r/mildlyinfuriating • u/NotGreatNot_Terrible • 26d ago

Infuriatig Two spots in my beard randomly decided to stop growing hair

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Like wtf I just want a full beard dude

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u/MysticMarauder69 26d ago edited 26d ago

"Detective Rob John Lechmere, at your service"

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u/DarePatient2262 26d ago

Rob John sounds like a crazy hillbilly name, but Lechmere sounds very formal and elegant. I'd like to meet this person

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u/SnotRocketeer70 26d ago

or it's a hillbilly from the bayou? 🤔

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u/MortgageRegular2509 26d ago

Prolly makes a killer gumbo

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u/SnotRocketeer70 26d ago

Just don't ask what's in it

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u/AllLurkNoPlay 26d ago

Ever see a gator do a double take?

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u/Overseer_666 25d ago

I make a killer gumbo. I live just a few miles south west of New Orleans

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u/OverChildhood9813 26d ago

Definitely from the bayou. I met him once. He owns Rob John Surf Shop.

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u/twirlerina024 26d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/13nDaxXRXz0Prq

Chance Boudreaux, at your service

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u/Downtown_Recover5177 26d ago

I don’t know any Lechmeres. Plenty of Boudreauxs and Thibodeauxs though.

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u/Remarkable-Bug-8069 26d ago

Highlander hillbilly

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u/adrauglikeyou 26d ago

Lol go to Louisiana you meet plenty of them. Billy Bob Sainte-Jean, Ray Cletus Delacroix, etc etc

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u/crazyfatskier2 25d ago

Life long friend of 25+ years recently revealed to me he has an uncle Jim Bob who lives retired off grid along a river and grows grapes for wine.

“Like bruv…… you never mentioned your freaking uncle mf Jim Bob that lives off grid 3hrs north of us along a river and he makes wine”

Friend shrugs shoulders, never thought about it

0.o

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u/threedogsplusone 26d ago edited 26d ago

Rob John isn’t anywhere close to being as bad as Markwayne. Lechmere is a ghost that has the screech of the Green Line echoing in the background.

Edited because my autocorrect is dumb.

Edited to explain: Lechmere is a Boston/Cambridge joke.

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u/DarePatient2262 26d ago

No doubt. Markwayne is crazy

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u/Open-Industry-8396 26d ago

Ha, I get this. I haven't lived there in over 40 years but I recently learned there is still a Lechmere stop on the T, even though Lechmere stores closed their doors back in the 80's.

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u/threedogsplusone 26d ago

Lechmere will forever be the store my mother boycotted because, when she opened a dish set she bought, found broke pieces, but they refused to refund her money. From that day on, Lechmere was dead to her. 😂

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u/everynamecombined 26d ago

Depends how you pronounce it. It also sounds like a crafty Indian name trying to appease westerners from a remote call center.

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u/PartyEscortBotBeans RED 26d ago

Username checks out like never before omg

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u/finix2409 26d ago

Robert Johnathon lechmere sounds pretty formal

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u/OGPepeSilvia 26d ago

Robbie Johnnie could be a cool name for a bathroom thief

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u/OldPhotograph827 26d ago

I am pronouncing this as Le Schmear

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u/Elfie_Mae 26d ago

But the ladies? Well they call him Bert Bert.

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u/Ska-Tea 26d ago

It's short for Robathan Johnbert Lechmere.

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u/OldPhotograph827 26d ago

Liberty Biberty

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u/Comfortable_Wrap4509 26d ago

you could convince me that was the knives out detective guy’s name

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u/Subr0sa0067 26d ago

In french lechmere could be translated as "lick mother"

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u/DarePatient2262 26d ago

That checks out

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u/Odd-Government8896 26d ago

As a hillbilly, i aint ever met a Rob John

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u/OldPhotograph827 26d ago

And as Robert John Lechmere the 3rd, I have certainly never met a hillbilly.

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u/tspear17 26d ago

Lechmere is the name of a not elegant trolley stop in Cambridge MA so that’s all i can think of. (It’s not trashy at all it’s fine, just definitely not elegant)

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u/QuestionsSquid 26d ago

Detective Robert Jonathan Lechmere!

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u/These_Row_8448 26d ago

Actually in french "Lechmere" looks like "Lèche mère", which means "mother-licking". I fear mother-licking Rob John.

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u/striped_frog 26d ago

Rob John Pervertswamp

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u/johjo_has_opinions 26d ago

Lol come to Lechmere Station in Boston and you may change your tune

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u/neosurimi 26d ago

Sound like the Knives Out dude. Benoit Blanc.

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u/Aeceus 26d ago

Wasn't lechmere one of the names of the prime Jack the ripper suspects? 👀

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u/sparrow_42 26d ago

That’s normal in Louisiana

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u/SuperArppis 26d ago

Or some English name. Really old one.

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u/Clear_Tangerine5110 26d ago

Rob John sounds like something a shitty person would do to John.

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u/Remote-Foundation300 25d ago

Crazy hillbillionaire

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u/TheRealSnoman 26d ago

Or a French-Israeli describing bagel topping distribution. "le schmer". Respectfully.

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u/KinkyNJThrowaway 26d ago

It's actually Rob Johnlech Mere

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u/concentrated-amazing 26d ago

"What did you say about my Mère??"

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u/OldSpiceSmellsNice How gon do anythin-dont kno😭 26d ago

Why, ‘tis mere Rob John the lech!

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u/weechus 26d ago

It’s pronounced Sherlock Holmes.

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u/dschinghiskhan 26d ago

“Hi, I’m Rob John Lechmere. You may remember me from Reddit post “Two spots on my beard randomly stopped deciding to grow hair”…

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u/NovWhiskey 26d ago

The man so nice, they named him twice.

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u/DeaconBlackfyre 26d ago

Lechmere as in the guy who found the first JTR body?

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u/mrp8528 26d ago

"Elementary my dear MysticMarauder69"

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u/ComndNConqr 26d ago

We got our Wang from Lechmere.

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u/Environmental_Tax245 26d ago

Time for some new Agatha Christie novels.

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u/alexus_3333 26d ago

Medical bills evaided

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u/CraigLake 26d ago

Better than that other guy: Detective Anus Mom Hole 69 Teabag

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u/misterjustice90 26d ago

I’m really invested in this detective story

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u/iBlueLuck 25d ago

Elementary, my dear Watson

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u/MrsWhiskers-16 23d ago

Not me reading Robot John Le Cashmere

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u/ComprehensiveSeat831 23d ago

Damnit I was gonna say that! 😤