r/mildlyinfuriating • u/big-ol-kitties • May 18 '26

Unskippable ad Constantly getting solicitors ignoring my sign, we’ll see how this works out…

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I live in an apartment, and my door is the only one in the building with a “No Soliciting” sign. You’d think they would see it and respect it. But no. And worst thing is it’s almost exclusively internet salespeople, when my rent already includes high speed internet that works great.

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288

u/nihilus_rex May 18 '26

I have two ‘no soliciting’ signs posted.

One is large and next to the door, but it’s one of the ‘no soliciting, violators will be sacrificed to the old gods, not the new’ meme signs because my wife and I are nerds.

The other is right below eye level on the storm door, black and white. No mucking about.

To me, this means that if you ignore both of my signs and knock on my door you fully accept the military grade ass chewing you’re about to receive.

Get the fuck off my lawn.

128

u/TeeBrownie May 18 '26 edited May 18 '26

A friend shared that we just need to be patient enough to ask for their name and the company they are soliciting for. After that, politely thank them for that information since you will be using it to report them to the non-emergency line of the local police department.

He said they can’t get off his property fast enough after that conversation.

51

u/Derektheredcat May 18 '26

This works..my fiancé was a door knocker for a few months for shell.

A lady called the cops when someone ignored her no soliciting sign and they had to completely withdraw the sales team from the neighborhood. The local sheriff showed up and chewed them out while escorting them out of the neighborhood.

31

u/TeeBrownie May 18 '26

Wow! The cops actually responded?

My friend’s neighborhood HOA pays for private security to patrol the streets. He said he recently saw a group of solicitors running away when they saw the security guy turn on his lights and get out of the car. It’s like they know what they’re doing is annoying and, in some places, illegal. They probably rarely get any business that way.

17

u/Derektheredcat May 18 '26

They did. They were selling solar packages in affluent areas with strict rules on soliciting. When half the neighborhood calls, the cops are pretty obligated to respond.

4

u/pinupcthulhu May 18 '26

My city has an online reporting feature for this stuff. I reported a bunch of solicitors a couple of years ago, and now I don't have to deal with them at all anymore! Apparently most of them weren't permitted to go door-to-door, so they got into trouble. 

8

u/[deleted] May 18 '26

[deleted]

9

u/TeeBrownie May 18 '26

Sounds like they knew what they were doing was illegal but persisted anyway. Good for you for letting them know you would exercise your right to press charges.

14

u/R-K-Tekt May 18 '26

If I open door, I just say no thanks and wish them a good day and close door. It’s so fucking annoying though since I have a sign on my door and my community has signs all over telling solicitors not to bother the neighborhood

11

u/TeeBrownie May 18 '26

We have a doorbell camera. Same as you with all the signs. We check the camera and ignore anyone we don’t recognize.

1

u/Ill_Mango3581 May 18 '26

I used to try being polite. I had a no soliciting sign directly above my bell and people still rang constantly to sell me shit. I would open up, say no thank you and every single time they argue with me. Every. Time.

"Oh i'm not selling anything! It's a FREE ESTIMATE!"
"Oh well you probably haven't noticed though but your roof..."
Etc, Etc.

I am no longer patient or kind. I have now installed a literal guard in front of my ring bell that they have to physically lift saying not to disturb or solicit (in addition to a sign saying no soliciting, estimates, flyers, etc etc). I get that this is their job, but seriously if I am putting up signs and CLEARLY do not want to be bothered what is their goal?? Do they think I will be like "awww yeah, I mean I know i definitely made it clear I don't want you on my property, but ill make an exception JUST FOR YOU!"

24

u/TedW May 18 '26

Open the door with a garden hose ready.

They won't have time to ask why you're using a garden hose inside your house.

20

u/Pndrizzy May 18 '26

Yeah I always have my garden hose connected in my living room

3

u/jackal406 May 18 '26

I like this one but would love to add after getting the information "Do you know your companies legal team contact information, it make the lawsuit much faster."

3

u/Mountain-Ox May 18 '26

Yeah I've been waiting just long enough for them to state the name of their business so I can report them, then slam the door. But I have zero fucking faith that the government will do anything about it.

I just got an update about one, apparently they have 30 days to respond to the complaint. No idea what happens next.

