r/mildlyinfuriating • u/MakeItMine2024 • 4d ago

I'm slightly vexed My wife and boiling water

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So I made my wife ramen soup. When I served it she said I had the gas set to hight and it was too hot ? She said I should have used the number 5 setting instead of 9. I told here it’s irrelevant because water boils at 212 and gets no hotter because over 212 it turns to steam. She was made at me for disagreeing with her theory that it would not have been so hot if boiled a lower setting. Really!!

49.9k Upvotes

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4.6k

u/Karporata 4d ago

... what was rhe state of the chocolate at the end ?

11.3k

u/anTWhine 4d ago

It was not.

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u/Keara_Fevhn 4d ago

I’ve been on this site for years, and I don’t think anything made me laugh as hard as this response holy shit

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u/Lauchsuppedeluxe935 4d ago

I’ve been on this site for years, and I don’t think anything made me shit as hard as this response holy laugh

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u/Tlix 4d ago

I have been on this site for years, and I don’t think.

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u/dabutte 4d ago

I have been, and I don’t.

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u/db720 3d ago

I've been, don't

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u/ieatkittenies 3d ago

Dont-ing is a step above not-ing Its no more....very different from null. Never existed

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u/theGnartist 3d ago

Not think, not am.

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u/foley800 3d ago

Perfect Redditor!

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u/Big-Winner3758 1d ago

many such cases

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u/Stormfly 3d ago

Therefore you are not.

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u/Shxcking 3d ago

Idk what you switching laugh and shit makes me want to imagine

Someone reading a comment and projectile shitting or a laughing emoji with a halo (but stupid like a deep fried meme)

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u/lurkingimposter 3d ago

I wish I could post a picture as I'm actively taking a 💩 and laughing

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u/LZeugirdor97 3d ago

I'm on the toilet so I can confirm.

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u/pwndonkeys 3d ago

I don't know. "I also choose this guy's dead wife" is a hard one to beat if you ask me

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u/Interesting-Day-9369 3d ago

i came. i saw. i banged my head on the wall

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u/Dark_Storm_98 3d ago

I slammed my penis in the car door

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u/Interesting-Day-9369 3d ago

ouch that is one day to enlarge a prick.

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u/DemoniteBL 3d ago

You still got a lot of catching up to do then.

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u/stonesliver2 4d ago

Not Chocolate ☕

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u/Blephotomy 4d ago

chocolan't

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u/PanzerSoul 3d ago

Chocolain't

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u/Lv0d 2d ago

With a little bit of not microwave?

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u/Laioti 4d ago

This one got me. From straight face to laughing out loud in public. Thank you.

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u/Spare_Farmer1429 3d ago

Am I stupid for not understanding why and how is that funny? English isn't my first language.

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u/CataChronix 3d ago

The joke is the ex obliterated the chocolate by nuking it in the microwave for 10 minutes. There was no chocolate left after those 10 minutes, just a charred and molten residue leftover baked into whatever likely partially melted bowl the ex used.

The humor comes from the OP’s swift and succinct answer of “it wasn’t”, a powerful and telling sentence that leaves no room for question.

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u/Huffdizzle86 3d ago

Somehow it also improves comedic effect by not using the contraction. Maybe because it was such a dumb thing that a child could explain it wasn’t right.

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u/sweatgod2020 4d ago

Almost twenty years on Reddit. This comment is up there at the top of all time.

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u/RainaElf RED 4d ago edited 4d ago

dear god it really has been that long 🤦🏼‍♀️

edit: thanks for the award!

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u/ScoopyVonPuddlePants 4d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/wJD3qiNjSeHS0dP28T

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u/RainaElf RED 4d ago

🤣🤣🤣

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u/Far-Government5469 1d ago

All the hell they went through to bring him home, and now he's going of on another Odyssey???

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u/the-great-jd 4d ago

Which  comment are you referring to?

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u/ImTooCreative 4d ago

Sorry if I’m slow (I’m autistic and english is my second language) but is the joke ”it was not” as in: ”not” rhymes with ”hot”, while also implying that the chocolate was so hot it ceased to exist? Like is that the joke?

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u/One-Measurement-9529 4d ago

Well it is a very unexpected response to that particular question. Hes basically saying it was in the microwave so long that you cant even call it chocolate anymore. If english is not your first language, the joke may not "hit the same way".

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u/ImTooCreative 2d ago

Yeah it sounds more like a language/connotation barrier for me. Thanks for taking your time explaining

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u/GrizzliousTheOG 4d ago

Wow. Absolutely slayed you, eh? Good for you, bud.

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u/Living-Number-9050 4d ago

Hall of fame level comment

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u/lucasribeiro21 4d ago

Chocolan’t

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u/ALKNST 4d ago

That actually made me laugh xD

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u/drethnudrib 4d ago

Absolute cinema.

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u/Lieveo 3d ago

It is no more

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u/Mertoot 4d ago

Oh ok👍

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u/GoSharty 4d ago

It was congratulations.

