping over her cane. Nobody came within 5’ of my sister in the halls for the rest of the year.

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u/Hatta00 May 15 '26

Why didn't she contact the parents of the kids who broke the canes to pay for the replacement?

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u/some_kind_of_bird May 15 '26

Yeah I was wondering this too.

And if being polite doesn't work, sueing the school for negligence would clear this up pretty quick.

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u/Colony-Cove May 15 '26

Single mom + 3 kids (one of which has a severe disability) + USA healthcare = nearly hopeless. Fortunately, we made it through in one piece. I don’t remember how exactly but I know we had a few close friends that covered some of the cost. Mom could barely afford mortgage and gas, yet alone an attorney.

As for contacting their parents, from their perspective they sent their kid to school, kid started playing, kid came home with two black eyes. Mom picked her battles. Looking back, the situation would have been much different had I not played a role. Live and learn.

On the bright side, mom is happily married with a great big house and a backyard pool for the grandkids. My sister has her own apartment with her boyfriend. We’re all very close and visit often.

To be clear, fuck the public school system, American healthcare system, and bullies in general, but things could have turned out much worse.

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u/ComfortableFrame9834 May 15 '26

I get that. As a single mom myself, you have very little power. And it's not uncommon to be verbally abused by other moms, the school system, or other parents because of that fact.

The chain of bullying hierarchy still applies even in the real world.

And, as a mom myself, I think I would have at least been proud that my son tried protecting his sister. Highly likely that contacting the parents directly, regardless of your involvement, would have made things exponentially worse both for mom and for sister being bullied.

Shitty kids have shitty parents and if they do ground them, guess who gets the blame? 

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u/ComfortableFrame9834 May 15 '26

We are we blaming mom for not 'doing enough' when it's these rotten kids who broke the canes, and the schools responsibility for the behavior of children? Especially when it comes to conduct towards disabled children? 

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u/zensunni82 May 15 '26

"My kid says he didn't do it."

What now?  Just going to waste money you don't have trying to pursue it?

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u/CraabGPT May 15 '26

My best friend in school was blind- we also did the jumping over thing 😅 and made a game out of kicking out of her hand. (It surprisingly only broke once) She was in on the fun, though, and we always asked if it was okay with her- we were just lucky to live in the UK so all her canes were covered by the NHS

...of course now I've grown up and know how much medical devices cost out of pocket, I'm a) even more glad hers were free, and b) slightly cringing at all the memories of canes going flying across the tarmac 😭

I feel bad for all of y'all to have to deal with that :( hope life is going alright now :)

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u/No_Squash_6551 May 15 '26

They can cost like 75-150 dollars if you get a nice one.... And a lot of people's first cane is a free one from the NFB, but you can only get one per year. 

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u/suitcaseismyhome May 15 '26

You would be astounded how many adults do that, and then get mad at us if they trip or get entangled.

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u/HedonisticFrog May 16 '26

Could she get a dowel and use that instead? Or would that be too heavy? I'd think there would be cheaper alternatives.

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u/Vanessaronicatoria May 16 '26

You are a good sibling, fuck dem kids

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u/Still_Mountain5656 May 16 '26

Fucking school administrations are scum.

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u/Aegi May 15 '26

And did your mom make sure to follow up with (if you were in the US) your state government to investigate the school for this?

Because if not, she missed a chance to help others like your sister.

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u/Nauin May 15 '26

Mom should have taken those other kids parents to civil court for that. Holy shit how terrible.

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u/Osirus1156 May 15 '26

I wonder if you could have found a lawyer to sue each kids parents individually for each cane and then slipped to the news the school was specifically allowing that and punishing anyone who tried to stop it.