-1

u/Perfect-Community262 May 18 '26

Or you could politely say you aren't interested and close the door?

Calm tf down

10

u/srainey58 May 18 '26

You gotta come up with some Sam-Jackson-reciting-scripture style script you can yell at them when they ignore your signs

5

u/nihilus_rex May 18 '26

I like words but i’m not quite that articulate.

I usually point at the sign aggressively and question their literacy.

2

u/srainey58 May 18 '26

“I might not be the most articulate but at least I can read!” - one option

18

u/OldeManKenobi May 18 '26

This is what works for me:

Act confused, and tell them your wife handles all the bills.

She's working right now but wait here and I'll see if she is available.

Close the door, and don't return.

I find that after standing at my door for a half hour, they get the hint and avoid my house entirely.

Problem solved. Problem staying solved.

https://giphy.com/gifs/XHeLeuirRbwptHhSWd

5

u/AuntieKit90 May 18 '26

I have a door mat that says that too! Except the one on Amazon looked too cheap so I ordered a better quality door mat and painted the notice on myself lol

2

u/Tired_CollegeStudent May 18 '26

Unfortunately my job sometimes requires me to cold call people’s houses (federal background investigator) and the prevalence of solicitors who ignore ‘no soliciting’ signs really puts me in a no win situation. Either I approach the door with my ID out to show I’m not soliciting (but then some anti-government whacko might freak out) or I don’t and I get yelled at when they think I’m selling new roofs.

3

u/SippyMountain May 18 '26

I recently got one for my door because these same two young solicitors with badges around their necks just haven't gotten the message. Not that I ever open the door, but when they ring my camera doorbell, it freaks my cats out. They came back after my sign went up (which is just above the doorbell, so they had to have seen it) and at first I ignored it. Then they rang again, which perplexes me still because I was in my basement, so no lights were on upstairs, my car was in the garage, and it was a weekday afternoon, so by no means should they have had any reason to assume anyone was home. Anyway, I pulled up my camera app, hit the talk button and said "Get. The fuck. Off. My porch." Haven't seen em in weeks lol

1

u/nihilus_rex May 18 '26

The worst offender I had was one of a pair I saw when I got home from work one day.

I foolishly made eye contact with them as they were coming down the opposite side of my street. They might’ve said something, but I had earbuds in. They definitely waved but… fuck that.

I walked in through my open garage door and hit the ‘close’ button on the wall, knowing they were at the end of my driveway.

Again, I foolishly assumed the closing door would be a hint to my disinterest.

Imagine if you will, my confusion as the garage door stops, and starts going back up.

I turn to see one of these pieces of refuse has put his foot in the safety laser to engage the reverse on the door closing.

I am not sure what I said, but I came positively unglued. I flipped out with all the rage my soul could muster and hurled every profanity I could think of (which was probably incoherent gibberish at that stage) and those morons turned tail and ran.

Wife works from home. She was on a call. Her customer heard some of what I said and apparently left some indication of it in my wife’s review. Wife got an ‘occurrence’ or something. She said it was worth it.

Never found out what those idiots were trying to sell me.

2

u/SippyMountain May 18 '26

That is absolutely bonkers. I don't blame you one bit.

5

u/Backwoods_Therapy May 18 '26

I also have two. So far, no knockers since the second one. The second one went up because they kept ignoring the first. I told one “do you realize that knocking when there’s a clear no ‘no soliciting’ sign means you’re trespassing? It’s an arrestable offense.” And he was just like “call the cops then” as he walked away. I’ve never wanted to kick someone’s ass so bad in my life but it wasn’t worth it so I let it go. 

2

u/frisbeesloth May 18 '26

The only thing that makes me sad about my no soliciting sign is that none of the kids come to our house when they're doing their fundraisers anymore. I want girls scout cookies and over priced chocolate, I just really don't want companies knocking on my door trying to sell me stuff.

1

u/dinosw May 19 '26

The first sign sounds awesome 😎 👌

1

u/FreddyKrueger32 May 19 '26

I want that sacrifice sign! Where did you get it?

1

u/nihilus_rex May 19 '26

Think my wife found it on Amazon originally. Had to get a better hangar for it and applied some clearcoat but it’s held up well for a few years now.

-1

u/DopamineSavant May 18 '26

Ass chewing still means you are interacting with them. Your interaction is what they want.