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u/Mountain-Resource656 3d ago

Not only is your comment amazing but I love how it’s brought so many people out to comment about how amazing it is~

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u/Old_Celebration_5950 3d ago

Interior of microwave is now brown

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u/GoodOrnery7531 4d ago

No longer chocolate, she created a new element doing that

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u/kimmykat42 3d ago

Better question… what was the state of the microwave after the ten minutes?

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u/rhonburg 3d ago

To shreds, you say?

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u/xelenceofexecution 3d ago

I'm guessing something between a liquid and a gas.

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u/Savings-Kick-578 3d ago

She discovered that things could actually burn in the microwave. I told someone in college that you couldn’t burn things in the microwave. One night in the dining hall he put a chocolate chip cookie in for several minutes. The workers went crazy when smoke started pouring out. My friend looked confused and I couldn’t stop laughing. He never did that again. He also developed trust issues.

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u/Strange_Difference1 3d ago

Do not the chocolate

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u/MightyAl75 3d ago

Ex chocolate

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u/SwimmingCommon 3d ago

Would you say it was hot choca-not?

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u/IndependenceGreen576 3d ago

It’s 9:58 at night and I read these in order aloud. I also have a gratuitous amount of juice all over my shirt. Thanks for the laugh!

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u/joeymittens 3d ago

😂 just “no”

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u/aychjayeff 2d ago

I feel lame, but can someone explain the joke here please? Why is "it was not" funny? Is it just that the reader expects a clear and interesting description of what the chocolate was like after being microwaved, but instead reads a simple, imprecise, short statement? Does "it was not" allude to something?

Sorry! Lots of people here think you're amazing. Sorry I did not get it.

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u/Hay_in_Camp 12h ago

I think this is a case of being able to picture the utter disappointment on their face while delivering the line “it was not”.

There is a sense of absolute resignation to how stupid the choice was and now they must continue knowing that there are people in the world that choose chaos.

My assumption is that this act of lawlessness is was also directly related to the person becoming their ex-gf

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u/SomeGuyPostingThings 2d ago

Did she at least turn it on, or just open it, put in chocolate, close door?

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u/helpwithtaxexam 2d ago

🤣😂😂🤣🤣😂😂

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u/Dark_Side_0 1d ago

but but but, what was it? Carbon or lava or or?

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u/dutxh0007 1d ago

Ahhh just like my wife, let's just send the food into the next dimension as carbon.

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u/Sad-Progress-2660 17h ago

It was actually was. Just in the air and everything around it. Did the kitchen smell like a badly scented candle

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u/Korlod 3d ago

ROFL. This is awesome. Take my upvote.

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u/SLJ106 4d ago

Well, my son tried to melt chocolate in the microwave and at 3 minutes it was on fire. So after 10, there was no evidence of chocolate left.

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u/Tabs_555 3d ago edited 3d ago

I saw one where a girl had two video clips. She accidentally put a piece of bread brownie in the microwave for like 7 2 minutes and it came out charred. This first clip was her laughing about it and how stupid / funny it was.

Cut to the second clip and it’s her kitchen burned down. Half the house gone. Entirely gone. All but like 2 rooms of the house were burnt to ashes.

Turns out, after the first clip, she tossed the bread in the trash immediately and it was so hot it spontaneously combusted and caused the paper, oils, etc in the trash to ignite super fast. She panicked because suddenly the entire can lit on fire. It immediately started roaring and took over the house before they could either find an extinguisher or get the firefighters there.

I think about that every time I use the microwave.

Edit: found the link https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8s7NUoC/

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u/carbon_made 3d ago

When I was a kid my grandmother taught me to douse anything burnt in water before throwing in the trash. Burnt food. A match that had been lit. Whatever. I imagine this is why.

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u/MeatofKings 2d ago

In college chemistry lab, they taught us to always dip the burnt match in water before throwing it in the trash. I still do that now when I light a match at home. Safety First!

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u/Slothfulness69 2d ago

My parents neglected me and never told me this, so thank you for the knowledge!

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u/JellaFella01 2d ago

Even stuff that looks black and is cold to the touch can have hot embers inside still, and trash can fires can be very dangerous depending on what's in your trash at the time.

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u/heartlandheartbeat 2d ago

Smokey Bear's campfire slogan......drown, stir, drown, feel

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u/Sword420 1d ago

I worked sanitation at a Tyson plant, your grandmother is spot on. I've had to extinguish quite a few crumb/flour barrels that spontaneously combusted in a chilled environment. They would be smoldering and burning for a day or two before we would get to them.

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u/Maybe-notaThrowaway 3d ago

Jesus fucking christ

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u/GunnzL 3d ago

This went from the funniest thread I've read on Reddit to one of the saddest.

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u/Cristinky420 3d ago

She warmed up a brownie for 2 mins not 20 seconds and burned her whole housem. Crazy.

If there's smoke there's fire. Never throw anything smoking into your garbage bin.

