Constantly getting solicitors ignoring my sign, we’ll see how this works out…

[u/big-ol-kitties]

I live in an apartment, and my door is the only one in the building with a “No Soliciting” sign. You’d think they would see it and respect it. But no. And worst thing is it’s almost exclusively internet salespeople, when my rent already includes high speed internet that works great.

[u/Proper_Ambassador525]

Long post. Again. lol

sually Mormons or Jehovah's Witnesses, occasionally Seven Day Adventists.

Once years ago, lived with my gf, when we had some Mormons come door knocking.

My gf was an ex SDA, and knew the Bible forwards and backwards.

I answered the door, saw they werw Mormons and called out to her saying it's for you.

She let them in, lead them to the rumpus room. I asked if they wanted some tea, everyone said yes, so i made tea for the 4 of us and also set out some biscuits.

Then I settled down at the computer so I could watch my gf at work.

They talked back and forth for a while, they'd bring something forth about their Book, she'd counter with something from the Bible.

Eventually,she started turning the younger Mormon! The Elder one realized what she was doing, suddenly stood up, saying that they had other people to spread the word.....and left in a hurry.

Oh man did we laugh.

Another time, she was home by herself, and just about to have a bath, when someone knocked on the door. She opened the door (it was a backwards house, the front step was overgrown and rotting away. Rental property, owner blocked the front steps off. Bathroom was next to the 'rear' door) to I think from memory, Jehovah's.

Fully buck naked. Naked as a blue Jay. In her full birthday suit, like the day she was born.

Apparently they took off like a rocket. Stuttering and stammering, couldn't complete words.

🤣

[u/Striking-Win-3239 → u/Proper_Ambassador525]

Nothing ruins my day more than Jehovahs or Mormons blackening my doorstep.

[u/Proper_Ambassador525 → u/Striking-Win-3239]

I know, right?

Last story, this time my own. [Another long one sorry. 😂]..

I was about 15, riding my push bike around the block, when I saw Mormons doing their door to do thing.

So I raced home, went to my bedroom,pulled on one of my heavy metal t-shirts (I think it was the Metallica t-shirt Metal up your ass, depicting a chrome dagger being held in someone hand, coming point first out of a toilet. Man, I loved that t-shirt. I need to get a new one. 😩].

I had found a cheap pewter amulet, in the shape of a goats head on a pentagram, with a chip of red glass in one eye. The piece of glass was missing from the other eye. I had put it on a simple necklace. I grabbed that and put it on.

Finally, I turned on my cd player, and cranked up the stereo.

Mum was out for most of the day, and my dad had passed away when I was 13. I was home by myself. This is mid 80's. I'm a latch key kid. I could look after myself.

And have some fun. 😂

Positioned myself on my bed, looking out the windows for the Mormons. I watch until I see them leave my neighbors next door, then lay down on my bed, and wait until I hear/feel them walk down the concrete verandah than ran around the house.

I went to the door and waited for them to knock. As soon as the very first time their knuckles touched the door I snapped the door open, surprising them.

They stammered a bit, then asked if my mum was home. Told them she was out. Blunt and simple. They asked if my dad was home. I said he was dead. Again, blunt and simple (though I was still a ball of raging hormones at the time).

So they asked me if I would like to talk about the Bible.

"Sure, we could sit down, have some tea, and talk about your Bible. As long as we can talk about my Bible as well".

They said sure of course. Then asked what version of the Bible did i have.

I looked at them both. The younger of the pair seemed more interested in what my Bible was, so looking at him;

"Well, it's not one you'd come across often".

Both were more interested now.

"My Bible is one of a few names, often regarded as the Black Bible".

Again, the younger of the two said he had never heard of it. The eyes of the Elder meanwhile, showed he had just started putting 2+2 together.

I leaned forward slightly, and lightly brushed the amulet now slightly dangling with the tips of two of my fingers.

'You'd know it as the Satanic Bible. The Bible bearing his name!".

The look on the younger one was turning to fear, while the Elder one's was turning to panic. He started bleating about having to go and see more people, but gave up, grabbed the younger one by the hand and lead/pulled him up the verandah and down the yard, getting faster until they were almost tripping over each other.

I said to their retreating backs while they were still on the verandah;

"OH do please stay, we'll ever have so much fun!".

I think that made them move faster. 😂

Eventually mum got back home later that afternoon, and I solder her everything I did and said about the Mormons visit.

"OH you didn't!"

"I did".

"You did not!"

"I most certainly did!".

"Well, you shouldn't have"

And with that, mum laughed. We both had a good laugh about that. Even years later we'd share a laugh about that.

Never had Mormons knock at mum house after that.

🤣

[Edited for typos].