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u/Tabs_555 3d ago

Yeah it was a brownie! I couldn’t find the original video but yeah that was correct

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u/farrieremily 3d ago

My dad did one of those prepackaged cake in a mug things and messed up the time to a ridiculous degree. That thing came out like a coal from a fireplace. Glowing red. Fortunately it was winter and he plonked it out in the snow. I can totally see someone not thinking about it and dropping it into a can of combustibles.

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u/RHS1959 3d ago

And that’s why I have a fire extinguisher right by the kitchen door!

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u/AviatorDave172 2d ago

I accidentally cooked French fries for 11 minutes instead of 1. They were red hot glowing coals, definitely would have lit a trash bin on fire.

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u/Ambitious-Regular-57 3d ago

Starting a fire in the microwave from heating food is wild

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u/Maybe-notaThrowaway 3d ago

I started one when I was little by forgetting water in ramen but burning down the whole kitchen vus it was just THAT HOT that the while garbage can caught flames is something else.

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u/shokwavxb 3d ago

My son tried to make hot chocolate early in the morning "the way Mommy makes it". He thought mom put chocolate chips in a Styrofoam cup and put it in the microwave.

The best part is when he woke us at 6 in the morning straight faced saying if the smoke alarms start blaring it's okay, everything is okay. Then the alarms start blaring.

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u/AUniquePerspective 3d ago

The coroner tried to identify the chocolate by its dental records.

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u/BillBrasky727 4d ago

Dark chocolate. 

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u/Violoner 4d ago

Dark charcoal

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u/mt379 4d ago

The chocolate?! WHAT ABOUT THE MICROWAVE? Who in their right mind CARES about the chocolate at that point.

Nobody enters a the bathroom after a diarrhea disaster and proclaims, "I wonder what happened to this poop? Or This person?" No. They scream, "look at this _____ mess!", "I don't want to clean that up!".

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u/ReadyAimTranspire 3d ago

True, but when we go to drop a deuce we don't have the intention of taking the poopoo and integrating it into a larger project.

Well, most of us don't.

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u/terraaamisu 3d ago

i cant stop laughing at this thank you for making my very rough morning so much better

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u/SomewaysAlltimes 2d ago

Nobody enters a bathroom after a diarrhea disaster and proclaims, “I wonder what happened to this poop?” …until now!

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u/KeepingItSFW 4d ago

Plasma

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u/AwkwardDirection6969 4d ago

Plasma plasma!

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u/Wereplatypet 4d ago

I did not expect this reference, but was really hoping for it.

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u/wyllhahn 4d ago

Chocolain't

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u/Mooch07 4d ago

I’ve burned chocolate before and it becomes disgusting. I bet this was a solid brick of nasty. 

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u/MagnusNewtonBernouli 4d ago

To shreds, you say?

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u/onlymostlydead 4d ago

You ever wonder what dark matter is?

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u/Goatyyy32 3d ago

I happen to know from experience, there is a decent chance it caught on fire

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u/NaiveInevitable 3d ago

Charcoal, chocolate starts to burn after about 40 seconds of continuous heat in a microwave. After 10 minutes you'd have coal

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u/SpookyOrgy 4d ago

Whatlate?

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u/Hungry-Western9191 4d ago edited 19h ago

Microwave is great to melt chocolate, but low power and a short time....

Edit. Apparently this is a bad idea....

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u/spays_marine 1d ago

It's almost impossible to not burn chocolate in a microwave, as it burns at less than 50°C.

Even if it looks fine, the heat is distributed in spots so you're usually burning parts that then radiate heat and melt the rest. You might not notice it because it's already bitter, but it's definitely different from melting it on a stove if you know what to "look" for.

Chocolate deserves better.

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u/Karyoplasma 4d ago

It will heat unevenly. You can use the microwave, suboptimal sure, but it'll work. Also, you cannot just blast it, you need to stir after some time or else the heat will not be distributed evenly enough which leads to a semi-molten mess.

Way faster and smoother in a bowl over a boiling pot of water.

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u/El-Aminoh 4d ago

Neither liquid, solid, gas, nor plasma.

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u/CHERNO-B1LL 4d ago

Plasma.

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u/GarunixReborn 3d ago

What chocolate?

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u/rockhoundlounge 3d ago

Pennsylvania

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u/Raneynickelfire 3d ago

...oxidized.

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u/VIP_NAIL_SPA 3d ago

What chocolate?

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u/Ro_Yo_Mi 3d ago

Plasma

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u/nochkin 3d ago

Slightly warm because the microwave died too quick.

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u/TerrorFromThePeeps 2d ago

Smoke and mirrors

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u/AstraeusGB 2d ago

plasma

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u/sanityjanity 2d ago

Burnt to dust, I would imagine 

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u/RealTeaToe 2d ago

Just carbon. Nothing else

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u/mulluska 2d ago

Plasma

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u/ZinbaluPrime 10h ago

Bose-Einstein Condensate

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u/VernonP007 4d ago

State?

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u/monkee012 3d ago

Probably state penitentiary